spaz attack

i have a confession to make: i just emailed my favourite author. please compare this to say, anyone normal meeting their favourtie rock star. because yes, in my little world, my authors are rock stars.

i am writing a paper for my book history course on a canadian author. its basically a case study with the purpose of demonstrating one small aspect of the book trade and i chose, of course, Guy Gavriel Kay. the class istself is wonderful (the only one i go to not because i have to but because i enjoy it). you can stretch the topics to almost anything that catches your fancy and still turn out incredibly creative, pertinent and interesting work. i am constantly amazed by the quality of thought displayed in class.

for instance, the other day, walking to the classroom, tamara and i followed a PhD student and our prof. they were speaking of methodist publishing in ontario and i just kind of had one of those 'duh' moments where i realized how academics are different than, say, me. i turned to Tamara and said, "wow, i bet they don't even care who last got eliminated on America's Next Top Model." And Tamara looked at me, straight faced, and said, "Or how Jade is really humble." And then we looked at each, smiled and said together, "On the Inside." Once again, I had to accept that my reality was a very different reality.

But, back to The Point. I was speaking with another classmate about my paper when she casually remarked, "oh, i know him! he's a friend from Winnipeg!" Before I managed to close my mouth, she had promised to speak with him about helping me. and she did! and so, i emailed him. his personal address. its practically like touching him (i'll never wash this keyboard again). i met him once, you know. it was at a book reading/signing in Ottawa. He was signing my favourite book (it still makes me cry...the book, not the signature) and i asked him what he was doing after the signing, you know, real casual-like (now i know how boys feel asking out their first dates). he did not reply and to this day, i am not sure if it is because he did not hear me or because, well, i fear i might really not have said anything at a volume that registers in the human ear. but, this just might be my second chance.

now i know how prometheus feels

i am trying to go on vacation. and to leave this wonderful country (especially if i want to come back) i have to bring my passport. now, i have a passport. i have lovingly carried it across europe, collecting stamps and treasuring them almost as much as my beloved blankie (they both get carry on treatment). it has come time to renew: except, wait, the canadian passport office no longer renews passports. you have to get a whole brand new one. this is retarded: i am the same person. i am just five years older. that whole guarantor thing? they still know me! okay, okay, i get that you need to fill out the addresses, and perhaps even the emergency contact info again. but the fact of the matter is this: if you were a valid Canadian five years ago, you are a valid Canadian now.

thursday will be my third trip to the passport office. having newly relocated to Toronto, i do not know anyone in the city who can sign my guarantor forms (and picture). but, on the web site, it mentions that if you have not known a guarantor for two years, you can simply fill out an "in lieu of guarantor" form. in my mind, this was for people like me. I figured, i had to prove who i was (show id) and then, someone official looking would authorize, after i had proved myself to indeed be Allison Moira Larsh, it by just signing it or something, perhaps with a flourish. but no. its only for people who are applying for a passport who have not lived in Canada for two years. would it fricking kill them to say that on the webpage? and i mean, even if you have not been in canada for two years, if you move back to your hometown, then hell, you still have a guarantor. i even tried to coerce my friend ian into signing it for me. but he's not a professional engineer. dang it.

fortunately, my boyfriend lives in oshawa. fortunately, i visit. fortunately, his grandpa lets me borrow the car on occasion. these are the things that kept me from totally losing it. so, i got my childhood dentist to sign my photo. yay! i'm me! on my second trip to the passport office (the first was to be told that i needed a real guarantor), they informed me that i need to have him sign the forms as well. crap. this one was entirely my own fault. but i think tears still sprung to my eyes. and by think, i mean they definitely did. so i purolated him the form. and i will pick it up on thursday. and i go to the passport office and they tell me anything other than they will happily process my order, i do believe that i will resign myself to a life lived within the borders of canada. that's what, 6000 km to explore? should keep me busy.

please let me get to egypt, please let me get to egypt.

i think i can already feel the humidity

the thing that i hate (love?) about spring is that it always makes me want to shirk all my (rather minimal) commitments. there is nothing that i would rather be doing right now that simply wandering about, sun on my face, carrying some kind of coffee/tea, hand in hand with jarrod (he's the only who will hold hands with me in public), wasting the day away in nothing productive, but still very enjoyable, wandering. i think i could even walk around with my coat unbuttoned today. there might even have been a bit of smog around the C.N. Tower. oh, toronto, how i love thee.

