tales of a traveling (almost) librarian

There's been a change...

2007-01-08T16:47:00.000-05:00

You should be redirected to a new site within a few seconds of reading this page. However, I think it feels like longer than the five seconds it is supposed to be, so, if you're impatient, click here.

hello 2007!

2007-01-01T19:39:00.000-05:00

Okay, I have to admit. I'm not much one for New Year's Eve. Its busy and expensive and overrated and people are just trying so hard to have a darned good time that it always seems that people are disappointed. In order to avoid this, I didn't plan anything. The day before yesterday, a few friends and I semi got our plans in order. But, it was less plans and more mutually planned hanging out.

By nine or so, my living room was nicely filled by the usual suspects. Tasha, Court, Stephanie and Eddie, his brother Bert, Julia and I hung out in living room while, with breaks to the deck to visit Jarrod and Chris, or to the kitchen to pour more wine or treats. I think it was pretty quiet until Tasha brought out the mojitos. Then it got really rowdy--I mean, we played Trivial Pursuit. On the Xbox, so at least we didn't have to worry about losing any pieces.

Even with static-y (we don't have cable) Nathan Philips Square coverage on to announce the New Year, I think it was one of the most enjoyable. I have had exactly one other New Year's that was excellent. It was three or four ago now, but, it was the only time I bought a ticket, got dressed up, and went out with girlfriends. Actually, when I think about it, maybe going out for New Year's isn't so bad. Maybe next year.

The Swing of Things

2006-12-29T12:58:00.000-05:00

I'm having trouble getting back into the swing of things. For instance, yesterday I actually had to work. My supervisor had sent out an email a while back offering Christmas hours. Part of the email said, "Its quiet, so bring a book." It was not quiet. And even though I brought a book, there was no reading to be done. There was real work to be done, people to help, UTORdial accounts to troubleshoot, and I did not like it one single bit. I had expected a semi-quiet day and I hate not getting what I expect.

I love breaks. I love not knowing what day of the week it is, even if it means that I miss garbage day. I love sleeping in. And reading three books in three days. And big breakfasts with eggs and toast and sausage and coffee because there's time to enjoy it. I love staying up late and watching the James Bond movies that Jarrod downloaded.

There was a time when I would have said that I needed something to keep me busy and productive. And while I know that I would start feeling like that after a month or so of breaking, that I would get a bit antsy, right now, a week into the world of relax, I would say that I could live like this forever and not worry about being productive again.

I'm going to go eat breakfast at one o'clock, read a book, and visit my dog. Maybe work out. Maybe not. Because, hey, I'm on break.

2006-12-22T23:51:00.000-05:00

Dear Aunt Lynn and Uncle Doug,

I just thought I'd take a second to thank you for my Christmas present. I know that the tickets weren't given in the best of circumstances, but, we did have a wonderful time.

We got all dressed up, which meant that Jarrod wore his really nice suit. And Jarrod even gave me my Christmas present early so that I could wear it (you can see it when we get to Windsor). Dad gave us a lift down there, so we almost arrived in style. I have a bit (read: a lot) of a cough left over, so I was afraid of being kicked out. But, things all went well, seeing as how I was full of cough medicine and brought a bottle of water.

We loved the show. Okay, there are some things that I would improve. But really, have I ever seen a movie or read a book that there wasn't something I would change? The dynamic between the two women was fantastic, but, if Galinda kicked up her leg one more time...

Thank you thank you thank you for giving us an evening we otherwise would not have had.

Merry Christmas!

xoxo

Alli

2006-12-20T18:02:00.000-05:00

Alli's Method of Beating the Hell out of the Common Cold:

Mope around for a few days, so that it thinks it is getting the better of you. Extra points if you fake it so well that you start to believe yourself that it is getting the better of you.
Make friends with Buckley's. When you start to like the taste, you're know you're getting better.
Learn to sleep sitting up. Not only will you cough less, you'll also freak out anyone who walks into the room during the night. Yesterday, Jarrod started a conversation with me because he thought I was awake. In his defense, not only was I sleeping sitting up, I also had my Nalgene bottle on my lap.
Water. Lots of water. When you feel that damned cough coming on, drink it.
Tylenol with codeine, over the counter from the friendly neighbourhood pharmacist. No, seriously, codeine is a cough suppressant, and when combined with the wonderful DM, it almost makes you feel human again.
Rolling up kleenex into a little sausage and sticking it in your nose. Prevents the nasal drip and is uber hot.

Now, I can't guarantee this method, seeing as how, well, I'm still rather coughey. But I will mention that this is the best that I've felt in a week, so, I think I'm on to something.

2006-12-18T19:21:00.000-05:00

There are very few things that could make a girl like me (and by that I mean one who is sick even though its been FIVE days) feel better right now: soup or ice cream. I'm working tonight, because I figured the only thing worse than writing a paper while ill is to be writing a paper while ill when you could be getting paid to write it. So, at work, after suffering through a few short but cough filled calls, its finally my break. And I go upstairs to grab, oh, I don't know, maybe some soup? Lo and behold (that's for you!), the whole cafeteria is torn apart. Not only is there no chance of me getting soup, there's no chance of my fracking getting anything.

I realize though, that there are vending machines. And, there's ice cream in them. The thought of smooth cold ice cream on my sore tender throat was enough to get this gal a salivating. But, I only had a new Canadian five, and of course, the machines just kept rejecting it. I am telling you, after a day like this (and the previous five sicky ones), I was about ready to burst into tears. You know that feeling you get when things are just too beyond your control but something really simple would have made it all better? That was how I felt, standing there, looking at the ice cream, with a stupid new fiver in my hand.

You had better believe that if the convenience store by my apartment doesn't have the ice cream that I want, I am going to go absolutely postal.

On the upside, my paper is officially seventeen pages. That is so much closer to eighteen than I ever expected to get. And my foot notes are done. I'm not sure its English, but, hey, they can't fail me. Knock on wood.

Things that make me

2006-12-16T17:58:00.000-05:00

Things that make me miserable:

A sore throat that I thought was getting better but was really only going into hiding to execute a sneak attack at four am this morning, wherein I was awake and trying not to swallow for over an hour.
Not knowing where my Knowledge Ontario book/pamphlet is, which is terribly important to reducing the number of hours that I have to spend on my stupid advocacy paper.
The thought of cleaning my room. No, seriously, its really really bad right now.

Things that make me Not miserable:

Having friends come into town, who I don't have to entertain and don't seem to think it is anything out of the ordinary for me to be writing a paper two days before its due.
Jeff flying in from Halifax, and remarking, within ten minutes, that he thinks he might be stupid.** Which leads me onto the running joke, entitled: "Proving to my guidance counselor that I should recieve special compensation in academic matters because I was born stupid."
The opening scene of Troy where Brad Pitt kills the shit out of that big guy.

** I do not mean to insinuate in any way that I actually do think Jeff is stupid. We all know that I make the jokes about the hockey, but, really, he's a very smart kid.

2006-12-15T09:21:00.000-05:00

I went to an SLA (Special Libraries Association) Christmas Party munchies thing last night. I won my ticket by correctly answering who was going to be the president-elect in the upcoming year...you know, because I can google with the best of them. I won this weeks ago, long before I knew just exactly how busy these middle days of December were going to be. But, after the auction, Mike Mac was going, and that terrible sense of responsibility (I mean, someone else who wanted to could have gone, right, if I didn't?) would not just let me go home to watch the second part of The Lost Room. Actually, I'm really glad I went. My practicum supervisor, Frank, was there, and it was really nice to see him in a social situation. Also, he turns out to have a wicked wit. I spent my time observing the general meeting, barely retraining myself from laughing. See, this very large, very brightly dressed woman, started the meeting standing up against the wall. Everyone was sorta leaning up against a wall, or sitting in one of the few chairs, because, for some reason, the middle of the room was empty. Just carpet, no chairs. (Yes, I just sat down at the back. Being young and all.) But this one woman, who was already blocking the view of the people behind her, kept, I don't know...spreading out as the meeting went on. First, I could see three quarters of the front. Then, half, and then...yeah, I just nursed my water. But after, Frank just said, "would it have been rude to offer her my seat?" Sometimes you never know what you're going to get when you see your supervisors outside of work...I wish I had known earlier!

The auction went surprisingly well. Although the turn out was probably not what they were hoping for, we did manage to raise over $500. Which is nice for the kids and all, but really, I was fine with it after my book sold for $15.00. Mom had to go and rain on my parade and mention that really, it took longer than 3/4 of an hour to make, and considering my wage at my real job...all in all, it means I won't be quitting the commons any time soon.

Also, I'm sick. So if you see me today and happen to notice that I clearly slept on this ponytail and am talking like a deaf person, please blame it on the sore throat.

2006-12-13T14:14:00.000-05:00

Whenever I post something and then have second thoughts about it, I add another post really quickly. See, about the below, I like the stocking idea (because unlike some people I don't hate joy and love and Christmas and snow and hot chocolate...I'm talking to you Tasha), because its cute. And there seems to be something about the holidays that make me feel like, for a week or two, maybe its okay to be a little sentimental and maybe a little more friendly than normal. A lot of the time I just feel like, well, I'm mean to people. Or judgmental. Or, at least, not the way that I wish I could be. Not that, say Jesus or Santa Claus are particularly my behavioural icons, but maybe we can still take a few things nice from it all.

Are we surprised at the fact that I can be so ridiculously sappy? I am a girl, you know.

By the way, I did watch some kind of crap holiday special for 7Th Heaven. Holy mother of God. That was probably supposed to inspire some kind of nice feelings, but really, it just makes me want to kill people.

Also, I am donating a hand made book for the auction tomorrow and I'm a little nervous that no one is going to want to buy it. Or that it will go for, thirty cents. In which case I am bidding thirty five and taking it home with me. However, the thought of not donating something for want of my stupid fears, seemed entirely at odds with the Christmas spirit I am clearly trying so hard to embrace.

Besides, embarrassment only makes us stronger, right?

2006-12-11T18:37:00.000-05:00

We all know I cannot resist pyscho-analysis. I am wonderfully self-absorbed, so, of course, I love seeing how much tests "get me." However, after taking Alex's The Colour Quiz, I refuse to post my results.

This is because, well, I'm a baby and its my blog. But dude, this test is harsh. I mean, basically, it said...wait, should I quote from it? That would make my case more substantial, right? Let me grab something.

First result: Sensitive; needs esthetic surroundings, or an equally sensitive and understanding partner with whom to share a warm intimacy. Well, that sounds fine enough. I mean, sure, I'm a crier, and yeah, I'd like a partner who does make fun of me when I'm being touchy.

Second result: The existing situation is disagreeable. Feels lonely and uncertain as she has an unsatisfied need to ally herself with others whose standards are as high as her own, and wants to stand out from the rank and file. This sense of isolation magnifies the need into a compelling urge, all the more upsetting to her self-sufficiency because of the restraint she normally imposes on herself. Since she wants to demonstrate the unique quality of her own character, she tries to suppress this need for others and affects an attitude of unconcerned self-reliance to conceal her fear of inadequacy, treating those who criticize her behavior with contempt. However, beneath this assumption of indifference she really longs for the approval and esteem of others. Okay, Okay, I'll admit it. This strikes close to home. Fine, I make fun of people to make myself feel better. I'm a big bully. Happy? But really, come on, for the most part, I think I'm a pretty understanding and non-judgemental person. I mean, sure, I bitch, but my bark is much louder than my bite. And really? I admit my faults. Some of them are: I whine a lot, I'm bitchy when I don't get my way, and I expect people to know what I am thinking without me having to tell them. I think this makes me...human. And what existing situation? My life? In general? We were talking about relationships previously, is that what they mean? Can I get some clarity here?

Third Result: Disappointment and the fear that there is no point in formulating fresh goals have led to anxiety. Desires recognition and position, but is worried about her prospects. Reacts to this by protecting at any criticism and resisting any attempt to influence her. Tries to assert herself by meticulous control of detail in an effort to strengthen her position. Oh, frack off. Seriously? Do people buy this crap? Its not even English. "reacts to this by protecting at any criticism" Huh? What? I mean, I think I can take the spirit behind the words, but you lose all credibility with me when you publish something with grammatical errors. (Blogs, excluded of course) And I'm easily influenced. I offer these examples: I wanted a Mac and was talked out of it in one conversation. I never gave money to the homeless, but then was told that these are often the people that have been mistreated at homeless shelters, so now I've been known to. I never played poker till I dated a guy who did. I also never ate big breakfasts, till my current boyfriend got me onto it. I can't make a single decision on my own! Or apparently, I just do what my boyfriend's do. Which, I hope, if you know me, will realize is absolute bunk and I'm just being overdramatic.

Lame. I much prefer the IQ tests that tell me I'm a genius. So what if I've memorized the answers. That just means I'm smart and savvy. And have a great memory.

For the record, if you want the test, its at The Colour Quiz. Let me know if it ruins your day too.

2006-12-04T16:28:00.000-05:00

so, seeing as how my new hobby is book binding, I though I had better start attending the shows. Absolutely I spent part of my Sunday wandering around OCAD, looking at various books as art. Now, see, the thing is, I like books first and art second. What this means is that the book needs to be first an excellent example of technical skills (ex. excellent sewing, symmetry, solid construction) and less about, oh, odd materials and bizarre lay outs. For example, I love Robert Wu's work. The man says that it takes him about three months to make a single volume. Now, that is skill and dedication and it shows in the incredible works that he creates. And I would still consider his works works of art, despite not being made of plastic, or having weird cut outs, or oddly stitched spines. I did however come across several neat ideas, which I hope to put to use ASAP.

Actually, this weekend was great. Mike and Ciara are home for the holidays, and, after not seeing them for over a year, well, it felt really great to wander around Toronto with them. There is nothing like having good friends see where you exist to a) make it seem like no time has passed at all and b) excite you about your own life again. Several things that I have begun to take for granted were all made new with their enthusiasm. Plus, after a good afternoon chat, we headed down to Queen St. for some shopping, and, of course, ran into another good friend from undergrad. What are the chances? So, Becky, if you're reading this, send me a fricking email, cause you sure didn't call like you said you would. Besides, you can't show up with a handsome man and expect me not to ask questions and want answers, two years having passed or not.

a belgian secret

2006-11-28T22:56:00.000-05:00

Okay, so, after showing Court the other day my buttonhole book, and to very little praise, might I add, I've decided to post pictures of the second type of binding that I learned a few weekends ago. Above are two examples of "Secret Belgian Binding" that I've made at home the past week. I've pretty much created a monster, and if you ask, I will not admit the total monetary investment that I have made in my new hobby.

Now, the story behind the name is much less elusive than the name suggests (some librarian at some large library found an example of this type of binding in some basement box and, realizing it was from Belgium, said something along the lines of 'oh, you know those Belgians and their secrets,' as if this is some kind of known fact), this binding produces a simple and sturdy little book. I used chiogami paper for the cover of the smaller book and Japanese tissue paper for the cover of the larger. Both are bound with waxed linen thread. Each has eight leaves, are blank, and would be good for writing. Well, that's just my opinion.

I'm pretty proud of these little mofos. Please act surprised on Christmas.

Amazing Race 11? Best Season Ever?

2006-11-26T21:59:00.000-05:00

Okay, okay, I'll admit it. I watch Reality TV. I watch Survivor. In residence, I watched Temptation Island. With a dedication that was much greater than that turned towards my education. I even like The Apprentice, well, the first couple of seasons anyway.

But the show I really like is Amazing Race. Last season, I gave my heart to the Hippies. I love love love them. And I was so glad that they won $1 million. But, they aren't my favourite team. My favourite team was...ready?...Rob and Amber. Damn, they were awesome. Rob was just so good at the game. And Amber, well, she's pretty. But the thing is: they actually communicated like a couple. They never fought, they encouraged each other, they were partners. Unlike some teams that made me cringe in my comfy sofa chair when watching.

What is the point of this? That there's going to be an All Star edition of Amazing Race. Next Spring. And Rob and Amber are confirmed. No word on my hippies yet, but I have not given up hope. I promise you, I will be watching every single second.

Also, I just watched the preview for the next episode of Veronica Mars. (Thanks a lot Alex, you tease!) Better than Christmas.

Talent, Lifer or Mandarin?

2006-11-21T16:27:00.000-05:00

I'm a Mandarin!

You're an intellectual, and you've worked hard to get where you are now. You're a strong believer in education, and you think many of the world's problems could be solved if people were more informed and more rational. You have no tolerance for sloppy or lazy thinking. It frustrates you when people who are ignorant or dishonest rise to positions of power. You believe that people can make a difference in the world, and you're determined to try.

Talent: 46%
Lifer: 44%
Mandarin: 54%

Take the Talent, Lifer, or Mandarin quiz.

of course, the problem with all of this is the simple fact that I still don't really know what a Mandarin is. The orange? The language? Some juicy language drink?

Al Schmore

2006-11-21T12:17:00.000-05:00

I think we might be getting suckered. By Al Gore. Whom everyone seems to think is some kind of hero because he's the star of the supposedly eco-friendly documentary "An Inconvienient Truth." I hate this movie. Not because its boring (which it is) or because it lacks flashing editing (which it does), but because it just doesn't make sense.

Al Gore drives around in an SUV. He jetsets across the world. Talk about two polluting forms of travel. Heck, his family money comes tabacco and cattle farming, two of the most environmentally invasive crops (well, if cattle are grown) known to the world. hello methane! Although he talks the talk, he does very little walking. What I would have loved to see is him jumping in his hybrid, or, heaven forbid, taking public transit. If he's going to set an example, he could at least do so for the span of the movie. Now, I know you are going to say that's he's been involved with this cause (cause?) for decades. I don't care. It means even less to me if someone preaches and then keeps on sinning.

Also, dude, what's with those graphs? They don't even have axis labels! It means nothing without values! Please. I've taken intro to statistics. I know my shit. Also, its lovely to present temperature graphs for the last millenium (which is, I know, all we've got) but seriously. The world is what? Billions of years old? Its a little difficult to conclusively prove anything with such limited scale. I get it, its the best we can do. But still. I know, I am making myself sound like a sceptic. I am not. I truly believe that human beings are doing terrible things to the planet. I really do think that we need to lessen the impact of our foot prints. I do think that we are going to end up killing our species and probably take along a lot of other species with us. Deep down, I'm even terrified that this is going to happen within the next couple of generations. Or our generation. Or tomorrow. What I dislike are silly graphs that don't really reflect anything. Graphs are just too easy to manipulate.

But I am really sick that Al Gore gets all the credit for being some kind of environmental advocacy genius when there's tonnes of hardworking Americans/Canadians who have spent lifetimes dedicated to actually living what they believe. They are the examples. Not the man who "used to be the next president of the United States." Which is a line that should have been absolutely hilarious and which he couldn't even pull off. I know I was supposed to laugh, but I just couldn't.

Now, all that being said, at least this movie has gotten people talking. Which is so much better than nothing at all, especially if it leads to greater awareness and to more action towards reduction. Even more so if it leads to cleaner energy sources. I mean, we aren't all bad. Life expectancy is high, diseases are being cured, technology is rampant...we just need to work on creating more balance. And no, I have no idea how that will actually happen.

2006-11-20T17:49:00.000-05:00

My faculty is having an auction for charity this year. I actually think its a great idea. We are all asked to donate things to be auctionned off. for myself, having just learned to bind books (okay, only two styles), I am going to donate one of those. They are homemade, yes, but they look great. My room mate is donating view master slides of the Library of Congress. She bought them on ebay. After hearing about the auction, our book binding session leader offered us a spot in one of her workshops. I really love the idea, especially at Christmas, of giving a little something to people who do not have so much.

But what I do not like is the choice of charity that the faculty made. We are donating the profits to Sick Kids. I get it: no one likes a sick child. i know. but. they are a huge corporation with a huge budget for fundraising and for raising public awareness of the funds they need. And, they often pay their fundraisers. what, you think those people with the binders on every street corner are doing it out of the goodness of their hearts? I think not. My point is this. They have fundraisers. Could we not have chosen a charity that perhaps needed the assistance a little more? A local charity? Perhaps even one related to libraries? I would even feel better if we were donating a collection of books to the Sick Kids library. Or, we could subscribe to an electronic database on behalf of one of the public libraries. Or we could donate to Librarians Without Borders, a venture launched by students at the Western. We could have done something that was a little more in tune with, well, us. It would be nice to see library students raising awareness , and advocating for, library needs and library users. who knew I was so keen, hey?

That being said, Sick Kids is a better charity than no charity, and I am happy to help out.

2006-11-16T14:06:00.000-05:00

we lost our semi-finals volleyball game last night. we got beat pretty bad. they were so good, it was like not only were they hitting the ball back to us, hard, they were placing it as well. see, you can be okay volleyball (me), very good at volleyball (half our team), and excellent at volleyball (michelle and chris). I just pray the ball goes back over to the other side. Michelle and Chris make it look very very easy. and pretty. I am so so jealous. the other team, last night, was of this caliber. meh, maybe not. they had this one guy who spiked it so hard, I had to be impressed. and one guy, you in the red shirt I am looking at you...he could just see it and place it wherever. that kind of skill requires admiration. it was funny too, cause he wasn't tall or super athletic. he was just smart. which, really, is the most dangerous kind of athlete of all.

Tonight, Jarrod and I are meeting my parents for Korean Barbecue. It is perhaps the most delicious experience on the planet. well, other than gorging one's self at mandarin, but my recent clothes shopping experience has pretty much kiboshed that for the near future. basically, you sit at a table with a grill in the middle of it. and then you proceed to cook your own meat. its all you can eat, its delicious, and its fresh. now, you can upgrade to lamb and shrimp, however, really, all you want is the chicken and beef. so don't do it. you'll be stuffed. and somehow, since it isn't carbs, you don't feel to stuffed. just that heavy kind of full that isn't all that bad.

2006-11-15T14:26:00.001-05:00

We recieved in our inbox today an email about a new decision: the admissions committee for the Faculty of Information Studies, University of Toronto is debating whether or not to add a student to the "deciding who gets in" mix. We were asked to, informally, choose whethe we were yay or nay on having a student representative on the committee.

I do not think that there should be a student on the admissions committee. At first glance, there seems to many reasons why a student should be on the committee. They are the ones who are experiencing the process--they are fresh out of school, they are living the challenges of applications, they know how difficult it is to attain a certain academic schedule while maintaining other aspects of life. Having been there, and quite recently, it seems to make sense that a student would be a welcome addition to the admissions committee.

Unfortunately, it is for precisely those reasons that a student would be a terrible idea. My fellow students are no more qualified to choose who enters our program than I am. I am quite happy to leave it to professors (who are interested in being on the committee, but that's a whole other can of worms) with experience, both in life and in education, to choose who enters the program. I have to think they might know a little something more than us.

Also, the point was suggested that perhaps we should get used to peer to peer evaluation. Which is absolutely true. If we were evaluating professional articles set to paper with the intention of being reviewed. This is personal character that we are talking about, private things that need not be made public and that need not be known by peers. There is a difference between personal scholarship and private reference letters, private appeals for acceptance, and of course, personal grade transcripts (especially from that year in res where no school work was done!). The committee is not around for Pub Nights, or study groups, the committee is a professional group, not of peers, but of superiors.

Someone suggested that the acceptance process was akin to the hiring process and that this would be good experience for one's future professional life. However, there are a few major differences. 1) You are not hired by your fellow level one employees. You are hired by someone who is ahead of you, who's been through it before. 2) The manager who does the hiring, or the department, is trained to do so. Plus, they have their own professional reputation to maintain. Their employees are a reflection of themselves and they could be putting their own reputation on the line when hiring. This is also exactly why I hate group work as students. There is no chain of command, no "boss," no "project manager," there is no one to ensure someone stays on track because it will be their butt if someone does not. If we want to talk about the real world, let's talk about professional reputation, being called on bullshit, and being fired. Okay, I can't talk about group work anymore without, oh, still wanting to kill members of previous groups for being so unbelievably selfish. Christmas, this year, you will be enjoyed.

The word 'authority' is extremely important in these situations. This whole situation is about authority and responsibility. A student does not have the right qualifications or the right distance or the right standing in the hierarchy of education to make these decisions. And everyone in the room will know it: Do we honestly think that student's voice is going to outweigh a professor's? A long time administrator's? It will not. Now, that's the real world for you. What are we imagining: sending in some charismatic twenty something to defend our rights to personality? Seriously.