but this is what i will really do today: finish my lit review for my research methods proposal and finish entering information into our group database project. fortunately, the inforum provides the time for me to do so. if i was at home, my day would be this: watching last week's Lost and The Amazing Race and reading gossip blogs. after my walk outside of course.

julia may or may not still be at my house. she ended up having a rather rough go of it. after tasha's, i had fully planned on heading home to relax, preferably to watch Braveheart. however, jeff was anxious to go out with a new lady who had caught his fancy, and coerced julia and i into heading to O'Grady's for a few games of pool. turned out to be a good time: the bar was busy, but not too busy, the company was good, and, at the end of the evening, the bar tender offered drinks to anyone who could name the music he was playing.

as i write this, i am hoping that Tasha is not annoyed that i ended up going out last night: it was truly unplanned and, for better or worse, i think, a sisterly duty. see, yesterday, i elected to head home rather than attempt a second movie (Jurassic Park II...we had already watched the first one) because i really was tired, and so, going out seems to be in direct contradiction to why i went home. i have always lived by the rule that you don't hold out for a "better offer" when it comes to your social calendar (there is nothing more damaging to a friendship than being told you are second choice) and i would hate to think that she would think this is what i had done. in conclusion, i feel like a big jerk. hopefully, tasha managed to get some serious crafting time in and won't really care about this.

on friday, a whole whack of us headed over to jeff's hockey game. although not the original plan for the evening, i do believe hockey was a hit. it is always great to go to hockey games with people who have not grown up with hockey the way i have: you definitly see things with a new perspective. the evening was bittersweet, as it was probably the last time i would get to see jeff playing in the OHL. which means, his hockey career is drawing to a close. it certainly is the end of an era. the score of the game was 6-5 for the colts, however, the real score was three free t-shirts, a soft pretzel, two hot chocolates, one major fight, too many penalties, a few annoying kids and a bunch of library students yelling at a sporting event. highly successful in my opinion.

Before reading this, you must preface it with this. this was written by a friend of a friend, in response, actually, to her original post. which you can find here. quick overview: discussion of monogamy and how it has evolved into somewhat less pure state (ex. open secrets about drunken mistakes, etc.)

as a matter of fact, i think that cheating is one of the most heinous things a person can do to their significant other: its selfish, hurtful, and devastating. it destroys trust, in the current person and relationship, and sometimes, even in later relationships.

but is it as black and white as that?

our generation, raised by parents who have stressed to us that we can do anything and be anything, that we can find love and happiness and balance, and that we deserve all of these things because we are wonderfully absolutely uniquely special. As a generation, we are set on the world with impossibly (wonderfully?) high standards and we have set loose a bunch of twenty-somethings onto the world that believe in true love, in a relationship wherein passion is matched by both parties, where lives click and stay clean, where dreams and goals are aligned, and where, always, both parties are on the same page.

but, as anyone who has been in a relationship can attest to, there are highs and lows. there are messy fights, there are tears, there are words screamed in anger, or worse, screamed with hate. and there are make ups and break ups and taking breaks and giving it another shot. there are moments of extreme tenderness, of humour, and of love. there are apologies and mistakes and forgetfulness. and yet, couples stay together and work at it. they try and try, and sometimes they succeed and sometimes they fail.

how does this relate to cheating? because people are, first and foremost, fallible silly stupid hormonal creatures. they make mistakes and scrape their knees and betray their friends. and yet, we are asking all of these people, many of whom cannot even hold down a job, to be utterly faithful to one person for their entire lives. is this reasonable? rational? possible?

are we just setting ourselves up to fail?

i remember a friend of mine, now married, who, years ago, had a boyfriend cheat on her. when she found out, she ended the relationship. no ifs, ands, or buts. and this was a boy she was in love with. now, her actions made me see her in a whole brand new light. i saw a strong self of self, a developed moral code, and knowledge of what was, for her, a deal breaker. i call this the looking in the mirror test: there are times when we still love someone, so so much, but when they have done something so hurtful that it is impossible to be with them and still be proud of your reflection in the mirror. so, this disrespect becomes more than simple cheating: it becomes an issue of self-respect. by cheating, by hitting, by lying, by ignoring, by so many things, one person can disrepect another. and regardless of the sin, the response is the same. a person earns their place in life, be that a place of high regard or low, and those who commit actions should be ready to deal with their re-actions. and there comes a time when a line is crossed. a line that means that instead of being respected in a relationship you are disrespected. there are many things that people can withstand when it comes to love. but, i think, that when it becomes clear that there is no respect, that is the ultimate breaker.

and so, even though i know that their are so many ways to fall, i find myself believing in the possibility that love, respect, and friendship can win out in the end because i do believe that we can make the right choices. when i look around my world, when i think of the people i admire and the many positive examples they set, i realize that i admire them not because they "look good on paper" but because they have, somehow, managed to always live with self-respect and their own peace of spirit in mind. this is perhaps why my friend impressed me so much: she was, after all, probably only twenty and more than entitled to make a few relationship flubs, was still figuring out life, still making many mistakes, but, when it came right down to it, she had already found the most important thing: her sense of self. now, quite happily married and living overseas, i have no doubt about her ability to maintain herself. i have no doubt that she makes good decisions, not because they are easy, but because they are right.

i only hope that, when it comes to difficult decisions, i too will have the strength to make the right choice--in life and in relationships.

but i also hope, that when i don't, my partner will love me enough to forgive me. and that when i really cross a line, way way way too far on the other side, i know that he will have the strength to remove me from his life. fortunately, i know how much his presence in my life is valued and somehow, that makes making the right decisions a million times easier.

palindr-o-mania

i think i might be nerding myself out, but i think this is neat.

once, i read an Encyclopaedia Brown short story in which he knew where the key was because it was under a word that was also a palindrome. the thing is, he found it under an eraser. and it has perplexed me for years just how exactly eraser is a palindrome (the same word or phrase forwards and backwards). it keeps me up at night.

another question: why didn't they chose a word for palimdrome that was actually a palindrome?

not single but perhaps a little funny

as per my last post, about the correlation between being single and being funny, we joked about it at work tonight and came to the sad conclusion: once you're paired off, you are no longer fun.

actually, i completely disagree with this statement. i mean, i like to consider myself a teensy tiny bit fun. can i prove it myself with an example? i think you might just have to trust me.

sometimes, i do feel like my life is fuller (more full?) when i am single. i have time for endless coffees, extra curricular courses, shopping trips, work outs, etc. i don't have a steady date on weekend nights (or both nights if i get really lucky) and i don't have that other person about whom i think about perhaps even more than i think about myself. i somehow see every movie that i wanted to see, keep up with my correspondance, and read five books a week. it makes for a very content (albeit a little selfish) life.

but when i do have that special other person, like now, i spend a lot of that free time with him. i choose to. and i find that the contentment that i had when i was single becomes a new and different kind of content-ness. i wouldn't change a thing about it. so, although i am sure you'd love to hear all about the sappiness that is my relationship (seriously...its been over a year...and though there has been ups and downs, i still find myself in moments of incredible smitten-ny, love-ness), its really not that fun for anyone but us. and, all of a sudden, instead of documenting my own exploits, freely, i would be detailing 'ours,' perhaps without his permission or without his endorsement. i hate the idea of having something exist that he would not want to read or see and i like to believe that i would not do such a thing.

after all, this is not a private journal. its a public vehicle in a public forum. i know this. and so i have to take responsibilty for it. sometimes its hard to retain its scope, hard to keep in mind who is reading it and why. but mostly, i think its fun. i love that my aunt's read it, i love that my grandma reads it, i love that my mom reads it. (i also love that my mom has started her own...its much more beautiful than mine.) i love that my friends read it. i love that jarrod reads it. but only as it exists. personal, but not private. instead, i will continue to document my life, in little spurts, with things that i think are funny. or amusing. or clever. or stupid. i have a whole lot of stupid. like tonight when i realized tonight, halfway home, that i forgot my wallet in the inforum. seriously, if my head wasn't attached.

question of the day

why is it that the best, funniest, cleverest, most insightful blogs are written by single people?

you will note my resume is now taking up a large part of this blog. unless you plan on hiring me, i suggest you just skip over it.

second, you will also see that my handy drop down comment function is now dead. see, i guess while playing with the html, i deleted my "posted by al @11:00" display. and since i wanted to link to the resume post specifically, i had to load the old template again. if i have the time/energy, i will get everything back to normal. but i highly doubt that will happen in the next, say, six months.

on the upside, the wine gums that i bought myself (as a reward for doing so much labelling at work tonight) were extra fresh and delicious. they almost made up for the fact that the battery on my ipod died on my way home. so sad.