What could be more powerful in this situation is a statement prepared by students that details what exactly they are looking for in fellow students. Bright, dynamic personalities, whose heads filled with practical know how and dedication to studies. But, also, someone who will make a trustworthy and informed information professional. How do you tell all of that from paper? You can't. And that is the real issue here. Not who does the choosing, but how we apply. Why not have an interview process? Why not submit something a little bit more creative? Why don't we get to show ourselves a little bit more?

Isn't this the root of the problem? That we want the people in power to know that there is more to us than transcripts or job experience. If we want change, we need it where it matters. Not a superficial band aid that causes more controversy than any one program needs.

Hallowe'en, Part Deux

2006-11-05T14:06:00.000-05:00

These pictures, of course, should have been added a week ago. However, it never seemed to work out that I had my memory card and a lap top at the same time. now though, sitting at my parents place, doing laundry and waiting for them to get back from their walk, i not only have the card, access to a computer, but, and get this, i actually have the time to write a little something. i know, its crazy shocking.

see, now, when I first saw Heather in her costume, I got it totally wrong. Well, I mean, I got the fifties prim and proper housewife part right, but see, I thought she cut off her own hand and just proceeded to bake it, because, well, baking is what good wives do. But, in truth, it was a slightly more sinister. See, she had cut off someone else's hand and baked it. This is obviously a much better story. She won for the best costume, which, of course, is excellent.

This is robin being entirely unimpressed with her boyfriend, kirk, who's resting a glass on her head. She's dressed as Dorothy, which is entirely appropriate for her cute little self. Of course, she had to compete with another Dorothy, who was called, rather appropriately "Whore-thy" for the evening due to the shortness of the skirt and the prescence of garters. At a library party. I am not sure I will ever understand the notion of "sexy" hallowe'en costumes. The whole point is to dress up as something other than one's self, and well, if you dress up as a whore, I think it might be because, and this is a shocker, you're a whore. Just because its Hallowe'en, you aren't tricking anyone else into thinking anything other, so, really, you little slutty girls, you're just a treat and no trick at all. Which is just so terribly boring. I think that's why it bugs me so much. You have this opprotunity to do something funny or clever or different...and so many people just march to the beat of average.

This is, of course, Jarrod as a "space banker." The pictures of this costume really turn out excellently, even if no one else knew what he was. As far as costumes go, his was certainly unique. Thank heavens. If Jarrod had pulled "sexy space banker" I am not really sure what I would have done.

This is me as a zombie prom queen. I'm clearly attaching two people, who, instead of looking frightening, just look like they are humouring. Do they not understand that I'm a zombie? That I suck the life out of people and spit them out just wandering shells of their previous selves? That's some scary shit and they just aren't feeling it.

Hallowe'en was actually a pretty good time this year. As always, I left the costumes till the last minute. And I spent more money than I had expected to. (So if you see me with a plastic cup and coffee from home, you now know why.) But, we got two nights out of our costumes, which seems to make it a better bargain. I do not have any pictures from the second night, at The Sean Ward Show, because, although I brought my camera, I forgot the memory card. Story of my life.

2006-11-02T15:23:00.000-05:00

okay, i am considering something. that something is more school. are you shocked? you know, seeing as how i'm twenty five and haven't really not been in school yet. but, for a while there, i really thought that this year was it.

but, well, i've decided that i want to be a "digital services librarian." this means that i'll be taking on the responsibility of maintaining and developing the technologies that my library uses, everything from webpages to learning sessions to implementing new services and products. I want to be "that guy" who knows what she's doing. and to get there, to be self-sufficient, i am simply going to need more skills. its like i'm a skills junkie: i got my first taste with cataloguing, then with SQL, now...its all about the web. so, this is what i am thinking: Humber College, six months, $5900, Web Development Certificate.

Is this ridiculous? Can't I learn the skills on my own? and the answer, sadly, is no, i cannot. sure, i can do the basics, case in point, the header on this blog. but, i don't really 'get it.' and i want to. i'd like to. and i think that might be my real motivation. i would like to do it. it would make me feel pleased and proud of myself.

plus, i have all of these dreams of freelancing and pulling in some extra moola. and learning how to use a mac. for the real reasons: graphic design.

i am weighing ups and downs, worrying about job prospects, wondering what it is that i actually want to do with that whole thing called life.

pretty much, i have no idea.

2006-10-27T10:37:00.000-04:00

You know what I hate about hallowe’en? The costumes. Yep, I hate them. Not because I think its silly or because I’m a adult, but, because, the good ones are so damn expensive. I mean, last year, jarrod and I went out as hicks. I was pregnant with a magnum of wine, he wore a beater and a flip flops with socks. We both wore mullet wigs. And talked in southern drawl. (it got worse as the night went on) but the wigs were each twenty bucks. For wigs! And the rest of the costume we made ourselves. And by made, I mean, were shocked when we discovered how easily our wardrobes suited being trailer trash. And this was our “cheap” costume. Originally, we had ideas about renting costumes from Malabar. Which is just stupid. If you could even get in the door, who would want to pay a hundred bucks for one night of costume renting?

I blame this on my new thrifty side. I will admit it. This summer was pretty rough. Financially. In every other way, it was great. But, having no money coming in, and worse, no savings to fall back on (education shmeducation), really meant that I was pinching the proverbial pennies. And suddenly, all the Larsh went out of me and I was filled with the McIntosh spirit. Its like I am possessed. I can feel myself being miserly. I’ll debate on whether to buy a really great book. In the past, I’d have bought the good book, the book beside it, and another, just to make sure I had my tastes covered. Its certainly a shock, let me tell you.

And this year, come hallowe’en, it’s the same all over again. I love the though of dressing up and I hate the thought of doing it. I remember during my undergrad, dressing up as a baby and my girlfriends killing themselves laughing at me because I hadn’t spent a cent on the costume. I mean, what’s the point? I am going to get drunk and fall down. I might as well be doing it in old pyjamas rather than some slutty dress that I want my deposit back on.

So, tonight, when it comes to dressing up, I guarantee I will be one of these things: a gypsy, a hippie, an old lady, or a baby. I hate all of these costumes equally. Maybe that’s why I am driven to the drink.

And damn it, I know I can’t compete with a tyranawhorus sex.

oh, and i just thought the shark was funny.

2006-10-24T00:04:00.000-04:00

i am always surprised to find where hate shows up. see, i moved into this apartment thinking i would hate lee's palace. i don't hate lee's palace. the other night, robin was in here, and after about an hour of chatting she looked at me and was like, "hey, when did the music start?" neither of us had noticed. but, it turns out, the people that i hate are the tenants upstairs. they are jocks. they are loud. they play music at all hours of the day. and night. the other day, while reading in my room, i heard one guy go, "yeah, dude, let's watch some porn. what channel is it again?" and then three or four other male voices all yelled, "39!" glad to know there is some self love going on upstairs cause i sure ain't hearing the ladies very often.

i finally feel like i have my room organized. i moved the closet bar waaaay up high (i can barely hang things on it) and i can get right into my closet. this has served to open up the room immeasurably. I was not inclinded to give my sliding-over-the-bed table, and, in order to still be able to, oh, i don't know, walk around the room, i had to move the dresser. we're not living in a big space here, jarrod and i, but it sure is feeling a lot bigger now.

2006-10-19T21:03:00.000-04:00

i've had a very excitign couple of days. yesterday, at my practicum, i made a shocking discovery. the almanac that i was cataloguing was not actually missing pages. no, indeed, the pages were complete, they were just, get this, mis-numbered. and me, being the sleuth that i am, figured out that the pagination was just fine if you counted, but not if you actually looked at the number printers. fortunately, i had another copy with which to compare and to prove my shocking results.

i am being completely serious. this totally made my day.

see, i feel like there might be people out there who might question my dedication to this profession or my natural inclination. even though i detest school, and lectures, and papers, and discussion, i do truly love this profession. i just need days like yesterday every once in a while to remember it.

lest you think i've totally changed stripes, i did spend the day chatting on gmail with my favourite online compatriots, kristen and tasha, who, of course kept me abreast of the fact that lindsay lohan is corrupting rumer willis (is anyone else surprised that she isn't more good lookin'?) and that some paramour's are just not worth the effort. or the email.

right now, this second, i am taking a brief pause from my advocacy report. or powerpoint. i'm working with a partner from western, which has actually turned out pretty well despite my worries, and its her turn to look things over. when she sends it back, i have to do a audio recording.

i am afraid i am going say either "god mother fucking damn this course is terrible" or "like*" (in a valley girl type tone). these two fears are equal, because, well, i don't have control over my mouth when i say either of those things.

i will maintain that it was not my fault.

2006-10-12T12:10:00.000-04:00

i know, i know, its been a while. and you've missed me terribly. i know. i promise to be better in the future. see, the great thing about this blog is that i can make promises like that. and then not keep them. with no repercussions, except that i feel mildly bad.

so, these past few weeks have been busy. busy to the point where i feel like if one more thing falls on my plate then i will just start crying. its been a stressful time for the whole family, with dad's illness, with moving, with everything...there just don't seem to be enough hours in the day. this is how i know that i am all grown up, because i say things like, "there just aren't enough hours in a day." i also offer this example of grown upness. yesterday, a friend mentionned that she got stuck in a corridor without a pass card and could not get out. all the doors required security clearance, which she did not have. i, of course, was shocked and said, "well, that's such a safety hazard!" yes, that is what i said. i went on about how unsafe it was to have a situation wherein people get stuck. fortunately, someone else came through the door. with a pass. otherwise maybe there'd be a party in there by now. (hey! party...maybe i am young still!)

i have managed to hurt my thumbs. one of the guys at work roped (and by roped i mean, mentionned, and i jumped at the chance) into playing intermural co-ed volleyball. its a total blast. its not too serious, but serious enough that you are excited when you win or when you make a good play. just my level. it also feels good to get out and do something physical, something other than just solo running. which actually i should be doing as well. i've pulled out of the race, but annetta is running in my spot. i think i might still tell people i am running so that they'll be uber impressed with my time. i am still going to go out and cheer for her! go annetta go! i don't know what she's been eating for breakfast to have all her motivation, but i give her a lot of credit for it. we're playing ultimate frisbee intramurally as well, and i am going to bust out my carleton ultimate show for intimidation. but then they'll expect some skill from me.

the new place is alright. actually, its great. there was a while there when i could not even write about it. i was upset with the moving process, i felt so bad for robin (who kinda got swept up in the tide of alli-planning, which is never a good place to be), i was adjusting to the noise (thank you lee's palace), there were so many other things to just "get done." but now, it feels like home. both robin and jarrod have put so much time and effort into our place that, although it is not perfect, it is the best home. i have never seen jarrod so much in his element, and that is pretty priceless to me. especially since i plan on dragging him across the country next year, wherever my employment takes me. thank you tasha for making me think way too much about that!

also, that jacket that i invested in at lululemon. totally worth it. i've been caught riding my bike in the rain no less than five times since i bought it.

2006-09-27T21:11:00.000-04:00

its here. today, it came. i've been waiting all week for the packages to complete jarrod's birthday present, but, unfortunately (i am smiling inside because i'm a terrible person), it was my little present to myself that came first. and by present, i mean, classic switcheroo. dad wanted to be able to listen to some music to pass the time, and since the new ipods were only available online and he'd have to wait, so, i gave him mine. now, i'm sticking my bazillions of gigs back onto my itunes. please don't ask me why i have to do this. oh, okay, since you begged. i moved my folders around. and of course, itunes can't keep up, so i have to add everything again. and its taking a long long time.

we've booked movers for this weekend. i have to admit, the thought of moving all of this stuff, again, keeps me up at night. i wasn't sure how to get it done, i wasn't sure who i could impose on to help me, it just...stressed me out. and frankly, i have enough to worry about without worrying about moving. so, i booked movers. seriously. oh, we're still doing a lot of grunt work on sunday, moving boxes) but we're leaving the beds and the book shelves and the couches for the men. yes, i said it. the men. who have man strength. for lifting. and i will watch them, with a coffee, and think to myself about how this is the best money that i have ever possibly spent. especially since it is being split four ways.

censoring myself

2006-09-19T21:29:00.000-04:00

bowing to friendly pressure, i've removed my address from my resume. see, both my mother and my aunt has previously pointed this out to me. i, stubborn wench that i am, shot back that, well, you could also find me in the phone book. after a fellow blogger commented that i was just tempting fate (actually that's completely putting words in his mouth but i think the message remains the same), i've removed the more personal of the personal information on this blog.

it brings up though issues of false familiarity for me. this blog is read almost exclusively by my friends and family and i suppose this makes me feel very safe. i completely forget the anonymity that the web provides, and really, the number of lurkers that love the blogosphere. i suppose its just about playing safe. i would hate it if something bad came out of this.

on an up note, both of my classes finished early today, i got my first choice for my practicum (at the library in the archives of ontario), and i even treated myself to some french fries and a hot dog for dinner. oh sure, the running ain't happening, but, with jarrod's new shift, canada's wonderland (does anyone want to go? there's discount tickets at pharma plus! come!) this saturday, and other things looking up, i feel pretty okay about perhaps backing out. if i did, it would only serve to give me even more motivation to run one in the spring. so, we'll see.

grease monkey

2006-09-19T00:10:00.000-04:00

there are a few things that i have been meaning to blog about. but, you know, life is busy and my down time, which was work, is now busy as bees, and i just don't have the time to blog. time like i would like to. time to talk about things such as how i have decided that shampoo and i must end our twenty five year relationship. see, it started when i got back from scotland. somehow, most of the shampoo was gone. and you know how it is, you squeeze out the last couple days a wee bit longer than you should. and then, you make the dramatic announcement that maybe, well, maybe you don't need shampoo at all.

and then your cousin mentions that you are far from the first person to do such a thing. indeed, read this for background. basically, its a few different women who have experimented with not washing their hair. i guess the basic idea is that we strip our hair's natural oils and then replace them with conditioner. so, if you remove the shampoo, your hair should regulate itself. the below pictures were taken about three weeks in (its been over four now) and i use them to demonstrate that yes, my hair did increase in curliness. it also increased in greasiness, but, fortunately that seems to be subsiding. for a while there, i could barely stand to touch my roots and i admit that on a few occasions i wore headscarves. but, there is something about this dirty experiment that appealed to a very weird part of me: the same part that was appealed when jeanetta challenged me, while camping, to go without brushing my teeth. i dunno. i guess i just ain't a lady.

i don't think it looks dirty...i think it actually looks a lot less frizzy. even thicker. for the record, i hate my hair. i think its mousy, its going grey but not enough to be attractive, and, well, its terribly thin. i used to be paranoid that i was balding, but, it doesn't seem to be getting any worse. so, basically, i was willing to try just about anything to make it look prettier. i am actually quite happy with it. my dirty little secret, is, of course, that somewhere along the line i've stopped brushing it too. oops.

le weekend de le "party"

2006-09-18T17:46:00.000-04:00

its monday and i feel more tired than i usually do on fridays. i think i need a weekend to recover from my weekend.

first of all, kristen visited. now, i was expecting a fun time. of course i was. but i was not expecting such a busy fun time! on friday, i worked till eight, and then met tasha, annetta, alex, lorien and dave. you can judge by the number of highlighted names that it was a bit of a mini-blogging conference. there was a whole lot of "arpha.org!" and "princess awesome" (which refere to, of course, our blogging personas. it was nerdy. and it was hella fun. the night just kept on getting better. a great pub night, where jarrod joined us, and, dare i say it, i think he actually had a really fun time out with us. kristen has a gift for drawing out the quiet folk. i remember looking in the mirror, after a pint or two, i'll admit, thinking what a great time i was having because all the people i love were around, in great moods, and at the start of a weekend.

on saturday, the girls and i spent the day at the clothing sale, held at the automotive building at exhibition place. of course, i thought it was at the convention centre, so i dragged kristen there and left a message for stephanie and eddy saying that was where it was. there are times, truly, when i get my lines crossed. however, we made up for lost time (some of us more than others!) and each scored, i do believe, deals of the year. for instance, i got:

now, i have been looking for a vintage-y beaded purse for years. my mom has this beautiful one that was her grandmother's. actually, she let me use it once, for mike and ciara's wedding. and i was so worried about it that i could barely use it. and then i even worried about it while it was just sitting up in my hotel room. sometimes i take responsibility very seriously.

i also got:

a pink hat and a gold beaded necklace. now, i am not sure how it is that i ended up with two beaded and gold things, but i love love love them.

of course, this post could not end without mention of kristen and her mink. her exact words, as she shrugged into the beast were, breathlessly, "oh, tell me how much this is and give me a fantastic price because i am just dying to buy it!" and the lady gave her a great price and boy did she buy it. as she ran to the ATM, i just smiled, looked the lady in the eye and said, "you should see her with men!" i think we made her day. but, its only fair, because she made ours.

i think she's trying to show canadian spirit, with the flag and all. i am not sure robin knows what to make of her, but truly, that is a very significant part of her charm. thank you for visiting kristen, and for being hilarious and fun, and of course, for inviting me to the big city. which i will one day take her up on. and by one day, i mean very soon.

**and we did pee in a field, but only because we really really had to and it was a long long walk.

2006-09-08T09:15:00.000-04:00

dear drivers in toronto,

i realize that your morning commute is stressful. its busy and you're late and you're trying to drink your coffee. there's one way streets and pedestrians, not to mention other drivers. but, in all the business of the morning, please take the time to remember you are sharing the road: with cyclists. i know, i know, you have all the power. you're big, you're motorized, and you have the protection of your windows. my little bell is nothing compared to your horn. i know all of this, but still, i am asking for a little condsideration.

for instance, on select roads, there are bike paths. these bike paths are just like your roads: but for bikes. can you imagine if you were driving down the street and your road was blocked? how angry and irate would you be? but, this happens all the time. a bike path is not a convienient place to pull over while you drop your grandmother off. it is not the place to pick up a fare if you are a cab driver. and fedex, damn it, get smaller trucks or get off toronto streets. what all of you drivers seem to forget is that you are going to win in a fight. you'll cream us. this is why we need that little bit of space. after all, we're commuting too. and we're also late. and we've left an extra ten minutes to grab a coffee but that isn't going to happen if i have to keep dodging cars.

also, when turning corners: please remember to leave room for a bike to pass you. don't hug the curb so tightly that we have to jump the curb and scare pedestrians. just think a head a little, check your rear view. cyclists are a part of the culture in downtown toronto. whether you like us or not, you should be grateful that we aren't also driving cars and making your commute even longer and more stressful. if you'd like an experiment, try riding your bike yourself one day and experience the fear and stress of riding alongside unpredicatable drivers.

i understand that we have made different commuting choices and that, indeed, we feel quite a bit of animosity towards the other. however, i promise to obey all the traffic laws i can, if you simply try to grant us a little space. hopefully, you can stop complaining about how ridiculous cyclists can be and i'll stop bitching about how oblivious drivers are. it'll be perfect.

thank you for your time!

alli

ps to all of you pedestrians who keep putting garbage in my bike basket: you'll get your letter soon. you mofos. its still littering! if i see you, i will sterilize you. yes, that is a threat. i think you're pathetic lazy scum. (maybe i don't need a whole letter.)

dude, hold the coffee

2006-09-07T18:59:00.000-04:00

it is a standard rule of libraries, i do believe, worldwide, that you are not allowed to either eat or drink within spilling or crumb distance of the materials. of course, this rule is entirely not binding of library staff. this is because we like to flaunt our obvious superiority. not only do we know the methodolgy behind dewey, we also get to drink our coffee and eat our muffins.

the cafeteria is located on a different floor than the helpdesk. so, some traveling occurs. i always, always (well, most of the time) obey the rule to use the stairs rather than the escalator. its a rule, i don't know, librarians aren't always understandable. i headed for the stairs, while my walking partner headed the opposite way around the median in the middle of the hallway. i remarked to him, in a normal speaking voice, that i was surprised he wasn't told to take the stairs, as, usually, i was told to. he laughed and we proceeded down the stairs.

chatting, we walked towards our place of work. about twenty feet away, in front of us, i heard a girl go "where do you think you are going?" (and in a rather snide and snippy voice.) i didn't answer, in fact, i looked behind me to see if she was talking to someone else. when i realized she was indeed looking at us, i looked at jamal, thinking that she must know her. when i finally realized that she was talking to us and that neither of us knew her, i kinda gave her that shrug, and went, "uh, over there." (pointing to the help desk) she replied, "you're not allowed to have drinks in here, so..." and i looked at her and went, "we work here." she said, "well, i heard you two plotting about sneaking drinks down here." and so i said, "look, we were work here. i was joking because they always tell us to take the stairs." bitch. it was one of those times where i could tell that she was looking at us, wishing she could say something the whole way down the escalator (which she could take since she didn't have a coffee, which was probably the whole problem), and promising herself that if she did see us, she'd damn well say something because the sanctity of robart's library rests on her shoulders.

the best part: helping with registration today, she registered as a first year student. i think she even blushed when she saw me. you know, when she saw who i was. an upper year student. with friends. so intimidating. i might laugh about it with her later, but for now, i think a simple "excuse me, but drinks aren't allowed in the library" would have sufficed. clearly, i'm still bitter that i got yelled at.

when counting sheep fails

2006-09-04T01:52:00.000-04:00

i am a chronic sleeper. if i have an hour or two off, chances are, you can find me napping. sometimes i'll give the pretense of reading, but mostly, its sleeping that i'm up to. so, its very unusual to find me not sleeping at two in the morning. i am never stuck by insomnia. i am asleep, usually, by the time my head hits the pillow. its rather disconcerting that right now, i am still awake. coming back from the cottage, i expected to be asleep, oh, about four hours ago. but, i'm not.

i realize that there are a lot of things going on right now. work, school, moving, illness, at the best of times september means business, and now, for me, this year, its even more than busy. i feel like there are nine million things for me to do and i want to do everything so well and yet i just feel tired all of the time (which makes it even worse that i am not asleep right now). i am not used to stress. i am usually such a good planner that well, i don't plan for any stress time.

we came home a day early from the cottage and i am beginning to regret that decision. i love the cottage. but the weather was terrible. and i am sore all over from pathetic attempts to wakeboard. jeff makes it look easy peasy, but for this old girl, it cause nothing but incredibly sore back muscles. fortunately, i beat jeff where it counts: on the scrabble board. and he did boost my spirits by saying that i was a great wakeboard boat driver (take that uncle john!). but all i really wanted was to get up on that damn board. maybe next summer. i say next summer rather than next time, because, well, because the motor on our boat caught on fire today. yep, it was smoking. literally. we had to have two old rugged fishermen to tow us back to our dock. i say rugged because at least three times, the older one said, "in my forty three years on this lake..." and i figure that anyone who has been in one place for forty three years, and if that one place is a lake, that qualifies you are rugged. the man was so informed that when my dad warned him of a dangerous rock near our dock, he uttered his catch phrase. apparently, he knows intimately all the rocks on our rather large lake. i wasn't going to insult him though, he saved us a whole heck of a lot of paddling. and for that, i am grateful.

the visit was seriously spiced up by the quinn family. i don't know what it is, but as we get older, our family because exponentially funnier. i don't think i have laughed so hard at some many different things in a long time. i wasn't even drinking. much. i know they made mom's birthday extra special, and in times like these, well, making good memories seems even more important. that was extremely sentimental, but well, like i said, i don't do well with insomnia and so i think i should be able to multiply mine. you know, for a normal person this is nothing, but for me, its like i've been awake for weeks. i am simply not in my right mind. i just love everyone.

down to the wire

2006-08-29T17:11:00.000-04:00

i don't like to be busy. some people seem to thrive on it. they get nine million things accomplished in one day, whereas i get done about one thing a month. i like to have my weekends off. this means sleeping in, without guilt, cooking a nice breakfast (well, jarrod cooks it but i eat it), maybe doing some reading or running some errands (such as going to the book store or getting a coffee). i loooove lazy days. therefore, the past couple weeks, which have been extremely busy for me, aren't sitting all that well. in fact, i would even call them contrary to my nature. like petting hair the wrong way.

i've got quite a bit of work to do in the next 48 hours. for example, i have two hundred images left to index, out of a thousand. how is that possible you ask? what have i been doing for the last month? honestly, i am not sure why it has taken me this long. each image is about ten minutes of work, with all the copying and pasting and checking and verifying. and, if i find a mistake, or i need to add another key word, well, that just sets the whole process back. i did as much planning as i possibly could...and for a while there, i couldn't see the end. but, now i can. and i have a goal of doing the indexing for seventy five images before my head hits the pillow tonight. the boys will be watching back episodes of BSG, so i'll have company and background noise. its like paper writing season--its crunch time. and boy, do i ever do well in a crunch. you need someone in a high pressure situation, i am your girl.

so, if you're looking for me, you can limit your search to places with wireless internet, extra large coffees, and some sort of ginger cookie. i'll be there all day.

books that....