Resume

Allison Larsh

EDUCATION

2005-Present
University of Toronto
Toronto, ON

• Master of Information Studies, Collaboration in Book History and Print Culture
• Completed first year of two year program

2000-2004
Carleton University
Ottawa, ON

• Honours Bachelor of Humanities, Concentration in Philosophy, Graduated Spring 2004
• Received the Pauline Jewett entrance scholarship

2002-2003
KU Leuven
Leuven, Belgium

• One year exchange through the Institute of Philosophy

SKILLS

• Computer Skills: Types 60-81 WPM. Proficient use of MS Office, WordPerfect, MS Excel, MS Access. Thorough knowledge of Windows and MAC operating systems, especially concerning Internet Protocols

• Library Skills: descriptive cataloguing (AACR2), subject cataloguing (Sears, Library of Congress), book processing, collection development, SIRSI, online searching using Dialog, LexusNexus, and Factiva

• Selected Relevant Coursework: Intro to Cataloguing, Intro to Management, Intro to Information Systems, Research Methods and Statistics, Online Information Retrieval


EMPLOYMENT

04/06-Present
Help Desk Advisor
Information Commons, Robart's Library
Toronto, ON

• provide excellent client service for students, staff, faculty and alumni requiring assistance with various computer issues, specializing in email and Internet issues
• performed duties on walk-up and over the telephone

09/05-04/06
Library Technician
University of Toronto, FIS Inforum
Toronto, ON

• Information personnel, providing services in circulation, shelving, labeling, reference, and other general tasks in an academic library setting

05/05-08/05
Library Technician
Scugog Shores Millennium Project
Port Perry, ON

• Independent research on Lake Scugog, with the purpose of creating and designing searchable database to be located online for the public to use
• Travel to local community and university libraries to complete this research, as well searching online journals and archives

01/05-04/05
Help Desk Technician
The Pic Group (Bell Sympatico)
Oshawa, ON

• Interact directly with members concerning a variety of internet related computer issues, customer care and dedication are a priority, also a sales element for Sympatico products
• Thorough knowledge of Windows operating systems, as well as Internet Protocols, TCP/IP, PPPOE, etc.

2003-2004
Stacks Services
Carleton University Library
Ottawa, ON

• Return books to shelves, run traces for lost books, and maintain an organized shelving system to keep the collection in order.
• Deal directly with library patrons and oversee book returns

2001-2002
Administrative Assistant
EDS of Canada, Ltd.
Ottawa, ON

• Completed customer care surveys, entered analyst statistics into a database.
• Maintained monthly report on customer comments and statistics, updated expense invoices using spreadsheets and databases.

VOLUNTEER EXPERIENCE

2006-Present
Publicity Representative, FISSC Council
Toronto, ON
• Maintains inventory of FIS related merchandise
• Represents council at recruiting fairs, information events and alumni nights
• Attends monthly council meetings.

2002-2003
Bar Tender
Pangaea International Students Association
Leuven, Belgium

• Served requested drinks, both alcoholic and non-alcoholic.
• Maintained a tidy restaurant and serving area.

2002-2003
Head Grammatical Editor
The Voice English Newspaper
Leuven, Belgium

• Selected which articles would be published in monthly magazine
• Head of Editing Staff for said articles
• Contributed own articles for magazine

INTERESTS

• Reading
• Traveling
• Learning languages
• Snowboarding


REFERENCES AVAILABLE UPON REQUEST

knitting day 2

yesterday was a fun night: girls, knitting, wine and some indian food.

with my newly learned skills, on my wonderful nine hour shift today, i have completed a roughly tea doily sized swatch of knitting. i am actually really really proud of myself. because, although there is one hole, oops, there is only one. and i did not notice it until i was rows beyond it, and i decided, well, it gives it some character. Tasha quite kindly, after teaching me, donated some of her older wool (that she had spun herself a few years ago). i planned on making the whole scarf from this green-y wool, however, i am now thinking that it will not be enough. so, the scarf might have to be striped. we shall see. i am sure that jarrod will love it, either way. (i promise not to make you wear in it public!)

crap, now it has two holes.

i am debating taking it out and starting again. i don't really want to! but for some reason, i cannot figure out what i am doing that causes the holes. if i could, then i would, well, stop doing it. mom? any help here?

i have to admit, i love a busy schedule. if i don't have a million things to do, i get nothing done. and so, this past week has been no exception. jarrod visited after work on thursday, and we had just enough time to cook dinner before our out of town guests arrived. ryan (an old old friend from high school) was in town with his boyfriend, also ryan, visiting their perspective schools for next fall. ryan m. is, if he can get his nerve up, accepting york's faculty of environmental science and ryan n. is only waiting on the official okay from ryerson to sign himself up. it was nice to have a full house again, always people coming and going.

weekend in brief:

times out for breakfast: 2
movies walked out of: 1
book stores with no terry prachett books: 3
green beers: 0
doppio espressos: 1
thai dishes with seafood: 3
couches moved: 1
high school friends visited: 3
unsuccessful knitting attempts: 5
sucessful knitting attempts: 1/2
glasses of wine: 1
good conversations: 102938449238201

a great success, any way you look at it.

i got bit with the nostaligic bug this morning. in my junk mail, i recieved a survey about how i found the humanities program at Carleton. so then i decided i wanted to check out the web page, you know, see what is going on back up in good ol'Ottawa. well, things look like they are progressing well. they are just progressing without me being there, or really, without anyone i know being there. we had such a fun group of people and we had four years together. when you are nineteen old, four years is a long long time. my entire adult life. a lot of firsts happened in those years. and suddenly, i had this pang that that group, and that life, that is quite permanently gone. those people will never be in the same city again. we will never be in humanities again. on an average night, looking for something to do, those people will not be the ones who live a street or two away. rebecca is out west, mike and ciara are in asia, drew is in berlin, emily is living up north (but will come...maybe), julia is in richmond hill (you'd think i'd see her more than i do!), amanda is studing in northern ontario in a town that for the life of me i cannot remember...and those are the ones i can remember off the top of my head. heck, i'm not even in ottawa anymore.

i am loving living in toronto. its hilarious to live with my little brother (who knew?), its wonderful to only live an hour from jarrod (preserves a little spontaneity), library school has turned out to be a blast (if you are a bunch of nerds, therefore having many friends, are you still nerds?)...but i suppose this is what life is, right? having happy memories that you value--not wanting to turn back the clock, not wanting to be there again (and i certainly don't want to be twenty, twenty two, twenty three again...(i left out twenty one, cause well, maybe i'd do belgium again...). but having memories that can just, stop your heart for a second. a brief reminder of life and living and how this present was not always the present and how it will never be the present again. which leads me to realize, what this really means, i should get out of the humanities frame of mind, go do a work out, clean up a bit (again) for my guests, and get my head back into the present. an old friend is visiting just for the evening. sometimes the past does visit again. thankfully!

remembering faces and moments

i find that the constant moving in my life has left me with too many faces. even when i am in an unfamiliar town, i seem to recognize people. (maybe its just an out of date presecription) i stop, i pause, i try to figure it out, all the while, i am sure, appearing like some crazy person who is wondering if she remembered to turn her stove off. so, today, walking to class, sure enough, i caught sight of someone whose face i recognized. but--it turns out i really did know him! he graduated from the Humanities program at Carleton a year or two a head of me. i have vague memories of parties thrown by upper year students, of being unsure of my place in it all, and he and his girlfriend reading poetry to each other in the midst of chaos. i remember that moment more than i remember him, or the girlfriend. i was amazed, jealous, curious...how had these two created such an intimate moment when fifty other drunken kids were around? and it was intimate. they were sitting on the ground, alone, laughing, reading, touching. i felt invasive. but they seemed nary to mind nor, even, to notice. they had captured something in that moment, and although i could not process what it was, i did have the capacity to recognize it. maybe. well, enough that it is five years later and i still remember that boy sitting with a girl. now, having sat with boys of my own, having moments of my own, i think i might value that one even more. for setting an example. for making me want something.