2006-08-23T11:30:00.000-04:00

1. A book that changed your life.

i would have to go with sofie's world by jostein gaarder. i was sixteen and amazed and thought philosophy would be the way that i could finally figure out my place in the world. i was wrong, but i didn't realize that until after completing a four year philosophy degree at carleton.

2. A book you've read more than once.

i have read several books more than once. my mom doesn't get it...she thinks that it is like a movie, once you know the ending, what's the point? but, i'm a last page first kinda girl, and i love getting there just as much as the ending itself. the book that i read most often will already be featured on this list as the book that makes me cry out loud, so, others that i've been caught reading more than once is the discovery of heaven by harry muslisch, for the male banter, the fantasty trilogies by melanie rawn (i don't even know why, i'm a sucker for a love story) and books by gabriel garcia marquez, because, well, i can barely keep the characters straight at any time, let alone months after i've read them (and i'm usually really good at that!).

3. A book you'd want on a desert island.

this one is tough. do i want something big and bulky? short and sweet? a whole series, perhaps? honestly, i'd take steven erikson's series. its big, its complex, its stimulating, it has a wide range of characters and emotions, it has it all. i'd like to say i'd take nietzsche or something suitably thought provoking, but, if i'm going to be on a desert island, i think i'd like to enjoy myself a little.

4. A book that made you giddy.
giddy? has a book made me giddy? if one has, i can't remember it.

5. A book that you wish had been written.

i wish i had written the adventures of kavalier and clay. its not my favourite book of all time, though it is up there, but, it is what i think a book should be. incredibly human characters that make lives for themselves, who make good and bad choices, who redeem and are redeemed, and then who fall all over again. it has an intriguing story, its set within one of the most interesting times of the modern era (WWII). i think it a book written for other writers. sometimes you get books that are written beautifully, but which you cannot read more than twenty pages at a time (i am thinking of you anne michaels and michael ondaatje). the stories pass from your mind, much the way that poetry is hard to remember. its the phrasing, the expression that is important. these books are beautiful, but they do not satisfy my urge to read. kavalier and clay, however, has the potent combination of beautiful writing with a story that is almost tangible. i mean, i am pretty sure these characters were real people. and that i've met them.

6. A book that wracked you with sobs.

hands down, the lions of al rassan by guy gavriel kay. i remember being at the cottage, reading this book for about the sixth time, coming outside, tears streaming, and my mom asking me what was wrong. nothing was wrong, except that one of the best men the book world has ever seen...well, i won't ruin the ending for you, but i am sure you can see where this is going.

7. A book you wish had never been written.

i am not sure if i wish any books had not been written. i mean, even if its not my taste, i don't believe that any books are inherently bad. i mean, i have whole genres of literature that i cannot read (for instance, i do not think virginia wolff is great writer, nor have i ever been able to read a full novel of hers, despite multiple tries), but i am glad they exist. i could take the easy route and go mein kampf or something, but i still think that censorship is more damaging than the book itself.

8. A book you are currently reading.

what am i currently reading? charlotte gray, by sebastian faulks. the mineral palace, by an author i cannot remember. reader's digest, because i like the jokes and the articles infuriate me to the point that i feel like i do actually care about what happens to the world. on beauty, by sadie something or other. that one's really good, too. i like books that a) are about the stuggles of emigration (usually concerning the indian disapora, british colonialism, or african genocide...very cheerful, but the stories are so powerful) or b) dysfunctional families that somehow make it work (more cheerful, but less poignant).

9. A book you've been meaning to read.

there are several. freakonomics. suite francaise (but it may be too much like virginia wolff for me). persian fire. i have several books that i've ordered form amazon.ca that i just haven't had a chance to read yet. but i have time.

2006-08-22T21:12:00.000-04:00

this is turning out to be a terribly sporadic series of postings. see, i can only post pictures when i am at a computer that hold my memory card. oh yes, my digital camera has one of those damn port/cable thingies, but, that was the first thing i lost. i also have an mp3 player that i cannot use, a phone that has no power source (and therefore makes this really annoying beeping sound for a ring) and a printer that is rigged with a motley spectacle of usb cables. every time i plug my ipod in with my special apple cable, i am thankful i haven't lost it. that isn't to say that i have not misplaced it, i have, but i haven't permanently lost it. just wait till i move. my apartment will be a museum of out of commission electronic goods. but, right now, i am at home, and i am able to post. i've grabbed a few more pictures, and while they are in an accurate order for this post, they are, of course, interspersed with the pictures from the last post. i promise to improve. just give me time.

i believe i already mentionned the older gentleman we met in troon. my mother thought his meeting just as serendipitous as i, and indeed, expressed it much more clearly here. actually, she writes about our whole trip, but, she's much too nice. you'll find all the dirt here. mom decided to surprise grammy with the trip to troon. it was her first trip back in fifty years and grammy had a bit of a tough time figuring out which house exactly it was that she and her sister, my auntie moira, stayed in during WWII. i think that is pretty excusable. with the help of the aforementionned man, we were able to discover which house it was. i love love love the houses here. (and by here, i mean europe.) they are beautiful. they demonstrate craftsmanship. now, of course, you'll find the burbs in Scotland just like here, but, there are many many beautiful houses.We headed to Inverness as the home base for a few day trips. mom, having entertained several sets of guests over the past few, was understandably exhausted by tours of the highlands leaving by way of Edinburgh. so, we tried further north. our tour guide was a rather annoying young man. of course, i didn't decide he was annoying until he publicly embarrassed me in front of our whole tour group. and that was after he dressed me in a kilt. (not exactly flattering, but i'll take it. why you ask? because for once it looks like i have an ass.)

seriously though, i almost came to blows with our tour guide. sarah, my cousin, is a runner. i like to jog. our tour group was mostly adults, middle aged and upwards. at one stop, we had scheduled a leisurely walk to a waterfall. the path was clearly marked. so, sarah and i decided to jog it. you know, get our heart rates going. well, apparently, this was unacceptable, and we were told to stop acting like children and to never run off on a tour group. dude, my mother was on the tour. if anyone, anyone, was going to reprimand me for any of my actions ever, it'd be her. i let him say his piece, and then i approached him to discuss the proper treatment of people paying to ride a bus. dad thinks i should have just said, "well, there's goes your tip, idiot." which, frankly, i wish i had said. next time. i'll get your tour guide! i'll get you!

one of my favourite parts of the day trip was a stop in culloden. my mom and grammy mentionned that the last time they stopped in culloden, the tour guide stressed that the battlefield where many highland clans lost many members was sacred space. our idiot tour guide stressed nothing except that we were already behind schedule and we'd better get our butts in gear. we had only enough time to find the macintosh stone (there were quite a few of them). i wanted to find the cameron stone (i'm dating a cameron) and had almost given up, when, lo and behold, directly beside one of the macintosh stones was the cameron one. i am not one for shivers, but, this one got me. somehow, deep inside, it is extremely moving to think of our ancestors fighting side by side in the last major battle for the Scottish throne and the last time the clans mounted a formidable force.

okay, you can't really see that it says cameron, so you'll just have to trust me.

on our last saturday night in Edinburgh, we went to the tattoo. i live the bagpipes. always have, always will. i loved that part of the tattoo. i also loved the marching bands. about halfway through, the mood and tone of the show changed. it became less about the music and more about...the army. i did not love the tribute to military might, the march of tanks, the...'army-ness' of it all. now, you say to me, alli, its a military tattoo, of course its pro-military! to which i say, you are right. in hindsight, i should have seen what was coming. but at the time, i was sitting in the stands, more than a little uncomfortable, physically and mentally, as i watched people cheer and cheer this...spectacle of military prowess. it was a truly bizarre experience. i heard talk of people shedding tears because it was so moving. i have to admit that i did not exprience that sense of comraderie.

there are still more pictures that i wish i had time to write about. i am feeling a little overwhelmed with life right now. both my jobs have picked up, courses are starting soon, i am neglecting my student council responsibilities, my eating habits have been less than stellar...all of this contributes to a rather blah sense of self. i have a long run planned for tomorrow afternoon, but after running in scotland, i find it difficult to rev myself up for a run on the treadmill or through this busy polluted city. but, running always always makes me feel better--prouder, stronger--and i am looking forward to that high.

good night!

2006-08-21T13:18:00.000-04:00

i have to admit that the thought of moving made me want to curl up into a tight little ball and ball my eyes out. i hate it. its hard work, its time consuming, things get broken and lost, you always have to buy different things, you have to rearrange your room, i have to reorganize my books, hang pictures, clean, clean, clean, well, you get the idea. so, clearly, it wasn't my idea to move, but, as it often happens, moving it is.

today, we signed the lease at the new place. as we walked off the bathurst subway, jarrod and i spent some time pointing out the things that were going to be "ours." the record store, the movie theatre, any of three coffee shops, the grocery store, the sushi restaurant. we had a quick breakfast at mel's, the best diner in the city, which is now located a block from our house. i love love love this area. its bright and eclectic and its much much more my style that the condo. (not that i didn't love the condo.) jarrod observed that the condo is a very private way of living. you go home, you don't say hi to your neighbours. the condo itself exists separate from the community in which it is situated. the apartment, though, is right smack dab in the middle of things. i think i just might like being in the middle of things.

i will always be grateful to mom and dad for the opprotunity to live here. it saved me a lot of stress finding a place last year in a city i did not know. this year, knowing the city, having met people who also live here, the task was not as daunting. and this will be our place. its the first time my dad didn't co-sign the lease (though he did front my the last months rent...how can people afford that?).

did i mention we're near a used book store as well?

another doppelganger

2006-08-18T11:47:00.000-04:00

although i have recovered from the shock of seeing another couple that looks eerily a like to my boyfriend and i, i am still recovering from the shock of seeing another girl who appears...to be me.
a friend sent me a link to this blog: tales of a travelling librarian. its startling and alarming. we're both librarians. we've both traveled. we've both called our blogs titles that are practically the same. (though i will note that i have had this blog for over a year, while her's is much less aged.) let me state for the record that i am not angry about this whatsoever...i just think its incredibly neat. i mean, here we are, living lives that we think are so wonderfully unique and personal, when, lo and behold, there's another person out there who chooses to live their life a lot like the way you choose to live yours. its awfully humbling. i hate and love the internet for this. what are the chances that we both blog? and robin, shouldn't you be doing work at work?

yesterday jarrod and i went to see the sixth of our apartments during house search 2006. i was getting discouraged, i have to admit, with all the dingy basements we have been seeing. i might have gotten so upset that i cried and picked a fight with jarrod over it, which goes to show how weak my character can really be. however, i bounced back as soon as i saw a cute three bedroom apartment on bloor/bathurst. its within our price range, all inclusive, great location, walk to school, big deck out back, an actual kitchen and an actual living room...the only problem being that three groups of people were filling out the application at the same time. i gave the guy two hundred bucks as a deposit...or bribe...so we'll see. jeff promised to be my enforcer if the guy got shady. i told him i'd punch him in the face myself. but even if it doesn't work out, i have hopes for a place on bloor/high park as well. both robin and i like to run and to be so near to high park, well, its a runner's heaven. and its much much cheaper. damn it, i am almost regretting the deposit. crap. i love the apartment we are trying to get, so i am going to stop worrying about it. i say that like i can help it.

last night, chris, jenny, jarrod and i tried to go out for mexican food. i say try because we went to the restaurant, we sat down, we ordered, but we never got our food. we sat there for over an hour. just waiting. laughing with the couple at the next table who also never got there food. and then we took off. and ordered a pizza. damn you margaritas! i think we might try for sushi tonight, but we'll see. we'll see if i get my two hundred bucks back!

also, if anyone is looking for hours and hours to kill, might i recommend downloading battle star galactica. your procrastinator self will be oh so fulfilled.

2006-08-14T15:15:00.000-04:00

let me first state for the record that i think that people should have to pass an etiquette test before stepping a single toe on an airplane. these would be the main lessons: do NOT recline your seat unless you are sleeping. if you are chatting with a neighbour, watching the film, or reading a book, you do not get to put the seat down. its invasive, its uncomfortable and its inconsiderate. i think i had some more lessons, but pretty much, that is the one that pisses me off the most. i can't sleep on a plane worth beans, but apparently sarah can.

the day after we arrived, the whole group of us piled in the car and headed to york. the drive was about two hours. i would describe it like this: "pretty" i remember when i first started traveling. every church seemed full of sacred space, each town seemed to be the epitome of town, every...you get the idea. now though, i find myself falling into the trap of just being blah about it all. i mean, every once in a while, i get that 'wow' feeling, but, it comes less often and i miss it.

the following house i just thought was hilarious. it looks like its moving.

since my passion for architecture is waning, i am concentrating on more natural sights. they still take my breath away. this one is of the sunset in Troon, the town my grandmother vacationned in and the town to which she was evacuated to during the second world war. we wandered around troon and managed to find the very houses she lived in. we also met an interesting character, a ninety-one year old neighbour who remembered the families in the area.

on the last trip my grandparents, my mom, and my aunt kathy took, they toured around the highlands. (you can't really go to scotland without touring the highlands.) apparently, they passed a castle called Eilean Donan several times without ever entering the grounds. so, we made up for it this time by visiting twice. the one below is of sarah and i out behind the castle. quite the view, no? (see, nature still does it for me.)

during the last hour on the bus, day two, we encountered the most amazing rainbow. anyone who knows me knows i like rainbows. i took about ten pictures. i think this one is the best. (if anyone would like to see the others, i'd be happy to share. there are enough rainbows for everyone.)

now, this is not a great post about the trip...but i was looking through my photos and these popped out at me. tomorrow, i will post such gems as "alli dressed as ancient male scottish highlander," "sarah being frightened, a series of ten" and "scottish pipers, blurred."

2006-08-06T18:08:00.000-04:00

well, i'm in glasgow. tasha, you are, and usually are, right. its beautiful!

tomorrow, sarah and i have planned a nice scenic run through the botanical gardens. we scoped it out today and were pleasantly surprised to find a book fair. okay, mom and i were pleasantly surprised, grammy and sarah i don't think really felt too strongly one way or another.

the hotel we are staying at happens to have free internet, but, the keyboard is a little wonky and, so growing more and more frustrated, i am going to keep this short and to the point.

i wish i could add some photos because then i could just add those and they'd speak for themselves. and i wouldn't have to type. well, it'll have to wait. soon, maybe.

things i learned today:

ipod chargers have a built in converter, so yay, we can charge them!
not all english people are polite, nor do they know how to respect "reserved seats." you'd think mom had asked him for his, his...his something really valuable.
scottish fare is not always haggis and meat pies. sometimes it is incredibly varied, and delicious, indian, morroccan, french, etc. food, all locally grown. (we asked for a typical scottish restaurant and that was the recommendation)
i am glad i bought a rechargeable battery with my camera...sarah's going through 'em like a hot knife through butter.
condos, in what used to be a hospital (the one in which grammy was born) go for about $700 000. i bought two.

gone fishin'

2006-07-30T15:04:00.000-04:00

i set off to work at the information commons today quite happily. the pay is great, the job is cushy, and i had decided to do a bit of extra work on my indexing because the server was down for a few days this week. plus, i really really like the idea of making over thirty dollars an hour. but when i got here, i realized that i forgot my power cord. there are few things that i dislike more than having the desire (well, at least the plan) to get some work done and not to be able to do. it really gets my goat.

one of the things that could have circumvented my annonyance would have been a nice giant sized cup of coffee. but, of course, our cafetaria service on campus is switching contracts, so everything is closed. in my opinion, to withhold coffee from the poor saps that have to work on sundays is absolutley medieval. there are very few things i can't handle without my extra cuppa joe.

so, instead of getting work done while comfortably enjoying a nice hot drink, i am a bit bitchy and a bit bored. on the upside, i've made a few dinner and lunch plans this week. and, for the most part, i am all set to head off to scotland on thursday. tasha sent me an excellent email of things to do in glasglow (she lived there for a few months) and i am looking forward to seeing the things she recommends for a couple of reasons: a) i am sure they'll be worth seeing and b) its a neat kinda time warp thing whenever you send someone to some place that is special to you.

it is true that i do have a paper to write tomorrow (thought...should i start that now? maybe i will, maybe i just will!), but i am, for all intents and purposes, already on vacation. that might not be a good thing, but only when it comes to the paper.

the little brown dress

2006-07-28T10:15:00.000-04:00

my mom sent me this link this morning:

The Little Brown Dress

Check it out before you continue reading, otherwise you'll have no idea what i am taking about for the rest of this post. i can give you a brief synopsis, but it won't be the same. a woman decides to make and wear only one brown dress for 365 days. she adds on sweaters or layers as needed, but the core of the outfit is only the brown dress. she maintains that most of her co-workers did not even notice that she was wearing the same dress day after day (asserting that our own self-absorbed-ness prevents us from seeing other people.) the whole experiment can be summed up by her saying, " made one small, personal attempt to confront consumerism by refusing to change my dress for 365 days." (Alex Martin)

now, i was expecting to see one dress, 365 times. but she spruces up her outfit daily (in nice traditional granola wear), to the point that i now understand why she said that her colleagues did not even notice that she was duplicating her outfit. now, the woman seems to be some kind of creative force, also transforming this experiment into a dance. the whole experiment seems intriguing to me: the idea that we are not what we wear, no matter how hard i'd like to justify the goodness of what not to wear. i think it also fits perfectly into our national tendency to over-produce and over-use. not only did wearing, gasp, one article of clothing not stifle the spirit of this woman, it inspired her.

when i was in grade 12, our high school decided to embark on the path of uniforms. active in student government, i have to admit, i was prepared to put all my student influence towards rejecting the uniform (or clothing simply existing to turn us into clones, whatever you'd like to call it.) and i wasn't the one you'd think would protest: i was overweight, friends with the artsy types (who have all turned out to be wonderful interesting people, just like they were then), and heck, i was on student council. i was the poster girl of why there should be uniforms. but i hated the very idea of them. but that hate lasted about one second after my mom bought me mine. not only could i roll over and practically be dressed, i also looked like everyone else. and because everyone looked the same, all of a sudden, people had to listen to what other people said to distinguish them. i don't really have to words to describe this process. was it because we were teenagers? because we didn't really know who we were yet (but do we now?)? did clothes really make for class disctinctions? i don't know. but i do remember a vastly different environment when we did have uniforms. one that i was quite thankful for. and i do remember that people words meant more than they had mattered before.

now, ms. martin isn't promoting uniforms by any means. i would hate to put words in her mouth. but, i still like the message. and i think the message is rather pertinent to us, overconsumers and mass wasters, and that we should listen.

i'm sleepy

2006-07-24T21:08:00.000-04:00

i've been up since five this morning.

today was jarrod's first day at a new place of employment. we live downtown toronto. it was located in richmond hill. on saturday, we tested out the commuting water. it took a long time. so jarrod decided he'd just take the go train, even though it is slightly more expensive. well, the joke was on him. the go train does not run from toronto to richmond hill, excepting evening rush hour. there is not even any go bus until ten in the am. so he was back to the ttc. but, he had to leave so early in the morning that even the subway was not yet running. so he had to bus it from yonge/dundas to finch. and then to richmond hill. and then a local bus. ouch. and by he, i might as well have been saying we, since, for this one morning, i went with him. (i have a sense of direction, he doesn't.) besides, i wanted to get a head start on the day. ahem. well, i am working on switching my schedule so that instead of staying up till four or five, that is the time i wake up. we'll see if it works.

i believe that keeping a relatively similar schedule is the only way to prevent one of us from killing the other. we're both fairly light sleepers and there is simply no way for one of us to get up without annoying the other. sometimes, i get passive agressive about it. like, i'll ask him if he wants to use speakers to watch tv. or he'll come out and be, "do you want help unloading the dishwasher?" when i've woken him up with the clanging. for the most part, we're adjusting remarkably well. but, i am a terribly spoiled girl who's never had to share a room before (excepting of course first year where my room mate and i just simultaneously snoozed our alarms through class, feeling better because we were both still in bed). so, i'm adjusting, just to some things better than others. for instance, i really like having an ally on the cleaning front. we might still be losing the war, but we've won some good battles.

i rode the subway home (it was running by then) alone. getting on at finch, it wasn't hard to get a seat. however, i was completely blown away by just how incredibly packed it gets. for a commuter city, i have to say that the experience of finding a way to richmond hill, and then seeing this overcrowding, shocked me. why on earth aren't we focusing on making public transit easy, affordable, and timely? i read an article the other day comparing toronto's subway with chicago's (two cities of comparable size). toronto's is a cross. chicago's is a multi-pointed stick star.

except for the viva buses, i am widely disappointed. fortunately, i brought my book and i could pretend no one else existed. even the woman who kept touching my arm. gross.

i'm halfway to fifty

2006-07-23T14:16:00.000-04:00

yesterday was my birthday. i both hate and love my birthday. not for getting older, that doesn't bother me yet, but because, and i know some of you aren't going to believe this, i don't actually like being the centre of attention. i mean, when i'm cracking jokes, of course i want people to laugh. but i hate feeling like i am obligating people to be nice to me or to treat me special. (this feeling excludes boyfriends, family and close friends, who are, in every way, obligated to treat me special for the day...and they always come through.)

but birthdays are weird, aren't they? people say that blogging is self-indulgent, but i believe that the birthday is the holiday most guilty of this trait. at least at christmas you also give away presents. but a birthday, its all about one person. at least when we were little we had to throw one heck of a party to get presents. and by we, i mean our parents. wheelies will always have a special place in my heart.

as birthdays go, yesterday was very nice. i have decided that i will keep on having my birthday on a saturday, forever. its just a nicer day to relax on. jarrod was off, i was off, much nicer than say, a monday. we spent the morning figuring out where jarrod's new place of employment was. richmond hill is not far from T.O., but, in terms of having been there before, it made for an interesting jaunt. first of all, the buses are amazing. get this: the bus stops have displays that show you when the next bus will arrive. brilliant. there's nothing worse than waiting when you don't know how long you have to wait for. its kinda like doing push ups. its much easier to do a number of push ups when you can visualize the ending than to not know when you'll get to stop. that's a true story. in tae kwon do, sometimes our teacher wouldn't tell us how many we'd have to do. it was pure terrible torture.

after we scoped out richmond hill, we did a little shopping (it was my birthday!) and then grabbed jeff for an early dinner at reb lobster. i love love love crab legs. i don't remember this ever happening before, but, somehow i couldn't finish all the crab. i had to give some away. it was awful. i kept saying, eat alli eat! and i was just too full. this is why i would never be able to have gastric bypass surgery: i pride myself too much on the sheer volume of food i can put away when i want to. like chugging. i know there's something disgusting about it, but, i just feel so proud of myself. now, my only complaint about red lobster is that they don't give away a free slice of birthday cake. with bills that high, i think everyone should get a piece of cake. just for being there. regardless of birthdays. it would be such a happy place.

these things also made my day:

a balloon bouquet from my parents. i like to tell people it came all the way from england, but i suspect balloons don't travel so well. so they're probably torontonians, born and raised. though i think the best part was hearing my mom talk about how she chose them...she knows me too well!
a pair of green socks, with little frogs attached to them, from my grammy. i hesitate to wear them in case the frogs fall off. but i'll probably risk it.
emails and phone messages from friends and family. although i don't like obligated people to call or email, it sure is nice when they do!

things i learned while reading reader's digest

2006-07-18T22:23:00.000-04:00

the word mendacious means untruthful
you need government permission to commercially produce eggs. you have to buy "quota" (to participate in the system), which works out to about 175 bucks a bird. the high cost keeps many people out of the egg game and leaves a nice monopoly for those who can afford it (under the guise of preserving market equity and protecting farmers from competition)
Carl Leffler, the mathematician behind the popular game 'bingo,' was hired to create unique bingo cards and, according to legend, went crazy after he produced about 6000 of them.
The average lifespan of pets (cats and dogs) has increased by one third over the past decade due to increased vaccinations and better vetrinary care. (and in my personal opinion, a growing penchant to treating an animal like one of the family and a decrease in number of shotguns kept in the house)
the japanese have this word, "katahara itai" to describe the phenomenon of laughing so hard that your stomach hurts. english suuuuucks.
psychopaths enjoy dramatic lying for its own sake

2006-07-18T13:32:00.000-04:00

the reason that i choose to sit at the starbucks at st. george and college is that it is close enough to campus for me to still reside on the university of toronto's network. and i get to sit in a coffee shop. i do need an internet connection to complete my indexing (which must must must be done by a week friday!). and i do need coffee to do my work. so, the situation is win-win.

however, i feel like as i've gotten older i've gotten more and more intolerant of other people. let me say this as clearly as possible--other people piss me off. for instance, those people at canada's wonderland, weeks ago, if i think about them too much even now, i can feel my blood starting to boil. i hate when people are inconsiderate. not in the emotional sense, heck, i don't care how you treat the people in your life. you're a stanger. inconsiderate in the inability to recognize that other people exist.

i'm sitting in the comfy chairs. you know, there's two in every starbucks. i am by myself. (working, remember?) but then this middle-aged man sits down in the other chair. and he didn't ask if he could. he's supposed to ask. these chairs are two of a kind. i could have been waiting for someone. they could have been getting a coffee or be in the bathroom. he should have said, "excuse me, is anyone sitting here?" he needn't ask my permission, but he also should put me in the place of having to be "uh, there's someone sitting there." see what i mean?

now, the thing that really pisses me off is that he's one of those rather creepy people. he keeps checking out the young girls, nursing his coffee. i hate when people do that. its just so...dated. get on the internet already! they don't care if you look!

other than that though, starbucks is pretty boring today. so, at least he's providing a little entertainment. he's not in the league of full body suit girl (i miss her), but who is?

when i should working, i am reading...

2006-07-17T12:45:00.000-04:00

i spend a lot of time browsing the internet. i work from home. what can i say? my reward for doing a good half hours work is to read a blog. i set up a bloglines account, which i thought would streamline my blog reading, but i found that i missed reading blogs in their natural environment. every blogger creates their own space and somehow, it makes a difference. (if you've not seen bloglines, its basically just a text file. not pretty.) because these blogs are essential to amusing me during the day (when my boyfriend and room mates are not home to amuse), i thought i would share my favourite ones. now, these are not the blogs of my friends. those are my favourites, of course of course of course. i mean, i check those everyday. and not just because i might be mentionned, but because, my friends are creative, hilarious, good people. even my mom keeps a blog (she's "A Bowmanvillain Abroad," in the links section there to the right). and i love that too, because as i've grown up, as i think is rather normal, i've realized that my mom is not just my mom, but also...ready?...her own person. you don't really get to see that as a kid, but, as an adult, i love getting that little look into her life. plus, she lives in england, so she has some really great stories.

so, here's my favourites (but in no particular order):

I am, therefore I date: written by a young woman in new york. i started reading way back when she was just a single girl having a whole lotta fun, now, she's leaving new york for washington. a new job, a new boyfriend, a new future. this process (though she doesn't write as often as she used to) is something that is especially interesting to me. how often do you get to hear about this? as young women who value our careers and our friends, it is often difficult to navigate the role we want our significant others to play in our priorities. roxy naviagtes these with us, setting an example that is very human. i enjoy reading...even if the sex has almost disappeared!

Why don't we get drunk and blog?: i am about to betray my gender...i think boys are funnier than girls. i think male comedians are funny. I think female comedians are not. of course, there are exceptions (myself? absolutely!). but for the most part, boys seem to be the ones who can make me pee my pants a little from laughing so hard. i have a very strong background in hilarious male friends (as well as a very amusing boyfriend and little brother). so, i mean, my bar is set pretty high. but dave, who exists for me only as "some guy," is hilarious. and so, since i like hilarious, and although this blog is fairly new to me, i am still really enjoying it.

Spendqueen: okay, this is as close as i get to knowing someone that i am writing about here. she's a friend of a friend. and honestly, she's someone that i hate to love. superficially, her and i are many many miles apart (for instance, she's buying a half million dollar condo...i'm buying microwave popcorn and calling it dinner. okay, not really, but you know what i mean). but every once in a while, she writes in such a vulnerable, yet clever, manner, that i keep on coming back.

This Fish: some blogs i read because they are funny, some blogs i read because i think their life and their choices are interesting, and some blogs i read because they are well-written. my mom calls me a snob, but really, i can read something that is poorly written with a great story and something that is well written but has a poor story. if it has both, i'll treasure and love it forever. hence, i love this blog. (but not as much as the book thief. huh. it says this book is for young readers. i am shocked. its quite detailed. shall i say sophisticated?) heather writes about her life: unlike some others, she doesn't have a gimmick. she keeps readers coming back (and boy does she have readers!) because, well, for all the stuff i just said.

No Sex and the City: as much as i just disparaged gimmicks, this one, though based on such, is one that i approve of. its the only blog i read that is written by more than one person. can you guess? its written by not charlotte, not carrie, not samantha, and not miranda. see? good gimmick. why go to four different blogs, when i can get four at once?

now, of course, i also read the celebrity blogs. and i say of course, because if you have met me once, and this is not something i am proud of, but you'll know. probably because i have said this, "oh, i read somewhere..." which really means "on the superficial today..." its not a very difficult code, but it still makes me feel a little bit like how i think a master's student should feel.

doin' my part

2006-07-16T20:41:00.000-04:00

i love when people find stuff like this.

Check out "My Great Idea" from Why don't we get drunk and blog?

delicious!

2006-07-12T19:43:00.000-04:00

i wanted a ginger molasses cookie from starbucks. they are big and soft and coated with a light coating of white sugar.

its been a long day. first of all, i had to get up at ten o'clock this morning. now, remember, its all relative. i usually work till about midnight, mimicing jarrod's hours, and so i never call it a night before one or two. and i will be the first to admit that i need a lot of sleep. or else i turn into this she-beast that roams the condo until noon. i worked hard today though, had several meetings, and got a lot done.

so i felt like i deserved a cookie.

so, i set off to starbucks. first stop, my regular haunt. nodda. see, this is the thing about starbucks: they are terribly sporadic. it depends on the day, the time, the gods, i don't know, but half of the time they have nothing that i want to eat. today, they had a cookie called "breakfast cookie." now, everyone who knows me knows that i try to stretch all my pastries into breakfast foods, but not even i would try to include a cookie. its probably some kind of granola-trail mix-good-good-for-you cookie. which, in my opinion, isn't actually a cookie as much as something baked in a round shape. that does not a cookie make. a cookie needs chocolate or oatmeal or ginger. ah, right, back to where i started.

now that i had decided that i wanted a cookie, i was getting a cookie. starbucks was not going to limit me to what was simply in that particular display case. there are too many starbucks for that. i headed to the starbucks at the athletic centre. nothing. again. of course, i happened to run into a few friends outside of the starbucks...who of course thought i was a bit off my rocker. they don't know how good the cookies are. of course, it started to rain, adding to both the hilarity and the determination. the only thing that would make this better is if i fell off my bike. but i didn't.

then i went to the starbucks on queen street. third times the charm!

so i bought two. just for good measure.

"i just wish you didn't know each other"**

2006-07-11T23:27:00.000-04:00

my brother and i pride ourselves on being sneaky. it is a pride that is completely not earned, and worse, it is not accurate--we are not sneaky at all. i think we like to think we look sneaky, but mostly, we spend our time looking over our shoulders. its all that damn honesty mom built into while raising us correctly. i'm sure we'll be grateful for it someday. my brother and i also pride ourselves on the number of movies we see. if its playing on the big screen and if i have the evening free, i'm all about seeing it and jeff usually has his shoes on by the fourth word of "what are you doing tonight? movie?" but, i have to admit, i hate paying fifteen dollars to see a movie. i also hate having to pay fifteen dollars for popcorn and a pop if i want something to snack on while seeing said movie. i often leave thinking, thirty bucks? for what? and the urge to beat the system grow and fermented, and, eventually, bloomed.

i hope you can see where this is going. yes, jeff and i have combined our sneakiness and our love of movies. really, its all AMC's fault. growing up, the process was this: you bought a ticket for one movie. you hand ticket to ticket guy. you enter the hallway that led to the one theatre that was showing your movie. they don't make 'em like they used to anymore. now, the megaplexes have no time for this one screen, one ticket holder business. suddenly, one ticket granted you access to five, ten, even fifteen or twenty movies. and, once you were in, they never looked at you twice. i have been known to see three movies in one day. its not something that i am proud of, but it has happened. in my defense, why would you leave? there's toilets and pop and so many movies.

on sunday, we saw two of them. its been a dry summer, but i think things are picking up. a scanner darkly, for jarrod, and pirates of the caribbean, for me and jeff. jarrod didn't quite make it through the second movie (thus suggesting that not everyone likes to sit in one place for seven hours) unlike the AMC, this was a slightly smaller theatre. and we had to kill quite a bit of time in between. and the lobby wasn't all that busy. but then we noticed something, something that makes me think that they intend for you to stay for more than one movie. varsity theatres has a little cafe. you can buy beer, coffee, snacks...all rather lingering refreshment breaks, if you ask me. perfect for killing time. i have to say, my cafe mocha was much less expensive than the price of another movie ticket. and much more relaxing too. (i have heard that theatres make their money not on ticket sakes but on concession sales--to this, i say to you, movie theatre owners, why not embrace the multi-movie phenomenon? put up signs! encourage us to stay!)

of course, to avoid being too obvious in an uncrowded theatre lobby, we slipped into another movie to kill time. thus, really, i saw two and a quarter movies. and i swear, i almost had to drag jeff by the shirt out of the devil wears prada.

**the quote refers to a family dinner a few years ago. it was after a hockey game, so jeff and i did not see each other very often. i think leanne and julia t. were around as well, so jeff and i were probably putting on a show, as we are wont to do. after some particularily crude remark, dad muttered, to everyone but jeff and i, "i love my children dearly. i just wish they didn't know each other." its right up there with "this is NOT a good idea!" but, that's another quote for another post.

words unread

2006-07-06T20:32:00.000-04:00

i read postsecret pretty religiously. as in, its pretty much the first thing that i do when i wake up on sunday mornings. its a little like christmas, except without the santa claus and presents. but with all the touching moments. this one, in particular, struck a chord with me.

why? because its true. when someone hurts us, or even when we just feel hurt, we find it hard to accept. we see answers to questions, explanations, and even, closure (which, due to sit-coms, has been given a rather bad reputation lately). and yet, we get to the point where we can't say how much we hurt to the person that hurt us anymore. because they've moved on, because we should have moved on, because...for a million reasons. i think even because we shouldn't care anymore but because we just...can't...let...it...go. do you think that she still loves him? (it seems like a girl to me. but maybe just because i empathize with the author. and you know, i'm a girl.) does she write to him, even though he won't hear because she can't help herself? because she still is hurting? maybe even, because she won't let him know that she still hurts because that will give him still power over her. and its a small but satisfying revenge to at least hold something back.

i am not proud of being a dweller. or a worrier. or a planner. but i am all of these things, perhaps even to the extreme. (i've been called manipulative, but i have decided to reject that particular label.) when the person i first said "i love you" to broke up with me, i'll admit it, i wrote letters. or emails. and i sent them. and then, time passed. life went on. some of the hurt went away. then all of the hurt went away. but every once in a while, and here's deep dark secret, i get this pang in my stomach. and i find myself wanting to speak with him. to really speak with him. i have a friend that makes me feel this way too. we were room mates in fourth year. and even though we said terrible horrible things to each other (and i think we truly meant them), i find myself, now that time has passed, wanting to write to her, to say sorry, to that there were more good times than bad, and that really, all i want is friendship in this life. i want to speak with her too.

i wonder if many people do this. write letters that aren't sent. some, i am sure, should not be sent. but perhaps, some should be. the ones that say, i am sorry. that say, i still love you. that say, that was a mistake. to say, you are special to me. letters that are so true to the heart that one cannot send them. so i will confess: if you know me, and we've had some kind of disagreement, some of falling out, the chances are very great that i have written you a letter that i have not sent. i always thought that getting older meant that you learned how to forge and maintain relationships. it doesn't. its like the solar system: people rotate around you through life, getting closer, going farther. there's nothing you can do--its natural. things wax and wane, some explode, some burn out, some collide and make something new. (okay, i am done with the universe analogy. sorry.) are we supposed to just take what we can get? to leave things up to chance? i have no idea. some people stay, some people leave. and some people leave even though you dont, dont, want them to. and so we write them letters, that go unsent, not because we want to make them come back, because we don't have that kind of power, but because we are sad and sorry and because we still think of them, even if we won't admit that we do.

hsyeji

2006-07-05T13:58:00.001-04:00

okay, i tried posting a comment today. and i failed the "word verify" test. and i failed it because, even though i am a literate person with several years of education, i cannot identify six letters when they are all scrambly like that. i hope this happens to other people. but i am afraid it does not.

i am still impressed with the internet

2006-07-04T15:11:00.000-04:00

well, turns out this summer working from home is going a whole heck of a lot better than last summer. first of all, i have a nicely defined position: i have a binder. i have a bunch of images. i need to make them navigable. i can do that.

of course, i do need to do some background work. which really, has led to a whole bunch of neat things. first of all, all you writers out there, WordNet. Basically an online thesaurus, it'll really help me when it comes to assigning key words to images. my vocabulary may be a little above average but it certainly is no match for this web site.

i also found an ongoing indexing project, Flamenco. I think that i will incorporate this search interface into the finished project because it gives a great overview as to what is actually included in a database. it also prevents dead ends and dead links. plus, you can easily add to it.

wow, this might be my first "librarian" related post since i had to do so for class work. maybe it won't even be the last.

Image Indexing
Flamenco
WordNet

fighting injustice one line at a time

2006-06-28T20:22:00.000-04:00

i've been meaning to write about this for a while. canada's wonderland. i have so so many wonderful childhood memories of this place. the rides, the funnel cake, the characters, the hustle and bustle, the funnel cake...but this time was different. jeff, jarrod, kim and i went (and, because of this company, nothing can be that bad) and it was packed. to the point that i have never seen it so packed. it was hot, so we booted it to the water park. which was still packed. but we made the best of it, doing a few slides and relaxing in the lazy river.

our fun was slightly marred, however, when we came face to face with a few who seemed determined to wreck it for the rest of us. we all noticed (and yes, laughed) at the four adults who went down the waterslide fully clothed. and then, still waiting, we noticed them go down again. see, what you had to do was wait for a raft, and then you took the raft to the top of the slide and raced down. but these four people decided that they did not have to wait, they just could stand at the front and take rafts from those who had waited legitimately. we watched them try it again, only to be stopped by another adult. this got my blood boiling...because if there is one thing i hate, it is following the rules only to have others flaunt them. three of them walked off, but one adult tried again. again! he was told there was a line! he budded again! and then, jarrod stalks towards him, and literally took the raft from the man. not in a particularily violent way, but certainly in a forceful one. the three of us started cheering, and other people clapped too. of course, it doesn't end there.

when we get to the top of the slide, right after jarrod mentions, "if i see them up a head of us, i am going to lose it," we notice that people are coming back down, through the line. yep! its our friends! who had somehow decided that if they couldn't get rafts, they'd just...break more rules and head down the water slide without mats! of course! that makes sense! they marched down rather shamefully and i felt happy that they were caught out. i have no idea what they did the rest of the day. i hope they got kicked out, but i doubt it. who are these people that think that they are free of the rules? that they should get to go twice before the rest of us, before a bunch of kids, get to go once? i did not know what to do about it. the lifeguard's didn't care. not even many other people seemed to care. should we not have said anything? i am just so sick of constantly letting people get away with things. stupid things. i just hate it. i have a big mouth. and i suppose i think of myself as fairly intimidating. i mean, really, look at me? what girl would try anything? heck, i'd even take on a guy. (this from someone who has never been in a fight in her life...except for a little brother who mostly, i'd just hit and then run and lock myself in the bathroom.)

we went of that slide again, you know, gluttons for punishment that we are (we were also trying to not let the earlier altarcation ruin a) the slide or b) our day). this is where the highlight of the day came from. a daughter and a father were debating whether or not to do this one. they decided to, and the dad kinda cut the line. and then the daughter just lost it! she yelled that there was a line, that they had to wait...and the dad shamefully walked back to the end. i don't know where she got it, but it seems like at least some of our youth have a sense of right and wrong.

after the water park, we headed back out to do some rides...and got waylaid by giant giant hot dogs. seriously. they were huge. i know, i know, stree meat, street meat...they have nothing on the dogs at wonderland. so, we ate, we had fun, we had a bit of hostility. pretty much, just a regular day at wonderland.

**a quick proviso for this photo. i had just gotten dressed. clothes over the bathing suit. i wasn't waiting in any lines, not even bathroom lines, that didn't involved a pay off like a roller coaster at the end.

***i wore those pants when i rode on a camel in morrocco. (sometimes i have to plug myself because i don't feel like my posts are good enough.)

committed by credit card

2006-06-22T17:53:00.000-04:00

oh, its on. i have officially signed up for the Toronto Half Marathon. i know i mentionned earlier on that i had decided to do it, but, now, now i am really going to do it. i want another t-shirt and another medal. (speaking of which, has anyone seen an ottawa half-marathon medal? i seem to have lost mine.) i have spent the last couple weeks (whew, so far into my training) building up my mileage, which really translates into blistered toes. i am going to need some new running shoes soon...if only my mom was coming into town soon. oh wait! she is! (i'll keep praying to the running gods...and keep on hoping that no one notices that i am turning 25 in july, which makes me officially certainly completely an adult who should be able to purchase her own running shoes). Annetta and i have made a plan to both run it (perhaps together, perhaps not, depending on how fast each of us is taking it) and its nice to know someone else is undertaking the challenge. (that was certainly a guilt trip to plague her should she decide not to run).

in sadder news, jarrod's bike was not the easy fix we expected. turns out, the cranks they were going to replace cannot be replaced without replacing (can i say that anymore?) the whole undercarriage. which would cost more than the bike. much more. i was a bit troubled, seeing as how my finances do not really allow for wasted purchases, but then...i found the golden ticket (the receipt) that mentions that the bikes contain a two week warranty. i did not expect this, seeing as how we bought the bike from a pawn shop from a man who i would descibe as a "bike hustler." i am hoping for cash back, but i will take store credit. jarrod can just pick out another one. hopefully we can find one that evokes the same sense of "awesome!' that this one did...though i have to admit that i fear that just won't be possible. we shall see.

the curse of the dopplegangers

2006-06-21T16:57:00.000-04:00

okay, my cousin told jarrod about this website called fuzzy squid. basically, its some feed that displays the latest images posted to the very popular public journal site Livejournal. since he found out about it, he's noted some very odd things. like someone cleaning up a toilet seat covered in what appears to be human excretment. like a chubby little man imitating the pose of a pin up girl. and personal family shots and friends shots and funny images and everything you could possibly think of. from all around the world. so, while i don't recommend viewing this site at work, i do recommend viewing from the comfort of your own home when you want a rather diverse glimpse into what makes human beings tick. because some of it is more than mildly unsuitable for work. like the vintage porn shots. seriously. you know how everything has that favourite photo of great aunt beatrice? exactly. but add genitalia. somehow, maybe with the time elapsed factor, it just looks like art. very odd, pornographic art. i would not even have guessed this existed. and it makes me think of that costume booth at canada's wonderland in a whole new (rather dirty) way.

just keep in mind that what you find is very very bizarre. like these photobooth shots. please note, despite the uncanniness, these are not of jarrod and i. i repeat: not. not even that third one is a ringer for me. nor that last one, which, i swear, is not jarrod.

death and i have one thing in common

2006-06-20T17:29:00.000-04:00

once, in high school, a teacher caught me reading the last page of a book i was reading. i have no memory of the book, or the ending, but i do remember the look of horror that i would "ruin" the ending for myself. i didn't even know that it was deviant reader behaviour. little did she know that this was chronic behaviour for me. to this day, often before i even buy a book, i will read the last page, perhaps even the last chapter, first.

so, dear teacher, and all others who have questionned why i allow this little behaviour to persist, i direct you to this quote:

of course, i'm being rude. i'm spoiling the ending, not only of the entire book, but of this particular piece of it. i have given you two events in advance, because i don't have much interest in building mystery. mystery bores me. it chores me. i know what happens and so do you. it's the machinations that wheel us there that aggravate, perplex, interest and astound me.

there are many things to think of. there is so much story.

--p. 243
The Book Thief
Marcu Zusak

the narrator, Death, has it exactly right. i care very little for a suspense novel (though, of course, i will read them, as well as romance, fantasy, cereal boxes, whatever i can get my hands on). i care very very much for the characters about whom i am reading and about their lives: their loves and hurts and fears and dreams and whatever else it is that makes a human being. i have certainly gone so far as to laugh out loud hysterically, or, more often, to cry a good hard cry. i'll cry even if its the fourth or fifth or tenth time (lions of al-rassan i am thinking of you!). but even when a book evokes such a response in me, it very rarely has to do with the ending of the book and more to do with the present.

so, i will continue my nasty little habit. and i will rest easy, knowing that there are others, even if that other is a fictional entity in one novel, that knows a little bit about what i am talking about.

did i say thank you kristen? thank you. what a wonderful book.

please score edmonton, please score!

2006-06-19T21:53:00.000-04:00

its 2-0 carolina. i hate that this is the score. usually, i watch hockey all season. whether its my brother or room mates or friends or myself, i end up catching a decent amount of leafs games. it didn't happen this year. julia d. and i caught one game (actually i think i still owe her some money for that evening), but that was pretty much the extent of fanship. until game 5 of the stanley cup when the oilers' managed to score short handed in overtime. holy mother, that was exciting. so i watched the trouncing of the 'canes that occurred in game six. and now, now, i am watching game seven. and i find myself getting very very angry with the oilers. and that makes me realize why i had to stop watching hockey: i hate that i care. and if i don't watch, i don't care.

they just blew a five on three power play. and then took a weak hooking penalty. (for the record, if i was a coach and my player took an ass head penalty, i'd bench him. but both my father and my brother, who know so much more of the game than i do, have told me that this makes me a terrible coach.)

in brighter news, i got that job today. i start friday, its twenty five hours a week, and i work from home. it ends just before i go to scotland, it doesn't conflict with either my helpdesk job nor my course...all in all, i am pretty happy with it.

the king of bikes

2006-06-19T13:17:00.000-04:00

i had an interview this morning. usually they ask nine million questions, from "what would you do in this situation" to "what are your strengths/weaknesses" to "why are you qualified for this position." you know, the standard, stupid, interview questions. i always thought that they were terrible but necessary. however, this morning, the interview was revolutionized. the woman, very friendly, young, pretty, smart, basically just declared that she had no idea logistically of what i would be doing, just that she had this general view of what the project was. (image indexing...it sounds great.) seriously, it lasted fifteen minutes. now, i just have to send her references and a letter of reference from a prof (uh oh) and she'll go from there. i have no idea how it went, if they'll call, whether it will come together...but i do know she said that i could work from home. and i am liking that very much.

this afternoon, jarrod and i headed to the bike repair shop. because you know, after you buy a bike, of course you need to get it repaired. damn it. actually, when i was in belgium, i rented a bike. and i rode it home. in the rain. and my pedal fell off. so, it was some kind of cosmic coincidence that jarrod and i rode our bikes all the way to canadian tire (but not in the rain, in the humidity) and on the way home, his pedal fell off. of course, also, we need to get his "cranks" replaced. i put it in quotes because i have no real idea what cranks are. however, i do believe, three days from now, our biking adventures will begin.

here's jarrod on his bike:

i think he's a happy boy. we're both on the job search, but whereas he's a little more antsy about finding work, i am happily settling into the routine of watching oprah everyday. i have the sneaky suspicion that this little vacation is coming to an end, so i am trying to appreciate it while its here.