but back to the point. i saw this guy walking around campus this morning. now, to make myself appear less like a crazy stalker, i also met him in belgium when he visited my friend mike. and i decided to stop him, say hi, acknowledge that we knew each other. i don't think he remembered me. but that's okay. because it would have been somehow worse to let him walk by. i needed to treat him friendly-like simply because, well, i knew him. come on, we all walk by people, we all pretend not to see. well, for once, i decided to take a stand against standoff-ish-ism. and so i was friendly. he's thinking about going to school here, i told him what program i was attending, yadda yadda yadda. we went out separate ways. i seriously doubt we will ever cross paths again. but i know that if i do see him again, it will be a much more honest greeting than if i have walked on by today.

when i was young (and by young i mean up till, uh, now) i hated talking to strangers on the phone. family members, new friends, everyone. the phone=my enemy, my nemesis, it was the thing that made me abandon my confidence and caused my knees to shake. it was practically a phobia. seriously. i'd beg my mom to make phone calls for me. she never would, insisting that i had to learn to do it on my own. the reason for my paranoia: i hated the thought of people not remembering me. especially if i remembered them. it just seemed humiliating. but here i was, facing my fears like some kind of champion, and even though he didn't remember me, i survived. it was not a commentary on how valuable, or even how memorable, my existence on this planet is. because, hey, i know i stick out, at least for some of you. maybe i should make this post a challenge: smile at the people you recognize. tell them a joke, a story. but damn it, stop pretending that they aren't worth even a head nod. a head nod! it costs nothing.

norris vs. taylor

do you ever have those mornings that you wake up and you have this pit in your stomach that stems from guilt or sadness or hurt? i am hoping this isn't a phonomenon just common to me. i used to wake up that way in Belgium (and i would like to say that that only happened for the first few weeks but that would be a blatant and total lie). I used to wake up with that feeling after my first serious boyfriend and i broke up (and i would also be lying if i said that only lasted a few weeks as well). i use that feeling as my emotional barometre. if i am seriously hurting, i will have that pain. if i am not, it just won't be there. it is either a kick in the pants to get moving or else it is a warning to address what is going on with me. i woke up with that feeling this morning. There are several things it could be: stress about work this summer, my upcoming trip (which has run into quite a few snafus), a misunderstanding with a friend that last night (which i still feel like quite an idiot about)...i don't know. part of me thinks it might just be a feeling of loss: j. has been around the past few days and i miss him when he is not around. but it always worries me when it comes.

we (and i use the term we loosely--at least one of us can cook) did manage to make a stunningly delicious pork roast on friday night. j. discovered a recipe online (with a medium difficulty i might add) and we headed to kensington to shop for the basics. i love kensington market. i mentionned to j. about living here one day and he looked at me like the crazy that i am and said simply, "this place is too sketchy to live. its a nice place to visit but..." and i looked around, and to my chagrin, realized that he was quite right. a particular example: while waiting for me in the bakey (which he has boycotted due to roaches...i vote that all bakeries have bugs!), he watched a raggedy man spot a glove near a bench and proceed to pour coffee on it. what? why? i would have thought that a homeless person would have been less...wasteful. but its true. even with all the colour and flavour of the little place, it does seem to attract a, ahem, variety of people.

after we collected our produce and meat (is there anything better than going to three separate independent shops for bread, produce, and meat?), after we prepared our roast and left it to cook for three hours, j. and i met stephanie, tasha, and lorien at the ROM. its is always fun to go somewhere that i associate with childhood memories. its never the same and is usually a lot smaller. not much is open to the public right now, as there are serious renovations currently underway, but you still get that museum-y atmosphere. these kind of events, though often only an hour or two, are often the highlights of my week. good company, interesting things to look at, new stories that emerge...i learn more about myself and my life in there settings than i do in a classroom.

actually, i am really chafing with the classroom yoke right now. i spent a brief part of the afteroon checking out tours in egypt for a few weeks this summer. my brother, jeff, and i were supposed to be visiting our parents but really, we're in it for the adventure. but. his exams are all over the place and not conducive whatsoever to me working this summer. so it might not be quite the trip i had planned. which, actually, really disappoints me. i am trying to talk julia t. (who was interested the whole time but wasn't sure she could swing it) into it, so we shall see.