OH! the best news: my grammy has officially booked our tickets to scotland! from august 03-14, my cousin sarah, my mom, my grandma and i will be gallavanting around scotland, visiting the places that i missed last time, but also visiting places that are sentimental for my grandma (being born and raised in glasgow). its one thing to visit a country that you know you come from: its completely another to visit it with a person whom you love and who can open the country in so many new ways. i am excited to travel, yes, but i am also excited to talk and to listen and to learn.

frustrated

2006-06-16T13:21:00.000-04:00

there are several things that are going really well for me right now. my grammy just booked a trip to scotland for my cousin sarah, me, and her. my boyfriend just moved in and things are going so well that it makes me wonder how i could ever have hesitated. i have started running again, and though i am not nearly in the shape i once was, i am beginning to feel proud of myself. the weather is hot and sunny, but not humid. i am reading several books, i spend a lot of time drinking coffee, i am taking a summer course, like i said, things are looking swell.

except for one thing. my job. i have a job. technically. you wouldn't know it from the hours i work. actually, i am not even being paid anymore for the hours i go in, because i've used up all my training. and yet, i am still not on the schedule. there is no rush to put us on the schedule.

it is endlessly frustrating. i don't want to push, because, really i am liking this job, and the people, a whole heck of a lot. but at the same time, its been over a month, and well, i am getting ancy. i need to be doing something, putting some money in the bank. i was given the impression in the interview that i would be given weekly hours. and i'm not.

i have an interview on monday for a job that pays ten bucks an hour. and i am excited about it.

unbelieveable

2006-06-16T13:03:00.000-04:00

you'll have to forgive me for not posting so often. i've done something stupid. i broke my f'n keyboard. now, you may be thinking to yourself, if the keyboard is broken, how is she typing? well. its not completely broken. indeed, its barely broken.

let me tell you the story. my "r" key was giving me a bit of trouble. so, as usual, i pried it off to clean out the dust. (once, i was having the same problem and did the same thing, to find a finger nail clipping underneath. how's that for gross?) but, this time, i broke this miniscule little plastic square that caused the spring motion of the key. so, i called Gateway. i figured they'd just tell me where i could get a new little plastic square. but no. i have to buy a whole new keyboard.

i figured i could avoid the whole mess by heading to the computer district (college and spadina). but, alas, all the vendors were disinclined to break the manufacturer's mandate.

i was stuck.

so i decided to fix it myself. you know, throw a lesser used key on the "r" button. i mean, i would know its really an r. but of course, this experiment just led me to breaking another key. and then another, when i tried it for the third time. i figured if i was going to be forced into buying a new keyboard, i was going to make it worth my while.

so, right now, my keyboard is missing three keys. technically, they still work if i wedge my fingernail onto the little sensitive thingy. but its a pain in the ass.

i ordered the new keyboard. and its going to cost me $90.00. all for the want of a little teeny tiny platic square.

i heart buildings decorated like books

2006-06-12T21:12:00.000-04:00

i wish i had some context to add to this rather bizarrely decorated building. but i don't. my aunt beth sent it to me...and i thought it was great, so i am sharing it. and i know, you librarians and archivists you, that you're liking it too.

one half vinegar, one half honey

2006-06-12T20:42:00.000-04:00

this is what happened to me today. i went for a run. and then, when i had about forty five minutes to go, a man came in. he wanted to use the tread mill. of which there are two, but one is out of order. (and has been so for over two weeks. don't even get me started.) he informed me that he was waiting and that i had another fifteen minutes. i was pissed. so i told him that i would be off in half an hour (half an hour being the time i would have been on the treadmill since he had been in the room, waiting and which is the amount of time that i have to limit my workout to "officially" when someone else is waiting to use the equipement.) okay, i get that this is how the rules of the gym work. but as people who work out are likely to know, it takes a certain amount of mental prep to complete a work out. when you know you are going to work out, you kinda of prepare for it. i had prepared to do an hour run. i wanted to do an hour run. if i am going to get all sweaty, i am going to go as hard as i can. and i recognize this about other people. several times i have gone to the work out room to find that it is occupied. and so i leave. and i come back. i would never dream of telling someone else to stop using their machine, regardless of the rules. people work out for longer than half an hour. its just the way it is.

but then i felt like an ass. and i apologized and said i would be off at the thirty minute mark, which would mean that i had only been on the machine for half an hour. he just put his water bottle by the machine and said that he would be back in a few minutes. i ended up doing fifty minutes on the tread. which, unfortunately, just goes to show that you get more flies with honey than with vinegar. i hate when that happens.

2006-06-06T00:20:00.000-04:00

i am divided into two halves. one half likes surveys. the other half does not.

you can see which side won today.

i apologize. well, half of me does.

i can't promise that it won't happen again, but if it does, it won't be for a while. and by a while, i mean at least until i am bored again.

did i mention that i love summer?

2006-06-05T21:07:00.000-04:00

1. So, what did you do all day?
woke up laaaate. i hate not working a lot of hours. it means that i often sleep the morning away. however, jarrod, julia and i managed to get out butt's to Mel's Montreal Delicatessen for a very late breakfast. to celebrate her last day in the tdot, we brought julia to honest ed's, which really, is a unique experience. our purchases were boring: porridge, brown sugar, some cookies. but jarrod promised me a big stew pot with his first pay check. i'm a luck lady!

2. What is the most expensive thing you've bought recently?
i have been practicing my frugality. unfortunately, the most expensive thing i have bought was groceries. (that must be a lie and yet i can think of nothing else. i have a terrible habit of being frugal and then doing something such as purchasing $100 jeans. its been known to happen.)

3. Last concert (or show) you attended.
last week jarrod and i attended the sean ward show. to say show is perhaps to overestimate it, however, i have no doubt that one day you will all recognize the name sean ward as part of toronto's culture. he's high energy, lots of fun, and he can produce a lot of material. you know, putting his money where his mouth is.

4. Coolest thing you've gotten in the mail lately.
i think it goes back to easter candy. or perhaps randomly spontaneous books from my favourite internet friend. i love both chocolate and books.

5. Describe your favorite article of clothing.
i am not sure i have one. the shirt that popped immediatly into my head is an embroidered peasant style shirt. but, unfortunately, i never wear it because the threads are coming loose. so i always try to save it for "special" occasions, and nothing ever seems special enough.

6. Last video game played.
some z-men game that has currently caught jarrod's fancy. although, he won't let me play anymore because in two player mode, i always refuse to follow him. and i punch a lot of walls.

7. How many CDs do you have by any ONE artist or group?
on actual cd, it would probably be a tough competition between neil young, ron sexsmith and, yes, bon jovi

8. What's for dinner?
hamburger helper!

9. Do you have any collections?
i collect books. however, i prefer to call it a library.

10. What was the last board game you played?
rumoli.

11. Who won?
not me, so it doesn't matter.

12. Do you subscribe to any magazines?
I used to subscribe to popular science. i was such a nerdy kid. then i subscribed to Utne, because i wanted to be alternative. now, i read cosmo, us weekly, and people while waiting to buy my groceries.

13. Last movie you saw at a theater.
The Da Vinci code. i don't care what anyone says. i enjoyed it.

14. Last movie you watched at home.
Mirrormask

15. Do you have any special traditions only you or your family does?
i am sure we do. however, i can't think of anything off of the top of my head. i know we have a bunch...i remember missing them in belgium.

16. What was the last thing you created.
potato salad. the spices were a work of art.

17. Are you reading any books right now?
of course. a book about malazon by ian cameron esselmont. dry by augusten burrows. another memoir.

18. Do you remember your favorite book from childhood?
absolutely madeleine l'engel. but also terry brooks.

19. What do you do when you can't fall asleep?
lay in bed and dwell over whatever is keeping me from sleeping. sometimes i'll write about it. but mostly, i am a tosser and turner.

20. Have you ever randomly bumped into a actor/actress/or other generally famous person on the street?
i think i might be the only person alive who has never seen someone famous.

21. Are you more likely to read a book you've never read before if it's been made into a movie?
nope.

22. Have you discovered what podcasts are yet?
i know what they are. but i don't listen to them.

23. What is your favorite kind of food that you only get to have once a year?
once a year? what? the nice thing about being an adult (kinda) is that you don't have to live with these kind of dietary restrictions.

24. What's that noise?
Jarrod playing tiger woods and mocking his opponent...using his rather good scottish accent. i think he's losing.

25. Last dvd box set you bought?
bought? whaaat? julia and reebs gave me one for christmas. three years ago.

26. Are there any musical artists that you used to like but don't anymore because their style of music changed too much?
radiohead. maybe i shouldn't have admitted that.

27. Are there any covers you think are better than the original?
absolutely. johnny cage, covering NIN's Hurt. but that's just my opinion. and i like the original too.

28. What food(s) do you go to the store for ASAP when you run out?
rice pudding. milk. eggs. bread. yogurt.

29. Isn't there another appropriate response for "I love you" besides "I love you, too."?
right back at ya, baby!

30. Last new artist that you listened to and really liked.
i really really liked (and still like) the boy least likely to, from the very first time i heard them.

31. Last new one you hated.
hated? nothing off the top of my head.

32. In which country do you wish you'd been born?
anywhere in europe! damn you european union!

33. When was the last time you were scared shitless?
after realizing i didn't bring a key to get in the gate at the cottage, julia and i had to lug two coolers up in the pitch black. while walking, and chatting, a giant monster of unknown origin jumped out of the woods. jarrod got us good. but that's the fun kind of scared. i plan on seeing an inconvinient truth, sooner rather than later, and perhaps that'll do the trick.

34. Do you like it when old ladies refer to you as "Dear", or "Hon", or "Sugar"?
absolutely.

35. What is your favorite physical flaw.
my flat butt!

36. Share a random fact about yourself.
i still sleep with a baby blanket. his name is blankie. i dare you to tease me about it.

37. What's the best field trip you ever went on?
washington, band trip, grade twelve.

38. Have you ever dressed up for Halloween at work?
i worked at a day camp during highschool...so although it wasn't hallowe'en, i certainly dressed up.

39. Do you have any clothes that you pilfered or inherited from your parents?
my mother and i are not the same body type. that's the politically correct way for saying that she was very petite and that i'm an amazon.

40. How old is "old" to you?
eighty.

41. What was the last free thing you've gotten?
free t-shirts, thrown out into the stands at the st. mike's game.

42. What's your favorite black and white movie?
its a wonderful world. or something shirley temple.

43. What color would you like to bleed?
red is fine. who cares?

44. Do you know any Furries?
no.

45. If you have a wall calender, what kind is it?
two: one is a vintage arty movie posters and one is a spiderman calendar.

46. Have you ever been to a convention?
actually, i don't think so. unless flea markets count. kind of a used good convention.

47. If you were to dress up as a musician, which one would you be?
cher. god, that's so obvious.

48. Do you have a thing about ruining new stuff by personalizing?
absolutely. the best thing is when someone asks you where you got something and you get to say, "oh, actually, i made this."

49. Ever have those moments when you realize that you somehow just cheated death?
sometimes. once, jeff and i were climbing on this cliff. and we must have had some kind of temporary perception disorder because we were pretty sure that the drop was only about six feet. it was about twenty five. and then jeff got stuck. looking back, its still pretty scary.

50. Does it boggle your mind?
abso-fucking-lutely

what? no break?

2006-06-01T14:32:00.000-04:00

i have this thing that i do. in three hour lectures, we always get a break halfway. usually this lasts about ten minutes. (though in belgium it was known to go on for half an hour. hmm. and our classes were only two hours long there. did i mention that i love belgium?) so, sometimes, i skip the first half, show up at break, and then attend the second half of class. sometimes, i do the opposite. i leave at the break. however, this is not my preferred method. my reasoning is that a professor is pretty likely to notice when ten students leave at break. and subconciously, they probably look around and think, okay, these students still here, putting up with me, these are the students that i will be a little bit more lenient on. so, i plan on being in that lecture hall whenever this could possibly happen. because, quite frankly, i need all the breaks that i could possibly get. sometimes i wish i was a better student. but most times, i am okay with being average.

now, though, every once in a while, a hitch happens. like today. somehow, i couldn't make myself get out of bed. and then, while running, i only did half my work out, which rarely happens. (i figure once i am there, i might as well go all out.) everything seemed to take me longer today. so, i missed the first half of class. and i am in the inforum waiting for the break. which doesn't seem to be happening. well, at least i am not in the class. my attention span certainly does not last longer than two hours.

i wanna be running

2006-05-30T16:56:00.000-04:00

i have decided, and am announcing it here in order to commit myself, to run another half marathon. in october. in toronto. this is spurred on by two things: 1) i have not had an organized or consistent work out routine since i ran the half in ottawa a year ago and 2) because of that inconsistency, the weight lost that i experienced back then while training has snuck back on. i am not sure how or why, but it seems to have caught up to me all at once. so, here i go. i am setting myself this running goal because, well, i need a goal to get me out and running. (and by out and running, i mean down and to the tread mill). if anyone should share a desire to run in the over congested city come october, i'd be more than happy to have a running buddy. i've even run early mornings.

so here's the thing. right now, i am sitting in my living room in my work out clothes. why am i in my living room? because the small small gym that exists in my building is full. this pisses me off for a number of reasons. first is that when a girl gets it into her head to work out, she wants to work out right that second. secondly, the condo board spent some ridiculous amount of money redecorating the main entry of the condo (to the tune of $100 000, according to the rumour mill) and yet left the work out room untouched. it needs new treads! it needs more space! come on! (and damn it, if you are going to redecorate, hire a decent interior designer! the place looks worse!)

let me just say one thing: when i do get down there, evenutally, the damn air conditionning had better be on.

the artful podger*

2006-05-29T19:50:00.000-04:00

i have turned over a new leaf. this new leaf is one of frugality. see, despite previous expectations, i am not working as much as i had hoped. this should change when i have completed my training, but for now, its been a few weeks since i've had a pay check, so jarrod and i have done several things we've never really done before. such as: we went grocery shopping. we walk places that we normally would have taken a subway to. and i decided to do a few crafts, to add some colour and flair to the place, and because, with no money but lots of time, i needed something to keep my busy.

when he moved in, jarrod brought with him a rather old bookcase. i believe his grandpa picked it up by the side of the road. i decided to re-vamp it. because i have this philosophy: things that hold books are my friends. so i decided to podge it, my finish fix-it for all types of furniture. once upon a time, way back in second year, a friend of mine brought with her to ottawa an interesting book case. it was very attractive with a very unique finish. turns out, this finish was called "podging." podging is basically taking paper and covering it with podge (which itsef is half glue, half paper mache, and the end result is a tough finish that i would venture is even waterproof). shortly after seeing amanda's dresser, i decided i needed something podged. see, i am not extremely crafty (other than cross stitching back in the day), but i knew i could handle podging. so, i went out to The Papery, a very fancy paper store in the glebe. and i bought fifty bucks worth of paper. fancy green paper. and i podged a book case. i decided that i would podge jarrod's old book shelf. so we headed to china town where i bought this very pretty paper, six sheets of it, for eight dollars. i love china town. this is the work in progress:

since i knew i was going to be feeing crafty, i stopped by the inforum in order to coerce another girl who i knew could be coerced. we decided to make these cute little lanterns from Bust magazine. basically, paper mache over balloons. the original instuctions were for string lanterns, but tasha and lorien innovated and added tissue paper. this is the evidence that i have that yes, we spent saturday night crafting (and it was fun!):

however, i unfortunately have a terrible update to add to this crafting night. by the following evening, many of the balloons had popped, leaving caved in, irregularily shaped, ugly ugly ugly lanterns. i am sorry, tasha and lorien, that you had to find out this way. it seems like all of our hard work was a wash. i thought about posting pictures, but decided it would be too painful.

* title suggested by jarrod, rather spitefully, but to which i immediatly was fond. in fact, if i could go back in time, this whole blog would be about podging. bookshelves, crates, chairs, everything...

i think i hear my lake calling....

2006-05-22T23:03:00.000-04:00

the first cottage weekend of the summer is always a little iffy. the bugs are unpredictable, the weather is all over the board, the boat is still out of the water...it leaves one with few cottage activities. so we all adjusted. may long weekend at the larsh cottage is now: watch-movies-read-mulitple-books-eat-a-tonne-of-junk-food weekend. it goes over really well with everyone that shows up. and by everyone, i mean the die hard's that i can count on most of all: jarrod and julia t. both of them are may long weekend survivors, and, their sophomore venture was, i hope, as relaxing as expected.

there were a few hitches:

1) apparently all the grocery stores in bancroft have conglomerated into one large branch of the "no frills" chain. previously, there was a valumart and an IGA, two much more local stores. now, there's just blacked out lettering and "for lease" signs. i am hoping the employees simply shifted down the street. (now, one of the problems with this new development was a personal one. on the way up, jarrod mentionned that he was looking forward to seeing what was new in bancroft. julia and i shared a look that said, "silly, nothing ever changes in bancroft." as we drove up to the mego-centre, jarrod just looked at both of us..."nothing ever changes, eh, ladies?" we stopped with the words and with the looks.) so, we headed into no frills. jarrod was in charge of the meat purchases and managed to score a bunch of deals. i was liking the no frills experience. (we even got m & m's and skittles for $0.97. sweet.) unfortunately, we noticed a terrible, coma inducing aroma emanating from the fridge a few days later...and we realized that all those sweet deals were really "last day of sale items." apparently, there is something to that expiry date. instead of voting him off, jarrod proved himself an invaluable member of the team through excellent work on the barbecue and with the preparation of a giant tuna salad. also, we only had three people to and to lose such a character would have been tragic to say the least.

2) julia was rather rudely awoken one morning by our un-popular male neighbour. i won't mention any names (bud) but his rythmes with "dud." she described his as a "unfriendly, grumpy man," which, in julia-speak, is pretty much the most heinous swear word you could possibly come up with. he informed her that our lovely, treasured canoe had made a break for freedom. sure enough, she was out in the middle of the lake. a quick evaluation of options: swim to it? no way, the water would kill you. plus, both jarrod and i had been previously horrified by my uncle jim's story of a friend who, in order to retrieve a tossed ketchup bottle, had jumped into cold water, had muscles freeze on him, and was saved only because he happened to be able to touch bottom. there was no way i was swimming. should we follow it along the shore and hope that we can grab it? impossible as well. it just wasn't near shore. and there was no way we could physically get from our cottage to a shore anywhere near it. the solution: borrowing said neighbours canoe. jarrod and i frantically canoed out to it. then towed it to shore. and by towed, i mean struggled as we barely made any movement at all (despite furious paddling) for about twenty minutes. fortunately, a neighbour was nearby and she let us use her dock to tip it. (of course, she also asked if we knew how to canoe...i guess this was polite for "you guys are clearly idiots, let me give you a few tips.") it was much easier towing when the beast was not full of water. in conclusion, the old girl is now safe and sound, very very far from the water. how did she end up loose in the first place? well, i have a habit of just pulling her onto the deck. all the way. but yes, it is right next to the water. and yes, i suppose if it was extremely windy AND extremely wavey (okay, so those two go together), it is possible that she could slide into the water. but i never would have believed it if it didn't happen.

3) unable to do anything related to water (boat, cliff jump, swim, tube, etc.), unable to even really enjoy a camp fire, the three of us decided to do the only other thing we do at the larsh cottage. hike. oh yes, we hike. to one destination: the look out point. its not far from the cottage and provides a wonderful view for very little up hill climbing. (i guess you kinda start on high ground. anyway.) but, of course, i couldn't find it. i did find a nice little snowmobile trail. that was pretty wet. and it didn't help that it started to rain. but, in the end, we had a lovely walk. just not achieving the original purpose.

in all though, i think we all had a good time. jarrod and julia are two of my favourite people: the kind of people that you had just relax with, hang out, enjoy a beer and ten hot dogs, sitting quietly, reading, doing a puzzle, whatever takes your fancy. but then something happens, and you all laugh, and you realize just how in sync you all really are. it makes me realize how much time we waste on forcing these kinds of connections: through actions, or words, or whatever, when most of the genuine ones...just happen.

however, this does not let you all out of visiting the cottage this summer. i expect, nay, i demand a visit. because, even with, or especially because of, the hitches, the cottage is simply beautiful. think canadian shield, cottage on a rock face, a large lake dotted with islands, western exposure for brilliant sunsets...but yes, i will forgive you for waiting until warmer weather. and for the boat. (please fix the boat dad!)

just know that the title of "First in the Lake 2006" has already been claimed by jarrod. but only because he cheated and jumped in on 2. i hate being second.

my life with me

2006-05-15T17:22:00.000-04:00

j. and i ventured to windsor this weekend past. my auntie moira (the only auntie that i have though i have many aunts) turned eighty. my aunt beth hosted a delicious dinner. grammy bought two balloons, a thirty, and a fifty, because there was no eighty available. i am not sure if this is becasue it was sold out or because they assume that by the age of eighty a balloon is no longer appreciated. i myself, believe this to be some kind of blasphemy, as balloons are somehow inherently cheerful and wonderful.

this is the extent of me being interesting. lately i have been feeling extremely lazing, extremely boring, and extremely dull. and yet, very very enjoyable.

these are things that make me feel a little bit more content:

1. i recently bought the new steven erikson book, entitled, the bonecollectors. this series is now five books long, each of a thousand pages, and is easily the best fantasy novel series ever written. yes, there are others worth reading. but this one kicks ass. its complicated, sophisticated and requires a deep committment from the reader. all things that i appreciate in my reading.

2. i got two new tables. the first is a little end table that i bought at rona with gift certificates. the second is an over-the-bed number from ikea. the reason that this table is so perfect is because i spend a lot of time in bed. reading, doing homework (who are we kidding?), eating dinner, watching movies...the bed is the centre of it all. even when j. comes over, the bed is still the centre of it all. the amount of times all those things that i just listed occur simply doubles. and now we can happily set up ship with plates, computers, speakers, etc. and still be comfortable and organized. it is very appealing.

3. julia t., j. and i are heading to the cottage for the long weekend. its our first trip up for the summer and i am extremely excited. i am looking forward to a daring jump into the water, nice campfires, a lot of barbecue-ing (burgers, hot dogs, sausages), a nice walk, maybe a run, lots and lots of relaxing.

now, for today, i am going to eat some frozen entree for dinner, watch a movie, and then head out for a friend's birthday. j. will be here by the time i get back (counting down the days until he's here every night) and i shall sleep like a baby.

hey, i warned you: boring.

i'm a miserable creature

2006-05-04T16:38:00.000-04:00

i'd like to submit the above picture to demonstrate that i am a completely self-absorbed spoiled brat. see, i feel like this blog has a tendency to bring out the best in me. i get to wax poetical on any topic i so desire, and most of the time, this turns into semi-dramatic, yet wholesome, yearnings for love, life and home. but this thoughtful girl is not the alli of real life. the alli of real life, is, quite frankly, a bit of a bitch. i am pretty annoying, bratty, and obnoxious. now, i'll admit, i have my moments. sometimes i can be hilariously funny. sometimes i can be insightful. a lot of the time, my girlfriend's and i sit around and discuss how terribly others are dressed. i can be pretty spiteful. i also have a tendency to freeze up or crack a joke when something emotional is going on. i make myself the centre of everything, even when, obviously, it has nothing to do with me. this is only a selection of a much longer list.

but, every once in a while, photos such as the above slap me out of oblivion and shake me out of my ignorance. i get a full blown glimpse of myself as others see me: such as my mother, who is snapping this photo. terrible isn't it? do you see my face? what a grump.

fortunately, there seem to be some people who can put up with me. i should be nicer to these people. if i was the type to keep new year's resolutions, and say, if it was new year's, i would make it a resolution to me nicer.

unfortunately, those same people who i should be nicer to also know that i just don't have it in me.

oh dear.

the call of the highlands

2006-05-01T16:38:00.000-04:00

seeing as how it was a bank holiday weekend (may day), my dad had today off. with this in mind, mom decided we should jaunt off somewhere for the weekend. the plan was to see stonehenge and avebury, but we thought the roads would be mayhem. and well, we know firsthand how the three of us do in traffic: on our drive back from paris to leuven, we almost all died. mutual murder. if that's possible. we are all too opinionated. and controlling. so, instead, we decided to take the train to go to edinburgh. mom booked us a few trips, a bed and breakfast, and a train ticket and we were all set to go.

on saturday, we did a day bus tour up to loch ness. unfortunately, while we passed all kinds of wonderful sites, such as stirling castle, we did not get to stop very often. of course, we did get to stop at hamish the scottish cow. pronounced "coo." because, well, because they don't really look like cows, so they call them "coos." seriously. straight from the tour guide's mouth. which is practically gospel.

which, in my opinion, is ridiculous (so ridiculous that i had to take a picture). i don't need to see cows. i need to see castles. we did get to stop for quite a while at loch ness. we had just enough time to run into a grocery store, grab a sandwhich, and get on to a very busy boat for a one hour tour.

here is my proof that i saw nessie:

it was actually pretty cute. they had this decal on the window and if you lined that camera up just do, it kinda looks like the lock ness monster. with baby. you can't really see the baby in this one, but its there. apparently there was a movie filmed, years ago, about loch ness. the hilarious part: they didn't film it at loch ness. i now know why: its pretty unremarkable. its a lake. in scotland. nice scenery, but no ruins (there is an abbey), no old castles, nothing. its beautiful, as are most of the lochs and the highlands, but its not "special."

the tour guide makes the tour. this is a fact. in greece, mom and i had to suffer through seven days of this horrible old woman named "effie." i have no idea how to spell it. it was pronounced "F-ee." she was sour and boring and lead the group around by holding up an umbrella. if i could trace my resistance to authority back to one moment, it was would be the first time she uttered, "this way group."

on our saturday tour, we had both driver and guide. it was a long long tour, with too much driving. it was kind of how i feel about churches now: you've seen one, you've seen them all. this is absolutely not true, i just suffer from church overkill and now can no longer feel that sense of sacred space. though i do not consider myself spiritual, i do believe that churches are hallowed places. and i used to be able to feel it. now, i am just terribly desensitized. after six hours on the bus, i was desensitized by the highlands. i could feel it happening, and just like churches, i hated that it was.

the best tidbit of scottish trivia gleaned from the tour was not from the guide, but from a reference book of the various clans. as i looked up mackinstosh, my grandfather's name, (both my maternal grandparents are scottish) it listed the typical: flower, motto, and a brief history. which included our feuds. we mackintosh's love to feud. especially with....the cameron's! (my boyfriend is a cameron) jarrod and i are freakin' modern day romeo and juliet's. tristan and isolde's. the main characters from west side story.

our sunday tour, then, was in every way better than the first. we were not traveling as far, so we did not have to spend as much time on the bus. get this: we had a whole hour and a half for lunch! holy moly! second, the tour guide/driver was a young-ish scottish man, who, unfortunately had the habit of sounding like mrs. doubtfire. now, i didn't notice this myself: my mother did. actually, her pointing it out ruined him for me. he was just so soft and gentle. like mrs. doubtfire. damn it.

we also got to visit stirling castle. we had one of those audio tours.

it was lovely. i could have stayed there much longer than the time allotted. indeed, we were even late getting back to the tour bus. which is crazy. because i am absolutely insane about not putting other people out. this means, not being late. not talking on cell phones. not putting my seat back on airplanes when i am not sleeping. moving seats if i am by myself and a twosome wants to sit together. (i like to believe that what goes around comes around).

on the way home, the tour guide (also named alli) quizzed us: who was the author of chitty chitty bang bang? i answered: ian fleming. now, the thing is, i knew the answer because the tour guide the day before had told us. (he also wrote the james bond stories and the school he set them at is in edinburgh) the tour guide was astonished that someone knew the answer. and one of the other ladies on the tour that we had been chatting with hollered out that i was studying to be a librarian. victory to alli (as in me). no one had to know where i really got the information from. but of course, mom, being honest, told the bus driver where i got the information from. no, she couldn't let me have one. nope. honest honest honest. the bus driver laughed and told us that Gavin (the previous bus driver) was the one who told him as well...i am comforted by the thought that perhaps he would have put it together on his own, in one forehead stamping moment.

i am sad to have left scotland. mom asked me at one point how i felt traveling through the highlands, this being the land of my ancestors after all. i said that it was just scenery, but that isn't really what i was feeling. i was more just feeling crabby and not sentimental. but the truth was, i did feel something in the highlands. something that i certainly do not feel in england. can blood really call out to blood? well, if a atheistic twenty four year old can feel humbled in a churched, i am willing to believe that something inside of us can recognize what our minds cannot. or, maybe, i just think it would be wonderful if that could be true. but that is a whole other posting and i think my mom wants her computer back.

one last picture: edinbugh castle, from afar.

top five

2006-04-26T19:28:00.000-04:00

while traveling, i often find myself reminiscing about travels past. and so, i find that i would like to illuminate the cities of my travels that i have enjoyed visiting most.

1) Prague, Czech Republic
I visited prague in the spring of 2003 with my friend john. unlike most of my ventures on my exchange year, i was not surrounded by a gaggle of friends (we usually traveled in groups). after a rather difficult time getting visas (we had to travel from leuven to brussels several times), i was simply hoping that it would prove to be worth the trouble. it did. first of all, prague is extremely scenic. as with most cities that have rivers, it was beautiful. lots of hills and lots of archectural adaptions to fit these hills. being ex-communist bloc, it has an extremely interesting history. the hostel was nothing to write home about. except for perhaps the location. very central. we were there shortly after easter, and in the main square, there were the remnants of a very festive spring holiday. think streamers in trees, many stalls of goods, lots of people. i took some of my favourite pictures from atop the church beside the castle. i would remember names, except that, unfortunately, it was a long time ago. usually there is at least once drunken story that comes out of a weekend away. however, with prague, i don't believe there are any. which means i liked the city for the city itself. bizarre. i do remember spending hours looking for a flea market which turned out to be simply a market of junk. i am always disappointed when the shopping i expected does not pan out. i loved prague. it was cheaper than many other cities. it was full of attractive, friendly people. it has interesting legends (i couldn't get enough of the golem), many levels of old city and new city, and it was bright. i remember that. there was colour there.

2) London, England
I loved london when i was here in 2002. my dad was working and i tagged along. he was staying at a hotel out by the airport, so i had to take the tube in each day. i felt like a commuter. i know which tube to take, which tunnel. i had enough time in london that it felt familiar. i did most of the touristy things: british museum (rosetta stone), sherlock holmes museum (i still have the photo of me in the get up), the beatles store, tate modern, the millenium bridge, the london tower, buckinghamd palace, big ben, i did it all. i even saw a show. i shopped, i bought, i coffee'ed. i loved the archetecture, the style of the people, the random streets. this time, i did not play the tourist game very much. i still loved london for all the above reasons. but i now doubt whether i would choose to live there. if not for the people, i would.

3) Budapest, Hungary
okay, new year's 2002-03. jane, john, mike t, heather and i had been traveling for a few weeks now. after a terrible debacle wherein john and i were separated from the others in some no name town in hungary, we finally found the other three at the main station. in the company of the infamous zig. and they had all been drinking. but we had the most random fun. we stayed at zig's flat. i never really figured out what the deal with zig was. apparently, he maintained his rent by catching backpackers at keletti station. all he seemed to do was drink and get high. but he was warm and friendly and took us to little pubs and let us warm up in his friends kiosks at the station. we even watched him get into a fight. okay, looking bad, that seems like more good than bad. but somehow, it aboslutely wasn't. budapest is hands down the most beautiful city in europe. i don't care what anyone says. it simply isn't reproduced anywhere. its amazing. this is the only city in europe where i was ticketed on the subway. which is terribly ironic, because it is the only city where i bought a ticket. (the reasoning: who knows what the punishment would be) but, apparently, we took the wrong ticket for the wrong connection, and sure enough, got busted. it was seven euros as a fine. at the time, it was a real pain. all of us were running out of money. budapest was one of the poorer cities that i visited. there seemed to be a culture of alcohol, but, i might have been exposed to that because of who we were staying with. there were more homeless people in the train station, and a general sense of seediness, than anywhere else. but, the people were friendly. they even allowed a restaurant to run a buffet which, along with food, included alcohol. i am rather proud to admit that i, and john, got kicked out. apparently there was a time limit.

4) Berlin, Germany
spring 2003. this was my only girls trip with stef and saskia. perhaps that is why it remains one of my favourite places. my year abroad was largely charged with testosterone. i didn't make any close female friends until spring time, which is a real shame, especially because i have since learned that i missed out on a lot of fun. we took a walking tour of berlin to help us acquaint ourselves with the city. and then we drank ourselves silly in the hostel bar. i remember having a great deal of fun in that city. despite the history, it was an exciting vibrant place. hitler's bunker no longer exists, the wall has been torn down (though you can still buy pieces)...it has a whole new future. i bought a pair of birkenstocks, direct from their home. why don't i remember more about berlin? i'll simply have to go back. i remember expecting so much from this city. how could it not possibly be incredible? i wondered if you could feel the history. if somehow, the people reflected it. i was disappointed. like most places, people forget. they adapt. but some moments, it felt very real. the remnants of the berlin wall are rather terrifying. there is no marker over the bunker of hitler for fear that someone would want to turn it into some kind of shrine. i did not find any visible marker of nazism in berlin. but, for the most part, people were willing to talk about it. they just didn't want to honour it.

5) lagos, Portugal
spring 2004. i visited this rather random little portugese town. there is more english spoken here that portugese. it is almost entirely populatd by tourists of university age. and it is a complete blast. beautiful beaches, beautiful water, beautiful cliffs. kids would tell stories of coming to europe for three months and spending two and a half in lagos. they'd make money handing out flyers for bars, getting extra for the number of people they brought in. this was my european victory lap, the summer after i returned from belgium. julia and i, who quickly partnered up with katie and april, beached and swam and went out. i even won a drinking contest. no joke. i have the t-shirt to prove it. sagres was a break from europe: it was a break from hours of walking and touring, of seeing everything you had to see, of forcing yourself into old churches, into museums. you have to earn sagres.

are there others that i enjoyed? absolutlely. and i didn't put on this list the cities that i lived in--leuven, of course, will always have a special place. but the places that i love most are ottawa and bowmanville. places that i grew up, that i loved, that i learned. those other cities, though incredible, are not home to me. and for the first time, perhaps in my whole life, i am realizing how important that sense of home is. and i think you might find it with family, friends, and love, rather than with archetecture, history, and bars. although i love to visit, i love to do so for more than one reason: to see and experience to what i have never seen or experienced before, but also, to remind me, that home is a wonderful thing. (isn't it so much harder when pieces of it are spread out, across the country, across the world?)

2006-04-25T18:23:00.000-04:00

i think they hate americans in britain. maybe canadians too. but i do know that attitudes change when people hear our accents, the friendliness lowers, the smile disappears. this is not me being paranoid: others have noticed it as well. on my first morning there, before i could check into the room, before my parents arrived, i was sitting on a couch. i was sitting on a couch because i had been up for a long long time, i had already gone out for breakfast and wondered around for two hours, and all i wanted was to sit and to sleep. the waiter didn't offer me anything at all. not once. everyone else, coffee sir? tea ma'am? but not me. i am also going to blame it on me looking poor. it was a pretty ritzy place. i hate that i feel that way because it is certainly not the way i felt the last time i was here. perhaps i am simply being too sensitive.

however, once inside the room, oh, the sleeping was soooo good. mom and dad arrived a few hours later and we headed out for indian food. on my last visit, dad forced me to wander for ages looking for an indian restaurant. we finally found a place that is still the best indian food i have ever eaten. it was the only meal i could eat my first night back. it was no match for the dinner of my memory, but it was pretty good.

dad headed off to work in the morning, and mom and i wandered around. of course, this wandering was hampered by my own stupidity: i have very sensitive skin. change my laundry detergent, and i rash. well, i was wearing a band aid. for a day. when i took it off, it wasn't pretty. turns out, i am allergic to band aids. its not pretty. blistered, rashy, a terrible mix of itch and pain. of course, limping around all day killed my poor calf muscle. thankfully, taveling with the folks is different than traveling with friends: mom could afford to buy us metro passes. and i am happy to report that we still managed to walk (gimp) around for hours. and i bought a pair of wonderful green golas.

these are them:

i have a love affair with golas. you might remember that i have an extremely difficult relationship with converse. also, with addidas. but gola has been nothing but loyal and true. no pain, no blisters, and long lasting. this is my third pair. the attraction is multi-fold: they come in bright colours, they aren't terribly ridiculously expensive, and i have never seen them for sale in north america. so, when people comment on them, i get to say, "oh, i got these in europe." please don't think that i am not concious of being a snob.

today, mom and i did the typical bus tour. seriously, i was in pain. it was freezing and rainy and pretty miserable. we pretended it was all okay. but i did have to buy a scarf, even with all the pretending.

there were some highlights:

1) M:I III is opening in london today and outside our hotel, in leicester square, there was a some kind of premiere going on. so, i had the chance to see tom cruise. i didn't take it, but the opprotunity was there. now, how many people can say that?

2) we went to a pub today called 'ye olde cheshire cheese.' it dates from something ridiculous like the 16th C. which always makes me wonder how people could have been sitting in these rooms, laughing, drinking, being, before the country which my grandparents grew up was even discovered.

3) i am in lytham for the first time tonight. it was exactly what i expected and, of course, not what i expected. i am looking forward to having my own room tonight. both dad and i seemed to have bouts of insomnia last night (i blame the trundle bed and jet lag). and the thought "hearing people sleeping right now is not making this any easier." but, the house, and its space, are wonderful and beautiful and homey and i am amazed and how nicely my parents have settled in here. i am looking very forward to exploring the little town (and library!) tomorrow.

4) we took the first class train back to lytham. swanky. i already said that traveling with parents is vastly different right? let me emphasize that point again. we relaxed in a cushy lounge beforehand (mind you, it took some prodding for my mom to remember there was such a lounge..."is there somewhere we can relax and have coffee?" "just take away coffee alli, no where to sit" "oh really?" "oh wait, the lounge!" we had a good laugh. she'd even been in the lounger before.) and had a table with service for the two and a half hour ride. very relaxing.

the next few days shall be rather relaxing. i plan on reading at least nine books.

i apologize if this isn't english

2006-04-23T04:40:00.000-04:00

there was a period of time there where i almost felt that i was lying about having "traveling" as part of my blog name. fortunately, that time has passed because i write this from an internet cafe (paying for the internet makes me feel dirty) in england. rainy, dreary, foggy england.

its about six in the morning my time, so i am running on fumes. of course, there was not a wink of sleep to be had on the flight over. first of all, although it was a large plane, apparently it was not as large as was expected. evidently, 747's come in different sizes. and ours had fifty less seats than expected. which means that fifty people had to stay home (i am sure with a nice bribe...once, a friend was checking into a flight which was overbooked and they offered him $500.00 in air canada money). which also means that not a single seat was empty. lovely. i was seated beside a mom and son. they were french. and nice. and the kid was silent and slept most of the way. the people who were idiots were the swedish hockey team flying home. three of whom were in the row in front of us. now, i don't mean to make generalizations about a whole nation, however, it seems to me that there needs to be some airplane etiquette taught here: you don't recline your seat unless you are sleeping. this is the ONLY time it is permitted. why? because it makes the person behind you completely and totally uncomfortable. there is not much space to begin with and the recline takes away any sense of personal space that one was left with. now, the french lady with the little boy, at the beginning of the flight, asked me if i wanted to switch her for the window because she'd be getting up and down. i said, hell yes, because i ain't getting up and down. thing is, no sooner had we done that that jackass in front of her (in my original seat) reclines. asshole. and, i think it was a broken seat, because it was a good three inches lower that the one beside it. (also reclined. damn swedes.) she actually complained to the stewardess, but really, her english was not great. so, being the ass i am, i took over. the stewardess refused to do anything because it was a "sleeper" flight. but the point was: it was still light out. the man was not sleeping. the seat was broken. i was pissed and i felt bad for her and i was just blown away that some people are complete idiots. the stewardess said that i would have to ask the man to move his chair myself. so i did. and he did. but last time i checked, it is okay for the stewards to make polite iquiry's on their patrons behalves. now i remember why i hate flying so much. but, after all that, i think i feel better.

the rest of the flights was pretty uneventful. some movies, some food, and then i was here. of course, the hotel, which said it would do its best to get us a room early, had nothing. so, i am wandering around. without a map. in a city i don't really remember because the last time i was here was four years ago. holy moly. so i grabbed some breakfast (i can never remember where to tip and where not to...britain? tipping? yes/no? i left a pound just in case...). i passed a library (always a welcome place for vagabonds such as myself to spend time without molestation) but it doesn't open till eleven. it seems i picked the wrong day of the week to show up in london.

i think i just felt the room move. am i still on the plane?

i am certainly needing some sleep right now.

i will say though, wandering around trafalgar square, around charing cross road, well, i just love london. still and forever, it will remain my favourite city. i cannot wait to walk around with my mom this time (last time it was just dad and me, and i was left mostly to my own devices because he was working). there are some great places that i cannot wait to see again. and i am sure that there are so many new places yet to be explored.

i'll post some pictures later...

slowly going crazy am i

2006-04-19T18:05:00.000-04:00

these are things that make me feel like i am losing my mind:

1) I have forgotten whether i have finished the last two books i have read. seriously. oftentimes, when i know i will have a long stretch of time to read, and i only have a few pages left, i will grab a brand new book. i mean, why risk having nothing to do? but the thing is, i cannot remember if i finished the other two. i tried to remember what happened at the end (one was promised to be worth reading because the ending was a big pay off...and i cannot remember said big ending and yet i would swear that i finished it)...and i can't. so the question is, did i read it and forget it? or did i not go back and read them? seriously.

2) i lost my cell phone yesterday. i had it. and then i didn't. i went to use it...and it was gone. did i just put it down somewhere? did it fall out of my bad? these are things i will never know.

3) way back in september, i was assigned an inforum binder with policies and procedures. i was returning it to FIS yesterday, after a nice lunch with tasha, when i realized that i did not have it. i just simply did not have it. did i leave it on the rock i was waiting on? did i leave it at the restaurant? when? i have no idea.

4) i didn't pick up my passport. i knew i wanted to head to oshawa to finish up my final paper, so i wanted to pick it up before i left. and then, i was on the train, and i realized that i had not. how could i forget the one thing i need to get on a plane this saturday? clothes, i can buy. blankie, i'd miss but i'd get over it. money, hey, i am going to visit my folks, remember? but my passport? damn it! (don't worry mom, i am going to pick it up tomorrow, its not too big a deal, i just wanted it sooner rather than later)

now, please keep in mind that this all happened in one day. see, i told you i was going crazy.

a librarian's love story

2006-04-16T21:01:00.000-04:00

Graduate School. Library Science. The University of Iowa. Cataloguing class. The first three items in this series were no trouble for me; i had chosen them with anticipation. after two years of teaching junior high school English, i was finally back in school to become a schoo librarian. life seemed to be progressing nicely except for one thing--cataloguing class. why did i have to learn cataloguing? school libraries bought their cards (there were cards in those days). and weren't the people who prodeuced them in places like the library of congress? didn't they check their work? why would i have to check cards before they were filed? would someone justify this waste of time? surely there were classes more pertinent to my professional growth and development.

anyone who has worked in any professional setting can see the underlying cause of my anguish. i was not doing well with cataloging. my reasoning was not synchronized with the reasoning of the instructor (who was quite effective in teaching everyone but me, it seemed). while i could live with the knowledge that i wouldn't make my career as a cataloger, i couldn't live with the knowledge that my hard-won D was in jeopardy as i approached the final exam. that would mean repeating cataloguing class.

one evening in a study carrel, i arranged the dewey volumes like a stone wall. i gloomily started work on the sample text sets provided by the instructor, complete with a list of the correct dewey numbers to be consulted after i finished my own list. how remarkably different our lists consistently were. my goal of raising my D to even a C (let's forget about a B) eroded with every page turned in the dewed volumes. i hardly looked up when another student looked over the top of the carrel. when i finally realized that my facade of busyness wasn't credible, i looked up to see one of the third-semester students looking curiously at me. i scowled inwardly. outwardly, i have a noncommitatal half smile that said, "hi, i see you. now go away. i'm busy."

"It must be the dewey exam."

Boy, you couldn't fool those third-semester students. they'd seem it all.

"how's it going?"

I leaped out of my chair, grasped the lapels of his jacket, leaned over and scremed, "How's it going? HOW'S IT GOING? how do you THINK its going?"

This is what i did mentally.

"OK," I said.

"Are you having trouble?" he said. bright, this one was. i felt like i'd been pulled through a keyhole and must have looked the same. Time to 'fess up.

"I'm not getting this and i'm working very hard at maintaining a grade that is on par with a beginning tennis class i took during my freshman year at college. not that they are the same, but darn it, i really don't see why i can't get it, and if you have any suggestions as to how i might begin to get it, I'm open to them. otherwise, i really have to get back to work."

That last sentence was spoken in my head. he didn't deserve quite that much.

"I remember the dewey test."

Good.

"there's another way to do it, you know."

There was, and he showed me. it wasn't a radically different approach, just another way of thinking about the rules, the subject materials, and the logic (now there was a new thought) of cataloguing. and gradually, it began to work for me.

The rest, as the cliche goes, is history. we went out for coffee after i finished studying, he continued regular tutoring sessions, there was more coffee, and thirty years later, my husband is still offering the same observation, which i have come to respect greatly.

"there's another way to do it."

There is always another way to do anything if we choose to see it. i found that that third semester student always had another way of seeing anything. each way involved thinking not about the materials, policies and budgetary constraints that shape services, but rather about the people for whom those services exist, whether those are young people who can barely see over the school library circulation desk, university students who don't know how badly they need the library, or physicians researching vital topics in a medical library. can we borrow ideas from business, art, engineering, science, politics, music or literature? of course. bicycle mechanics? why not? cooking? certainly. it works because there is another way to do it. always.

by the way, i got a B in cataloguing.

***************
Nancy L. Chu

in:

Chu, Felix T. (2005) There's Another Way to Do It: Reflections on Librarianship. Toronto: The Scarecrow Press.

where have all the bloggers gone?

2006-04-16T18:36:00.000-04:00

well, today, i was slightly bored at work so i figured i would head over to the FIS1311 web site where the blogs of all of my classmates were listed. rememeber? we were all supposed to make one at the beginning of the semester? i am pleased to report that excluding yours truly, there are about three active bloggers. out of a class of probably seventy. there is no real reason for this observation, i just thought it was interesting. apparently blogging isn't for everyone. but why? why aren't people, without any control of their own, drawn to the web, forced to write down rather incoherent ramblings for others to read?

also, today ian has done a pretty good job of ruining hybrids for me. fortunately, it has not destroyed my belief in fairies, mermaids. and elves. or any other kind of creature that has a secret eco-system completely devoted to their own race that co-exists with our own, invisibly and without conflict. and who only appear to believers. like me.

another confession: i have herpes. okay, well, i have a cold sore on my lip. i find myself being shockingly horrified of myself every time i look in the mirror, despite the contstant reassurances of boyfriend, friend, and family, that "it's not that bad." and that, you know, 50-80% of the population suffers from cold sores. and other such statistics. i don't think a girl knows how vain she is until something goes wrong with her face. i am going to go sit at the clinic tomorrow and hope for some super expensive magic medicine that will both make me better and erase the stigma of said affliction.

i just had to go make myself feel better by eating some laura secord easter egg. which, for the first time in my life, were not bought for me by my loving mother but were purchased by myself. she's in england, so she has an excuse, but easter ain't easter without those creme eggs. cadbury? for the peasants. i need the high class shit.

on the up side, i leave for england on saturday. i am very very excited. it is going to be a real vacation. which i haven't had in what feels like forever but is really probably only nine months or so. i have a very selective memory which leads me to feel more hard done by than perhaps i really am.

its all coming up alli

2006-04-12T22:56:00.000-04:00

for once, i feel like i have a plan.

its been a while since i have felt that way.

i have been struggling over the decision of whether or not to live/work in england this summer, have been stressing out over whether i will survive this week of papers/exams, and worried that i will not find a job, in either toronto or lytham.

however.

i partnered up for research methods and that has worked out fabulously. its eleven o'clock the night before the paper is due and we're pretty much finished. we even editted.

and, i interviewed for a job this morning. i think it may well have been one of the most difficult job interviews i have ever survived. after managing to answer, at least satisfactorily, several technical questions, today there was role play. fortunately, i have been on the spot at bell. had i not, i am not sure i would have had a successful interview.

fortunately, things seem to have gone well and i was offered the position this afternoon.

so, all in all, the summer is coming together and is lucking absolutly wonderful. i am visiting my parents for two weeks, jarrod is moving in soon, i have a job, i signed up for a course.

seriously. things are looking up.

late night, numero uno

2006-04-12T03:17:00.000-04:00

its 3:15 am.

i have written six pages of my literature review. i am pretty sure its crap but i am holding onto hope that it might be brilliant. the good news is that although this mofo (sorry love, but i had to prove myself right) is due on thursday, now that i have a partner, i have half the work. so instead of handing in a paper that i did not even proofread, i can focus on creating one six page decent paper. and by decent i mean more editing will be done than simply running spell check.

please note: every thirty seconds or so, the boys' toilet makes some kind of sighing noise. seriously. i stood there and watched it for a little while. it doesn't really flush, it kind of just, refreshes. i think it sad because it has gone unfixed for so long. (you have to pull on the innards to make it flush. i don't really care because i never do my business in there.)

in other news, jeff cleaned the kitchen tonight. i know. seriously.

yes, i know i should go to bed. but see, i drank this really big cup of coffee before...and i should not have. i know this now. because i am still pretty wide awake. although, sometimes, i do get the urge to just fall asleep. you know, without cleaning up any of the many articles that are floating around my bed currently.

hey tasha, how many articles do you have in your lit review?

also, i have an interview tomorrow morning. i am a little bit nervous. first of all, the woman, very friendly, called me based not on my graduate student status but based on the fact that i had worked at bell. yes, its for the help desk at U of T. i never thought of the help desk as being the family business, but apparently, in a weird way, it is. she has given me two phone interviews and tomorrow is the role playing exercise. i have given up hoping that i do well and have begun hoping that i don't have giant bags under my eyes.

my mom just sent me an email. how bad is it that she's already up for the day when i haven't gone to bed yet?

shoots from the roof

2006-04-10T22:10:00.000-04:00

feeling rather serious...but just for a minute

2006-04-10T11:57:00.000-04:00

was watching the view today. yes, i admit it. i have a strange fascination with the cattiness of five rather unintelligent women debating "the issues that affect us all." barf. today, they had a panel of three young men, all of whom were debating whether or not to enter the catholic (is that imlied? i put it in just in case it wasn't) priesthood. (apparently, there is a special on this sunday.) while genuinely admiring, it was barabara walters who finally asked the question that we all wanted to know the answer to: before choosing a life of celibacy (or, "a life of joy," as one boy put it), have they had sex?

i loved this moment.

one boy said: "well, i have done everything but have intercourse."

uh, in my books, that's a sin. i mean, there's not procreation there. why, that's just all done...for...gasp...fun! sinner! kids today are so loose and easy. if i had a stone for every time i saw someone sinning...this whole town would be bruised and broken.

Walters pointed out that before discarding such a large part of being human, they should at least try it. one boy's pointed rebuttal was "barbara, if i wanted to marry you, would i have to have sex with elizabeth and meredith first?" (uh, hell yes, i know everyone's names)

i love that their answers were all rehearsed. and had been said many times previous. probably by an authority figure. i have this image of them being "taught" what to say.

does this even answer the question? no, it is pointed avoidance. barbara wasn't telling you to stick it to every women you see: she is asking whether you would have sex with the woman you are to marry. so no, before marrying me, you don't have to have sex with my friends or the other women who happen to be cohabitating in a room with me. actually, i'd prefer if you don't. that would only make for rather awkward dinner parties.

before you marry me, the only person you have to worry about "experimenting" it with is me. apparently, these priest boys don't realize that sex happens in different ways and manifests itself differently in different people. what do couples fight about? i would argue: money, housekeeping, sex. and maybe not in that order. modern girl that i am, I simply cannot imagine starting a life with someone before figuring out if we match in the bedroom. apparently, they haven't suffered the (unfortunately) lasting shame of rejection, the frustration of unmatched moods, the oddness of things that "turn people on," and just how important a healthy sex life is to a healthy mental and emotional life. i don't mean to make it all about sex: this is also about love and commitment and trust. to jump into something blindly, on any front, seems to just be asking for trouble. a marriage is enough work and compromise without making it harder than it need be. thankfully, birth control and condoms have reduced the risk for pregnancy and STI's, thus removing the danger of something unwanted. in this day and age, it seems almost ridiculous to jump to buying the movie when you can simply download it before you invest.

When the boys were asked about whether a priest should be celibate, they all agreed that yes, they should. because "you can't have two spouses." one boy said. "people always think of what you are giving up, not what you are gaining." "choosing christ is choosing a life of joy." wow. that christ love is some powerful drug. and fortunately, the church has a wonderful track record about how successful repressing sexual urges are.

"the catholic church educates, feeds, clothes, and saves more people daily than any other organization." another quote. unfortunately, i would also argue that it represses, ignores, fakes, shames, and disrespects more people than any other organization. all three of these boys proudly claim to have participated in demonstrations outside abortion clinics, that they do not believe women should take birth control, and that homosexuality is a sin. i fear this.

belief and faith are wonderful things. there are so so many positive examples of spiritual (of all faiths), people who use their lives as powerful examples of decency and charity. these are not people who turn their backs on whole elements of their personalities, they are people who choose their own truths and live by them as best they can while respecting the truths of others. they try and they fall and they fail and they succeed, like all of us do. and their examples are so much more powerful than those from simply preach from a top a high horse, who don't seem to see human fallibility. i learn much more about myself from falling off my bike than i do from cruising downhill.

the horse is hoarse

2006-04-09T14:38:00.000-04:00

i am sick. my throat is sore, i have a terribly snotty nose, my voice is hoarse. its pretty awesome. and this is because when i feel sick i feel less bad about not doing school work. whereas most other people would probably be upset and stressed out, i had no problems enjoying a whole day of sleeping yesterday. seriously. i was in bed by eight. and i didn't wake up till eleven this morning.

a few ottawa friends were down for a visit this weekend. i love love love having visitors. its just a nice break from a routine. and i find that as i get older, guests are more understanding that, as a guest, even as a good friend, the person that they are visiting still has a life. for instance, yesterday, john, theresa, and heather wanted to walk around. i wanted to die. and the three of them, kind hearted souls that they are, mercifully left me to moan and groan in peace, with jarrod. when i was younger, it would have been expected, come anything, that i would have spent every second of every day with them. and probably would have been expected to be endlessly entertaining. it was nice to wake up and have them sitting in the living room.

it was nice to joke around with john. honestly, i am not sure if ever in my whole life, i have ever laughed as much as when living in beligum and could watch, any time i wanted, the incredible exuberant antics of mike, john, geoff, bill, oli, and drew. seriously. if i had five bucks for every time i felt like i was going to pee my pants, i'd have, like a nine thousand bucks. this weekend, theresa was mentionning that she worked on a ranch for a few summers and somehow that got us to the subject of how horses travel. Theresa mentionned that they did, of course, i mean, how else would there be equestrian sports in the olympics? or big world cup races? or movies like hidalgo? we all agreed that horse travel was common. and then john said, "wow, i mean, if flying on airplanes is difficult for me, it must be absolute hell on the horses." I looked at him. and then said, "well, john, its not like they are flying coach." at which point we looked at each other and burst out laughing, not being able to get the idea of a horse sitting in coach out of my head, you know, sitting up right, snorting, hooves clacking, but acting like a human being. "um, stewardess? i don't think i can lower my tray for supper...whinney." you know, reading the paper, getting up to go to the bathroom, etc. i am thinking glasses, some kind of vest, and a newspaper..."these seats are hell on my back!"

i do miss ottawa and so i think this might be especially why i enjoy having people from there visit me. its just a little tiny glimpse of that old town and that seems to satisfy me. i can't have ottawa all the time, but i can have it one weekend every couple of months. why does undergrad seem so long ago? i am not sure i will ever get over not having the people who were in my life every day for four years not being in my life every day...it seems like one of those things, like selling the family home in Bowmanville, that if you (I) think (thought) about too long or too hard, you will just cry and cry and be sad and sad. but if you don't think about it, if you just glaze over it, you can deal with it and carry on and be happy. so i try not to think about it and i try to enjoy the moments that i do get with those people: over email, on the phone, or sometimes, wonderfully, in person. and sometimes, when i am in bowmanville, i drive by the old house and i remember it. and although it makes me sad, it always makes me happy too. the times that house housed (i loooove puns!) will always be there. not in the house, but in me. and dang it, i might even be a better person because of the pain of losing, than the ease of keeping.

they are leaving this afternoon, and seeing as how i am working today, i gave them the run of the place for their last few hours. john told me that they would probably rob the place on the way out.. i said that was fine, but hoped they would make off with the things that were noticeably out of place, thereby making my room look cleaner for when i arrive home tonight. i hope they managed to have a good time. john and theresa both seem to be that neat kind of person that has fun wherever they are, and, more than that, improves the fun that other people are having.

now, for the record, i blame this cold on the term end library party. the reason i do this is that when i arrived at Bedford Academy, prepared to gorge myself on free food, i was healthy. and when i left at one thirty that morning, i was stuffed up and grumpy. mom thought it might be allergies, but i am pretty sure my genetically superior DNA is free from any such ailment. i am twenty four and i have never-ever-not- even-for-a-second had allergies before. and damn it, i am not starting now.

one thing that i am starting now is my school work. this week became noticeably less stressful when my book history paper was pushed back a week, but now that i have wasted all the days that i would have spent writing that, it is time for me to start research methods. and by start research methods, i mean catch up on two episodes of veronica mars and eat mini wheats. once again, if you ever doubted, please note that i have my priorities in line.

spaz attack

2006-03-29T00:05:00.000-05:00

i have a confession to make: i just emailed my favourite author. please compare this to say, anyone normal meeting their favourtie rock star. because yes, in my little world, my authors are rock stars.

i am writing a paper for my book history course on a canadian author. its basically a case study with the purpose of demonstrating one small aspect of the book trade and i chose, of course, Guy Gavriel Kay. the class istself is wonderful (the only one i go to not because i have to but because i enjoy it). you can stretch the topics to almost anything that catches your fancy and still turn out incredibly creative, pertinent and interesting work. i am constantly amazed by the quality of thought displayed in class.

for instance, the other day, walking to the classroom, tamara and i followed a PhD student and our prof. they were speaking of methodist publishing in ontario and i just kind of had one of those 'duh' moments where i realized how academics are different than, say, me. i turned to Tamara and said, "wow, i bet they don't even care who last got eliminated on America's Next Top Model." And Tamara looked at me, straight faced, and said, "Or how Jade is really humble." And then we looked at each, smiled and said together, "On the Inside." Once again, I had to accept that my reality was a very different reality.

But, back to The Point. I was speaking with another classmate about my paper when she casually remarked, "oh, i know him! he's a friend from Winnipeg!" Before I managed to close my mouth, she had promised to speak with him about helping me. and she did! and so, i emailed him. his personal address. its practically like touching him (i'll never wash this keyboard again). i met him once, you know. it was at a book reading/signing in Ottawa. He was signing my favourite book (it still makes me cry...the book, not the signature) and i asked him what he was doing after the signing, you know, real casual-like (now i know how boys feel asking out their first dates). he did not reply and to this day, i am not sure if it is because he did not hear me or because, well, i fear i might really not have said anything at a volume that registers in the human ear. but, this just might be my second chance.

now i know how prometheus feels

2006-03-28T17:37:00.000-05:00

i am trying to go on vacation. and to leave this wonderful country (especially if i want to come back) i have to bring my passport. now, i have a passport. i have lovingly carried it across europe, collecting stamps and treasuring them almost as much as my beloved blankie (they both get carry on treatment). it has come time to renew: except, wait, the canadian passport office no longer renews passports. you have to get a whole brand new one. this is retarded: i am the same person. i am just five years older. that whole guarantor thing? they still know me! okay, okay, i get that you need to fill out the addresses, and perhaps even the emergency contact info again. but the fact of the matter is this: if you were a valid Canadian five years ago, you are a valid Canadian now.

thursday will be my third trip to the passport office. having newly relocated to Toronto, i do not know anyone in the city who can sign my guarantor forms (and picture). but, on the web site, it mentions that if you have not known a guarantor for two years, you can simply fill out an "in lieu of guarantor" form. in my mind, this was for people like me. I figured, i had to prove who i was (show id) and then, someone official looking would authorize, after i had proved myself to indeed be Allison Moira Larsh, it by just signing it or something, perhaps with a flourish. but no. its only for people who are applying for a passport who have not lived in Canada for two years. would it fricking kill them to say that on the webpage? and i mean, even if you have not been in canada for two years, if you move back to your hometown, then hell, you still have a guarantor. i even tried to coerce my friend ian into signing it for me. but he's not a professional engineer. dang it.

fortunately, my boyfriend lives in oshawa. fortunately, i visit. fortunately, his grandpa lets me borrow the car on occasion. these are the things that kept me from totally losing it. so, i got my childhood dentist to sign my photo. yay! i'm me! on my second trip to the passport office (the first was to be told that i needed a real guarantor), they informed me that i need to have him sign the forms as well. crap. this one was entirely my own fault. but i think tears still sprung to my eyes. and by think, i mean they definitely did. so i purolated him the form. and i will pick it up on thursday. and i go to the passport office and they tell me anything other than they will happily process my order, i do believe that i will resign myself to a life lived within the borders of canada. that's what, 6000 km to explore? should keep me busy.

please let me get to egypt, please let me get to egypt.

i think i can already feel the humidity

2006-03-26T14:21:00.000-05:00

the thing that i hate (love?) about spring is that it always makes me want to shirk all my (rather minimal) commitments. there is nothing that i would rather be doing right now that simply wandering about, sun on my face, carrying some kind of coffee/tea, hand in hand with jarrod (he's the only who will hold hands with me in public), wasting the day away in nothing productive, but still very enjoyable, wandering. i think i could even walk around with my coat unbuttoned today. there might even have been a bit of smog around the C.N. Tower. oh, toronto, how i love thee.

but this is what i will really do today: finish my lit review for my research methods proposal and finish entering information into our group database project. fortunately, the inforum provides the time for me to do so. if i was at home, my day would be this: watching last week's Lost and The Amazing Race and reading gossip blogs. after my walk outside of course.

julia may or may not still be at my house. she ended up having a rather rough go of it. after tasha's, i had fully planned on heading home to relax, preferably to watch Braveheart. however, jeff was anxious to go out with a new lady who had caught his fancy, and coerced julia and i into heading to O'Grady's for a few games of pool. turned out to be a good time: the bar was busy, but not too busy, the company was good, and, at the end of the evening, the bar tender offered drinks to anyone who could name the music he was playing.

as i write this, i am hoping that Tasha is not annoyed that i ended up going out last night: it was truly unplanned and, for better or worse, i think, a sisterly duty. see, yesterday, i elected to head home rather than attempt a second movie (Jurassic Park II...we had already watched the first one) because i really was tired, and so, going out seems to be in direct contradiction to why i went home. i have always lived by the rule that you don't hold out for a "better offer" when it comes to your social calendar (there is nothing more damaging to a friendship than being told you are second choice) and i would hate to think that she would think this is what i had done. in conclusion, i feel like a big jerk. hopefully, tasha managed to get some serious crafting time in and won't really care about this.

on friday, a whole whack of us headed over to jeff's hockey game. although not the original plan for the evening, i do believe hockey was a hit. it is always great to go to hockey games with people who have not grown up with hockey the way i have: you definitly see things with a new perspective. the evening was bittersweet, as it was probably the last time i would get to see jeff playing in the OHL. which means, his hockey career is drawing to a close. it certainly is the end of an era. the score of the game was 6-5 for the colts, however, the real score was three free t-shirts, a soft pretzel, two hot chocolates, one major fight, too many penalties, a few annoying kids and a bunch of library students yelling at a sporting event. highly successful in my opinion.

2006-03-22T15:15:00.000-05:00

Before reading this, you must preface it with this. this was written by a friend of a friend, in response, actually, to her original post. which you can find here. quick overview: discussion of monogamy and how it has evolved into somewhat less pure state (ex. open secrets about drunken mistakes, etc.)

as a matter of fact, i think that cheating is one of the most heinous things a person can do to their significant other: its selfish, hurtful, and devastating. it destroys trust, in the current person and relationship, and sometimes, even in later relationships.

but is it as black and white as that?

our generation, raised by parents who have stressed to us that we can do anything and be anything, that we can find love and happiness and balance, and that we deserve all of these things because we are wonderfully absolutely uniquely special. As a generation, we are set on the world with impossibly (wonderfully?) high standards and we have set loose a bunch of twenty-somethings onto the world that believe in true love, in a relationship wherein passion is matched by both parties, where lives click and stay clean, where dreams and goals are aligned, and where, always, both parties are on the same page.

but, as anyone who has been in a relationship can attest to, there are highs and lows. there are messy fights, there are tears, there are words screamed in anger, or worse, screamed with hate. and there are make ups and break ups and taking breaks and giving it another shot. there are moments of extreme tenderness, of humour, and of love. there are apologies and mistakes and forgetfulness. and yet, couples stay together and work at it. they try and try, and sometimes they succeed and sometimes they fail.

how does this relate to cheating? because people are, first and foremost, fallible silly stupid hormonal creatures. they make mistakes and scrape their knees and betray their friends. and yet, we are asking all of these people, many of whom cannot even hold down a job, to be utterly faithful to one person for their entire lives. is this reasonable? rational? possible?

are we just setting ourselves up to fail?

i remember a friend of mine, now married, who, years ago, had a boyfriend cheat on her. when she found out, she ended the relationship. no ifs, ands, or buts. and this was a boy she was in love with. now, her actions made me see her in a whole brand new light. i saw a strong self of self, a developed moral code, and knowledge of what was, for her, a deal breaker. i call this the looking in the mirror test: there are times when we still love someone, so so much, but when they have done something so hurtful that it is impossible to be with them and still be proud of your reflection in the mirror. so, this disrespect becomes more than simple cheating: it becomes an issue of self-respect. by cheating, by hitting, by lying, by ignoring, by so many things, one person can disrepect another. and regardless of the sin, the response is the same. a person earns their place in life, be that a place of high regard or low, and those who commit actions should be ready to deal with their re-actions. and there comes a time when a line is crossed. a line that means that instead of being respected in a relationship you are disrespected. there are many things that people can withstand when it comes to love. but, i think, that when it becomes clear that there is no respect, that is the ultimate breaker.

and so, even though i know that their are so many ways to fall, i find myself believing in the possibility that love, respect, and friendship can win out in the end because i do believe that we can make the right choices. when i look around my world, when i think of the people i admire and the many positive examples they set, i realize that i admire them not because they "look good on paper" but because they have, somehow, managed to always live with self-respect and their own peace of spirit in mind. this is perhaps why my friend impressed me so much: she was, after all, probably only twenty and more than entitled to make a few relationship flubs, was still figuring out life, still making many mistakes, but, when it came right down to it, she had already found the most important thing: her sense of self. now, quite happily married and living overseas, i have no doubt about her ability to maintain herself. i have no doubt that she makes good decisions, not because they are easy, but because they are right.

i only hope that, when it comes to difficult decisions, i too will have the strength to make the right choice--in life and in relationships.

but i also hope, that when i don't, my partner will love me enough to forgive me. and that when i really cross a line, way way way too far on the other side, i know that he will have the strength to remove me from his life. fortunately, i know how much his presence in my life is valued and somehow, that makes making the right decisions a million times easier.

palindr-o-mania

2006-03-22T00:46:00.000-05:00

i think i might be nerding myself out, but i think this is neat.

once, i read an Encyclopaedia Brown short story in which he knew where the key was because it was under a word that was also a palindrome. the thing is, he found it under an eraser. and it has perplexed me for years just how exactly eraser is a palindrome (the same word or phrase forwards and backwards). it keeps me up at night.

another question: why didn't they chose a word for palimdrome that was actually a palindrome?

not single but perhaps a little funny

2006-03-22T00:02:00.000-05:00

as per my last post, about the correlation between being single and being funny, we joked about it at work tonight and came to the sad conclusion: once you're paired off, you are no longer fun.

actually, i completely disagree with this statement. i mean, i like to consider myself a teensy tiny bit fun. can i prove it myself with an example? i think you might just have to trust me.

sometimes, i do feel like my life is fuller (more full?) when i am single. i have time for endless coffees, extra curricular courses, shopping trips, work outs, etc. i don't have a steady date on weekend nights (or both nights if i get really lucky) and i don't have that other person about whom i think about perhaps even more than i think about myself. i somehow see every movie that i wanted to see, keep up with my correspondance, and read five books a week. it makes for a very content (albeit a little selfish) life.

but when i do have that special other person, like now, i spend a lot of that free time with him. i choose to. and i find that the contentment that i had when i was single becomes a new and different kind of content-ness. i wouldn't change a thing about it. so, although i am sure you'd love to hear all about the sappiness that is my relationship (seriously...its been over a year...and though there has been ups and downs, i still find myself in moments of incredible smitten-ny, love-ness), its really not that fun for anyone but us. and, all of a sudden, instead of documenting my own exploits, freely, i would be detailing 'ours,' perhaps without his permission or without his endorsement. i hate the idea of having something exist that he would not want to read or see and i like to believe that i would not do such a thing.

after all, this is not a private journal. its a public vehicle in a public forum. i know this. and so i have to take responsibilty for it. sometimes its hard to retain its scope, hard to keep in mind who is reading it and why. but mostly, i think its fun. i love that my aunt's read it, i love that my grandma reads it, i love that my mom reads it. (i also love that my mom has started her own...its much more beautiful than mine.) i love that my friends read it. i love that jarrod reads it. but only as it exists. personal, but not private. instead, i will continue to document my life, in little spurts, with things that i think are funny. or amusing. or clever. or stupid. i have a whole lot of stupid. like tonight when i realized tonight, halfway home, that i forgot my wallet in the inforum. seriously, if my head wasn't attached.

question of the day

2006-03-21T14:56:00.000-05:00

why is it that the best, funniest, cleverest, most insightful blogs are written by single people?

2006-03-20T00:35:00.000-05:00

you will note my resume is now taking up a large part of this blog. unless you plan on hiring me, i suggest you just skip over it.

second, you will also see that my handy drop down comment function is now dead. see, i guess while playing with the html, i deleted my "posted by al @11:00" display. and since i wanted to link to the resume post specifically, i had to load the old template again. if i have the time/energy, i will get everything back to normal. but i highly doubt that will happen in the next, say, six months.

on the upside, the wine gums that i bought myself (as a reward for doing so much labelling at work tonight) were extra fresh and delicious. they almost made up for the fact that the battery on my ipod died on my way home. so sad.

Resume

2006-03-19T23:20:00.000-05:00

Allison Larsh

EDUCATION

2005-Present
University of Toronto
Toronto, ON

• Master of Information Studies, Collaboration in Book History and Print Culture
• Completed first year of two year program

2000-2004
Carleton University
Ottawa, ON

• Honours Bachelor of Humanities, Concentration in Philosophy, Graduated Spring 2004
• Received the Pauline Jewett entrance scholarship

2002-2003
KU Leuven
Leuven, Belgium

• One year exchange through the Institute of Philosophy

SKILLS

• Computer Skills: Types 60-81 WPM. Proficient use of MS Office, WordPerfect, MS Excel, MS Access. Thorough knowledge of Windows and MAC operating systems, especially concerning Internet Protocols

• Library Skills: descriptive cataloguing (AACR2), subject cataloguing (Sears, Library of Congress), book processing, collection development, SIRSI, online searching using Dialog, LexusNexus, and Factiva

• Selected Relevant Coursework: Intro to Cataloguing, Intro to Management, Intro to Information Systems, Research Methods and Statistics, Online Information Retrieval

EMPLOYMENT

04/06-Present
Help Desk Advisor
Information Commons, Robart's Library
Toronto, ON

• provide excellent client service for students, staff, faculty and alumni requiring assistance with various computer issues, specializing in email and Internet issues
• performed duties on walk-up and over the telephone

09/05-04/06
Library Technician
University of Toronto, FIS Inforum
Toronto, ON

• Information personnel, providing services in circulation, shelving, labeling, reference, and other general tasks in an academic library setting

05/05-08/05
Library Technician
Scugog Shores Millennium Project
Port Perry, ON

• Independent research on Lake Scugog, with the purpose of creating and designing searchable database to be located online for the public to use
• Travel to local community and university libraries to complete this research, as well searching online journals and archives

01/05-04/05
Help Desk Technician
The Pic Group (Bell Sympatico)
Oshawa, ON

• Interact directly with members concerning a variety of internet related computer issues, customer care and dedication are a priority, also a sales element for Sympatico products
• Thorough knowledge of Windows operating systems, as well as Internet Protocols, TCP/IP, PPPOE, etc.

2003-2004
Stacks Services
Carleton University Library
Ottawa, ON

• Return books to shelves, run traces for lost books, and maintain an organized shelving system to keep the collection in order.
• Deal directly with library patrons and oversee book returns

2001-2002
Administrative Assistant
EDS of Canada, Ltd.
Ottawa, ON

• Completed customer care surveys, entered analyst statistics into a database.
• Maintained monthly report on customer comments and statistics, updated expense invoices using spreadsheets and databases.

VOLUNTEER EXPERIENCE

2006-Present
Publicity Representative, FISSC Council
Toronto, ON
• Maintains inventory of FIS related merchandise
• Represents council at recruiting fairs, information events and alumni nights
• Attends monthly council meetings.

2002-2003
Bar Tender
Pangaea International Students Association
Leuven, Belgium

• Served requested drinks, both alcoholic and non-alcoholic.
• Maintained a tidy restaurant and serving area.

2002-2003
Head Grammatical Editor
The Voice English Newspaper
Leuven, Belgium

• Selected which articles would be published in monthly magazine
• Head of Editing Staff for said articles
• Contributed own articles for magazine

INTERESTS

• Reading
• Traveling
• Learning languages
• Snowboarding

REFERENCES AVAILABLE UPON REQUEST

knitting day 2

2006-03-19T17:41:00.000-05:00

yesterday was a fun night: girls, knitting, wine and some indian food.

with my newly learned skills, on my wonderful nine hour shift today, i have completed a roughly tea doily sized swatch of knitting. i am actually really really proud of myself. because, although there is one hole, oops, there is only one. and i did not notice it until i was rows beyond it, and i decided, well, it gives it some character. Tasha quite kindly, after teaching me, donated some of her older wool (that she had spun herself a few years ago). i planned on making the whole scarf from this green-y wool, however, i am now thinking that it will not be enough. so, the scarf might have to be striped. we shall see. i am sure that jarrod will love it, either way. (i promise not to make you wear in it public!)

crap, now it has two holes.

i am debating taking it out and starting again. i don't really want to! but for some reason, i cannot figure out what i am doing that causes the holes. if i could, then i would, well, stop doing it. mom? any help here?

i have to admit, i love a busy schedule. if i don't have a million things to do, i get nothing done. and so, this past week has been no exception. jarrod visited after work on thursday, and we had just enough time to cook dinner before our out of town guests arrived. ryan (an old old friend from high school) was in town with his boyfriend, also ryan, visiting their perspective schools for next fall. ryan m. is, if he can get his nerve up, accepting york's faculty of environmental science and ryan n. is only waiting on the official okay from ryerson to sign himself up. it was nice to have a full house again, always people coming and going.

weekend in brief:

times out for breakfast: 2
movies walked out of: 1
book stores with no terry prachett books: 3
green beers: 0
doppio espressos: 1
thai dishes with seafood: 3
couches moved: 1
high school friends visited: 3
unsuccessful knitting attempts: 5
sucessful knitting attempts: 1/2
glasses of wine: 1
good conversations: 102938449238201

a great success, any way you look at it.

2006-03-16T12:50:00.000-05:00

i got bit with the nostaligic bug this morning. in my junk mail, i recieved a survey about how i found the humanities program at Carleton. so then i decided i wanted to check out the web page, you know, see what is going on back up in good ol'Ottawa. well, things look like they are progressing well. they are just progressing without me being there, or really, without anyone i know being there. we had such a fun group of people and we had four years together. when you are nineteen old, four years is a long long time. my entire adult life. a lot of firsts happened in those years. and suddenly, i had this pang that that group, and that life, that is quite permanently gone. those people will never be in the same city again. we will never be in humanities again. on an average night, looking for something to do, those people will not be the ones who live a street or two away. rebecca is out west, mike and ciara are in asia, drew is in berlin, emily is living up north (but will come...maybe), julia is in richmond hill (you'd think i'd see her more than i do!), amanda is studing in northern ontario in a town that for the life of me i cannot remember...and those are the ones i can remember off the top of my head. heck, i'm not even in ottawa anymore.

i am loving living in toronto. its hilarious to live with my little brother (who knew?), its wonderful to only live an hour from jarrod (preserves a little spontaneity), library school has turned out to be a blast (if you are a bunch of nerds, therefore having many friends, are you still nerds?)...but i suppose this is what life is, right? having happy memories that you value--not wanting to turn back the clock, not wanting to be there again (and i certainly don't want to be twenty, twenty two, twenty three again...(i left out twenty one, cause well, maybe i'd do belgium again...). but having memories that can just, stop your heart for a second. a brief reminder of life and living and how this present was not always the present and how it will never be the present again. which leads me to realize, what this really means, i should get out of the humanities frame of mind, go do a work out, clean up a bit (again) for my guests, and get my head back into the present. an old friend is visiting just for the evening. sometimes the past does visit again. thankfully!

remembering faces and moments

2006-03-14T17:20:00.000-05:00

i find that the constant moving in my life has left me with too many faces. even when i am in an unfamiliar town, i seem to recognize people. (maybe its just an out of date presecription) i stop, i pause, i try to figure it out, all the while, i am sure, appearing like some crazy person who is wondering if she remembered to turn her stove off. so, today, walking to class, sure enough, i caught sight of someone whose face i recognized. but--it turns out i really did know him! he graduated from the Humanities program at Carleton a year or two a head of me. i have vague memories of parties thrown by upper year students, of being unsure of my place in it all, and he and his girlfriend reading poetry to each other in the midst of chaos. i remember that moment more than i remember him, or the girlfriend. i was amazed, jealous, curious...how had these two created such an intimate moment when fifty other drunken kids were around? and it was intimate. they were sitting on the ground, alone, laughing, reading, touching. i felt invasive. but they seemed nary to mind nor, even, to notice. they had captured something in that moment, and although i could not process what it was, i did have the capacity to recognize it. maybe. well, enough that it is five years later and i still remember that boy sitting with a girl. now, having sat with boys of my own, having moments of my own, i think i might value that one even more. for setting an example. for making me want something.

but back to the point. i saw this guy walking around campus this morning. now, to make myself appear less like a crazy stalker, i also met him in belgium when he visited my friend mike. and i decided to stop him, say hi, acknowledge that we knew each other. i don't think he remembered me. but that's okay. because it would have been somehow worse to let him walk by. i needed to treat him friendly-like simply because, well, i knew him. come on, we all walk by people, we all pretend not to see. well, for once, i decided to take a stand against standoff-ish-ism. and so i was friendly. he's thinking about going to school here, i told him what program i was attending, yadda yadda yadda. we went out separate ways. i seriously doubt we will ever cross paths again. but i know that if i do see him again, it will be a much more honest greeting than if i have walked on by today.

when i was young (and by young i mean up till, uh, now) i hated talking to strangers on the phone. family members, new friends, everyone. the phone=my enemy, my nemesis, it was the thing that made me abandon my confidence and caused my knees to shake. it was practically a phobia. seriously. i'd beg my mom to make phone calls for me. she never would, insisting that i had to learn to do it on my own. the reason for my paranoia: i hated the thought of people not remembering me. especially if i remembered them. it just seemed humiliating. but here i was, facing my fears like some kind of champion, and even though he didn't remember me, i survived. it was not a commentary on how valuable, or even how memorable, my existence on this planet is. because, hey, i know i stick out, at least for some of you. maybe i should make this post a challenge: smile at the people you recognize. tell them a joke, a story. but damn it, stop pretending that they aren't worth even a head nod. a head nod! it costs nothing.

norris vs. taylor

2006-03-12T14:57:00.000-05:00

do you ever have those mornings that you wake up and you have this pit in your stomach that stems from guilt or sadness or hurt? i am hoping this isn't a phonomenon just common to me. i used to wake up that way in Belgium (and i would like to say that that only happened for the first few weeks but that would be a blatant and total lie). I used to wake up with that feeling after my first serious boyfriend and i broke up (and i would also be lying if i said that only lasted a few weeks as well). i use that feeling as my emotional barometre. if i am seriously hurting, i will have that pain. if i am not, it just won't be there. it is either a kick in the pants to get moving or else it is a warning to address what is going on with me. i woke up with that feeling this morning. There are several things it could be: stress about work this summer, my upcoming trip (which has run into quite a few snafus), a misunderstanding with a friend that last night (which i still feel like quite an idiot about)...i don't know. part of me thinks it might just be a feeling of loss: j. has been around the past few days and i miss him when he is not around. but it always worries me when it comes.

we (and i use the term we loosely--at least one of us can cook) did manage to make a stunningly delicious pork roast on friday night. j. discovered a recipe online (with a medium difficulty i might add) and we headed to kensington to shop for the basics. i love kensington market. i mentionned to j. about living here one day and he looked at me like the crazy that i am and said simply, "this place is too sketchy to live. its a nice place to visit but..." and i looked around, and to my chagrin, realized that he was quite right. a particular example: while waiting for me in the bakey (which he has boycotted due to roaches...i vote that all bakeries have bugs!), he watched a raggedy man spot a glove near a bench and proceed to pour coffee on it. what? why? i would have thought that a homeless person would have been less...wasteful. but its true. even with all the colour and flavour of the little place, it does seem to attract a, ahem, variety of people.

after we collected our produce and meat (is there anything better than going to three separate independent shops for bread, produce, and meat?), after we prepared our roast and left it to cook for three hours, j. and i met stephanie, tasha, and lorien at the ROM. its is always fun to go somewhere that i associate with childhood memories. its never the same and is usually a lot smaller. not much is open to the public right now, as there are serious renovations currently underway, but you still get that museum-y atmosphere. these kind of events, though often only an hour or two, are often the highlights of my week. good company, interesting things to look at, new stories that emerge...i learn more about myself and my life in there settings than i do in a classroom.

actually, i am really chafing with the classroom yoke right now. i spent a brief part of the afteroon checking out tours in egypt for a few weeks this summer. my brother, jeff, and i were supposed to be visiting our parents but really, we're in it for the adventure. but. his exams are all over the place and not conducive whatsoever to me working this summer. so it might not be quite the trip i had planned. which, actually, really disappoints me. i am trying to talk julia t. (who was interested the whole time but wasn't sure she could swing it) into it, so we shall see.

to end on a humourous note: while shopping, a pair of converse slip ons caught my eye. i have two pairs of high tops at home, and well, slips ons would be the perfect travel accessory. you know, real shoes, but still relatively, uh, cool. but, the reason i don't wear my high tops is because they KILL my pinky toes. so i asked the high school student/salesperson if "the chuck norris shoes all had the same width?" i am not really sure if i managed to get out the whole sentence before laughing. they are chuck taylor's. t-a-y-l-o-r. not n-o-r-r-i-s. the texas ranger, though formidable, has not passed his name on to shoes. yet. j. pulled me away, without purchase, before i could a) embarrass myself further and b) to stop scaring the poor boy. i have to admit that the thing i thought of first, was that there was one person who had to know first: my aunt beth. she alone will truly understand both the humour and the pain.

why do i love these? (last one, promise)

2006-03-07T23:46:00.000-05:00

The Movie Of Your Life Is A Black Comedy

In your life, things are so twisted that you just have to laugh.
You may end up insane, but you'll have fun on the way to the asylum.

Your best movie matches: Being John Malkovich, The Royal Tenenbaums, American Psycho

If Your Life Was a Movie, What Genre Would It Be?

this quiz horrifies me

2006-03-07T23:42:00.000-05:00

Your Stripper Song Is

Pour Some Sugar on Me by Def Leppard

"Love is like a bomb, baby, c'mon get it on
Livin' like a lover with a radar phone
Lookin' like a tramp, like a video vamp
Demolition woman, can I be your man?"

Break out the baby oil, you rock it old school.

What Song Should You Strip To?

FIS 1311 Article Review

2006-03-07T14:57:00.000-05:00

Article Review: “The Digital Preservation of e-Prints”
D-Lib Magazine, September 2003

The article, “The Digital Preservation of e-Prints” discusses the question of whether e-prints should be preserved along with other digital artifacts. The authors of the article, Pinfield and James (2003) promptly and appropriately define e-prints, for use in this article, as electronic copies of research papers or articles, usually stored in an online repository for scholarly use. This definition is important in order to contextualize the term and to limit its scope—in this article, what is being discussed is not journal or other online archives. With the ease of online access, large volumes e-prints are being collected and stored and are open for public access without metadata standardization. Easily searchable, a collection of e-prints can offer a great deal of information, quickly and easily. However, without thoughts to standardization and preservation, these digital collections could be lost with the next generation of hardware and software. In this article, Pinfield and James (2003) illustrate many of the main issues that must be addressed when discussing the viability and longevity of e-prints.

Pinfield and James (2003) begin this article by addressing the two main sides of this issue: that of the digital community, which would like to preserve all things digital, and that of the e-prints community which would like to place more emphasis on building the repositories rather than on preserving them. They use this discussion as a back drop to emphasize their point of view, that the most important part of e-prints is open access to a large collection. If there is nothing in the repository than there is nothing to search, and even more, there is nothing to preserve. From the e-print perspective, collection, not preservation, is the focus of the endeavor. On the flip side, many in the digital community believe that these information rich repositories should be preserved for future use (Pinfield and James, 2003). Only by preserving e-prints, can you also preserve the open access of e-prints. Open access is important because the repositories are often cited, and if they are allowed to decay, this information is no longer viable to future users (Pinfield and James, 2003).

In order to personalize their perspective, Pinfield and James (2003) draw largely on two people to present these differing viewpoints: a leading advocate for e-prints, Steven Harnad and a member of the digital preservation community, Peter Hirtle. The authors frame these viewpoints as a discussion rather than as a black and white issue. For example, Harnad does not say that e-prints should not be preserved, he just mentions that the primary focus right now is on collecting, not preserving (Pinfield and James, 2003). Hirtle is also a moderate voice. By choosing individual moderate voices, they ensure their discussion of the issue is much more reasonable and valuable. The authors suggest that although many in the digital community would suggest that to set up such a complex system of retrieval and not preserve it is doing an injustice to the digital preservation community (Pinfield and James, 2003) but these are not the voices they choose to highlight in this article.

At first, it seemed unacceptable to use such informal sources and the use of Harnad and Hirtle without reference to published articles does reduce the academic value of the article. For example, Pinfield and James cite discussions with Harnad and one editorial from Hirtle as their source of reference. Though the article is formal in tone, they do not cite their sources from appropriate academic resources. Though these viewpoints are accurate, they do not carry enough authority and, from an academic point of view, the article would carry more weight if it cited other academic articles. However, this article does not seem to be intended as an entirely formal resource. It has the tone of a discussion and blends many points of view. The use of specific discussion by specific people actually narrows the discussion from complete generality to a more specific nature. It is an effective way to present the argument and is easy for the reader to follow. The magazine in which it is published, D-Lib, is a magazine entirely devoted to digital library research and development (Wikipedia, 2006) and the tone of its articles are largely exploratory in nature. Pinfield and James (2003) strike an appropriate tone for the medium in which their article is published.

The sourcing of this article can be questioned by the reader. Most of the sources are from 2001, and with the growth of technology, that is simply out of date. A search of more recent articles on e-print preservation, such as an article by Simpson and Hey (2005) suggest that not only are article repositories gaining more popularity due to ease of access, they are becoming more reputable, but that they still have issues with what to preserve and how to preserve it. Where they surpass Pinfield and James lies in their use of examples of preservation initiatives, but this simply makes sense: as it becomes a more prominent issue, more people are addressing it. Although this article was written in 2003, the issues it discusses are still current. Pinfield and James quite successfully encourage people to think about an issue, years ago, that is only becoming more important today.

What this shows is one of the strengths of Pinfield and James’ article: it is written in such a way that the issues it discusses are broad enough to still be pertinent. Because the article was not a technical solution to the issue, but a large discussion of it, this generality is acceptable. This generality also leads one to believe that the article was written to provide information for information professionals and to raise questions, rather than to offer concrete solutions. Pinfield and James (2003) do use two examples of initiatives that are trying to bridge the technical and organizational difficulties of preservation. The first is a standardized metadata protocol called the Open Archives Initiative (OAI) Protocol for Metadata Harvesting which aids in searching more than one repository at a time (Pinfield and James, 2003). Secondly, is the UK SHERPA (“Securing a Hybrid Environment for Research Preservation and Access”) project, already in existence and functioning, which list the creation of OAI-compliant e-print repositories and the preservation of the content of these repositories as its two main mission statements (Pinfield and James, 2003). These organizations are both still in operation today, as well as other similar projects. The existence of these projects attests to the fact that the issue of e-print preservation is still relevant in the world of digital preservation today and Pinfield and James (2003) have effectively given the reader a history of the issue that is still applicable today.

__________________________________________________________

Works Cited

Anonymous. (2006). “D-Lib Magazine.” Wikipedia. Accessed on 03 Mar 2006 from http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/D-Lib_Magazine

Pinfield, Stephen & James, Hamish. (2003). “The Digital Preservation of e-Prints.” D-Lib Magazine. Accessed on 05 Mar 2006 from http://www.dlib.org/dlib/september03/pinfield/09pinfield.html

Simpson, Pauline & Hey, Jessie. (2005) “Institutional E-Print Repositories for Research Visibility.” Encyclopedia of Library and Information Science (Online) Accessed on 05 Mar 2006 from http://ioc.unesco.org/oceanteacher/OceanTeacher2/03_InfoMgtPrinc/07_Managing%20Internal%20Information/Simpson_Institutional_rep2.pdf

ups and downs

2006-03-05T14:13:00.000-05:00

in honour of new york kristen, us toronto gals (and a few honourable boy mentions: ian and eddy) headed out to a night club downtown last night. fueled by a rather disgusting mix of johnnie walker (red label), wine, and mixed drinks, we danced it up. stefanie (and certainly not me) actually danced on top of the bar. the establishment was considerate enough to install a horizontal bar along the ceiling so that poor intoxicated women could dance their hearts out without falling off. while tasha was amusing herself with a lawyer, his friend challenged me to a chugging contest. this was a bad move on his part and this is why: i am a world class (and i definitly mean to use the word class) chugging machine. international competition winner. the poor guy ended up puking in the bathroom and getting kicked out of the bar. 1-2-3 winner! we had a good time, but there were some notable missing people: annetta, tamara, diana...ladies? you are going to have to pull your socks up and put on a show next time we venture out. which will be sometime next month. mark your calendars. (there is no way i can handle that can kind of thing any more than that) a night out is fun and all...don't get me wrong. there is nothing that bonds people more than making fools out of ourselves. but, right now, there is nothing that i want more right now than some quality home time with take out, downloaded tv shows, and jarrod.

sofie and i went out for breakfast this morning, and of course, because she is one of the best people with which to discuss such things, we spoke about our lives and our relationships. and that last point in the above paragraph (the one with tv) is one that i am really learning about. there was a time when i was out and about both weekend nights and perhaps even a day or two during the week (i am thinking of one particularily bad summer). but, when it comes right down to it, most of the time, i was looking for that one person who i could just sit at home with. a person who makes me laugh and smile and whose company i simply enjoy. having that in my life now is something that i truly value. but i still that going out every once in a while, helps put everything in perspective and helps me realize that while i like going out and having a good time, . i love going out with friends, seeing them in often hilarious situations, i also love relaxing at home. and as i get older, i no longer feel the pressure to be such a social butterfly. i am more content just being myself, and i like that self to spend at least fifty percent of her time in pj's.

out of a seventeen hour weekend work schedule, i have about five hours to go. i am pretty impressed with myself. working and all. earning the bread and butter to support my family. you know how it is, nose to the grind. i've been doing some work with collection development. basically, you look through publisher's magazines and serials and take note of any new publications in the information field. if the library doesn't already have the book, you take note of it and then the collection development librarian can order it. okay, this seems like the stupidest boringest job in the history of libraries. there is no reason that each library should be doing this. it should be a) outsourced or b) centralized at U of T. in the first option, a company could do all the searching and prep work for you and release a list of new titles. even more, your library could fill out detailed buying forms and when a book meets the criteria, it could be sent to you. if they want to keep collection development at home, the system could merged from each separate library completing their own development to one group which would be responsible for the whole university. as it stands now, each of the fifty libraries on the U of T campus are wasting valuable time. if there was communication (any kind at all) between the libraries, they could all save time. it may very well be that there are systems like this available somewhere in the library world. i would love to know about them if there were. and then i would like to sell one to the Inforum.

me, myself, and the go train

2006-03-02T14:28:00.000-05:00

i am beginning to hate the go train.

yesterday, i ran into the station, fully ten minutes before the train left (a record for me, i think) only to find a gigantic line to the ticket booth. fine. i wait. then i decide i probably have enough time to get jarrod and myself and a sandwhich from mickey's d's. no line. i risk it. sandwiches, bag, book, pop, ipod, ticket in hand, i literally run up the escalator to hear the last boarding call (note: two coats with stitches still on them noticed on the run up). i sit down. and realize i had forgot to stamp my two way go train pass with those annoying machines (why they can't just put them on the platform is one thing i will probably never know). so i grabbed my stuff and looked for the conductor because i figured if i confessed he'd let me off easier. and i could not find anyone. so i sat back down. and ate my sandwich. which...of course...is when the conductor comes around. fortunatly, he believed my tale (i tend to believe its because i am adorable) and didn't ticket me. but i got a stern lesson on validating my pass.

this morning (same ticket) i was getting on the go bus and i dropped it. i looked down. it wasnt there. poof. disappeared. into the grate. seriously. does she print me up a new ticket? no. at the station two guys (yes, it took two of them) unscrewed the gate and gave me back my ticket. uh? was that really that efficient? couldnt they have just printed me a new one? sigh. another thing i will never know. but hey, i made my train, made it back home, and all is good.

i also splurged on three (count 'em) new books. They are:

A Great and Terrible Beauty by Libba Bray
The In-Between World of Vikram Lall
One Hundred Years of Solitude by Gabriel Garcia Marquez

We will see if i get anything done in the next few days.

the joke whore

2006-02-28T19:46:00.000-05:00

its almost eight o'clock. i stated work at five. and this is pretty much the first break that i have had all night. and by break, i mean time wherein i am paid to do the things that i would do for free. i started out pretty early this morning, so i have to admit i am tired. i was back in TO by one, starting out in oshawa, and that was all good because i have time to relax in the afternoon (and digest my sausage mcmuffins).

a weird thing happened to me outside of the go train. people were annoyed that the train doors were not open when the bus dropped us little bugs off and were standing around, doing the typical its-cold-out-here-poor-me mumble. when, a rather large older man, with a drop of snot hanging from his nose (i choose to believe it was cold weather induced snot, not the from a real cough-sneeze-sneez kind of cold), started cracking, in a very articulate professional manner, jokes. seriously. a whole show. complete with mother-in-law fat jokes, wife jokes, all kinda of one liners. i looked around for hidden cameras, wondering if this was really happening. i told him that i had heard them all before and tried to bury my nose in my book. (why wasn't my ipod on, i will never know). the other people in the shelter could feel sorry for my position i could tell.

when the doors did open, he handed me a booklet of paper. on it was ordering information to the tune of: "if you liked what you heard today, order book 1 or book 2 for 12.95..." what the fuck? if you are out there, reverend of door-to-door comedy salesman, i am giving you a very serious shake of the head. i felt used! here i was being all sympathetic (to what i thought was a crazy old guy) like the sucker that i am! and really, here was a real joker, an up-to-no-good comic whore, prostituting himself with jokes, giving out his first hit for free, and seeing who would buy! i threw out the sheet though now i almost wished i had kept it.

all in all, it was a pretty relaxing day. spent the afternoon reading at starbucks (as per usual) wherein i encountered several delightful examples of "didn't their mother teach them any better," a new fashion crimes game that i play mostly in my own head. first up, the girl in the purple scarf and headband who was wearing a waffle-style long underwear shirt. okay, i appreciate the cute little flowers. i myself saw that shirt at american eagle and contemplated buying it. but. when wearing items of clothing that are traditionally used as under garments, you have to take especial care to ensure it doesn't look like you are wearing your underwear outside of your clothes. she did. i think i could see her bra. (shame!) the prize winner of the day however was a girl, my age, who was wearing over the knee light brown leather boats. with navy tights. and a black ugly zeller's jacket. with...a summer skirt! the horror! it was linen. and stuck to her tights. and it made me want to shake her. sometimes i wonder why i even care about what other people are wearing. and then i remember. i'm shallow. so if you catch me at moment where i am perhaps waxing philosophical, don't forget i am such a petty person underneath. a friend tried to engage me (and some others) in a very intelligent discussion about the downfall of jesscia simpson and the way the media has portrayed that fall from grace. and i realized, unless i am talking about celebrities within the context of their clothes, their sex life, or their drug use, i do not care to discuss them at all. like i said, shallow.

promise of the day: i am going to learn how to knit. a friend of tasha's is making this absolutly crazy striped blanket. i am going to copy her. bright colours, no rhyme or reason, ordered chaos here i come. it'll be like my striped rug, only for my bed. i think that jarrod is going to love it. and by love, i mean, might burn it while i am sleeping.

confession of the day: i definitly rammed one girl on the way to school. she was walking in a group and just wasn't moving. well, neither was i bitch!

oh, if you are bored, check out Snap Shirts. apparently it randomly selects words and creates a cloud of them. you can, if you'd like, swap words in and out.