to end on a humourous note: while shopping, a pair of converse slip ons caught my eye. i have two pairs of high tops at home, and well, slips ons would be the perfect travel accessory. you know, real shoes, but still relatively, uh, cool. but, the reason i don't wear my high tops is because they KILL my pinky toes. so i asked the high school student/salesperson if "the chuck norris shoes all had the same width?" i am not really sure if i managed to get out the whole sentence before laughing. they are chuck taylor's. t-a-y-l-o-r. not n-o-r-r-i-s. the texas ranger, though formidable, has not passed his name on to shoes. yet. j. pulled me away, without purchase, before i could a) embarrass myself further and b) to stop scaring the poor boy. i have to admit that the thing i thought of first, was that there was one person who had to know first: my aunt beth. she alone will truly understand both the humour and the pain.

why do i love these? (last one, promise)

The Movie Of Your Life Is A Black Comedy

In your life, things are so twisted that you just have to laugh. You may end up insane, but you'll have fun on the way to the asylum. Your best movie matches: Being John Malkovich, The Royal Tenenbaums, American Psycho

If Your Life Was a Movie, What Genre Would It Be?

this quiz horrifies me

Your Stripper Song Is

Pour Some Sugar on Me by Def Leppard "Love is like a bomb, baby, c'mon get it on Livin' like a lover with a radar phone Lookin' like a tramp, like a video vamp Demolition woman, can I be your man?" Break out the baby oil, you rock it old school.

What Song Should You Strip To?

FIS 1311 Article Review

Article Review: “The Digital Preservation of e-Prints”
D-Lib Magazine, September 2003


The article, “The Digital Preservation of e-Prints” discusses the question of whether e-prints should be preserved along with other digital artifacts. The authors of the article, Pinfield and James (2003) promptly and appropriately define e-prints, for use in this article, as electronic copies of research papers or articles, usually stored in an online repository for scholarly use. This definition is important in order to contextualize the term and to limit its scope—in this article, what is being discussed is not journal or other online archives. With the ease of online access, large volumes e-prints are being collected and stored and are open for public access without metadata standardization. Easily searchable, a collection of e-prints can offer a great deal of information, quickly and easily. However, without thoughts to standardization and preservation, these digital collections could be lost with the next generation of hardware and software. In this article, Pinfield and James (2003) illustrate many of the main issues that must be addressed when discussing the viability and longevity of e-prints.

Pinfield and James (2003) begin this article by addressing the two main sides of this issue: that of the digital community, which would like to preserve all things digital, and that of the e-prints community which would like to place more emphasis on building the repositories rather than on preserving them. They use this discussion as a back drop to emphasize their point of view, that the most important part of e-prints is open access to a large collection. If there is nothing in the repository than there is nothing to search, and even more, there is nothing to preserve. From the e-print perspective, collection, not preservation, is the focus of the endeavor. On the flip side, many in the digital community believe that these information rich repositories should be preserved for future use (Pinfield and James, 2003). Only by preserving e-prints, can you also preserve the open access of e-prints. Open access is important because the repositories are often cited, and if they are allowed to decay, this information is no longer viable to future users (Pinfield and James, 2003).

In order to personalize their perspective, Pinfield and James (2003) draw largely on two people to present these differing viewpoints: a leading advocate for e-prints, Steven Harnad and a member of the digital preservation community, Peter Hirtle. The authors frame these viewpoints as a discussion rather than as a black and white issue. For example, Harnad does not say that e-prints should not be preserved, he just mentions that the primary focus right now is on collecting, not preserving (Pinfield and James, 2003). Hirtle is also a moderate voice. By choosing individual moderate voices, they ensure their discussion of the issue is much more reasonable and valuable. The authors suggest that although many in the digital community would suggest that to set up such a complex system of retrieval and not preserve it is doing an injustice to the digital preservation community (Pinfield and James, 2003) but these are not the voices they choose to highlight in this article.

At first, it seemed unacceptable to use such informal sources and the use of Harnad and Hirtle without reference to published articles does reduce the academic value of the article. For example, Pinfield and James cite discussions with Harnad and one editorial from Hirtle as their source of reference. Though the article is formal in tone, they do not cite their sources from appropriate academic resources. Though these viewpoints are accurate, they do not carry enough authority and, from an academic point of view, the article would carry more weight if it cited other academic articles. However, this article does not seem to be intended as an entirely formal resource. It has the tone of a discussion and blends many points of view. The use of specific discussion by specific people actually narrows the discussion from complete generality to a more specific nature. It is an effective way to present the argument and is easy for the reader to follow. The magazine in which it is published, D-Lib, is a magazine entirely devoted to digital library research and development (Wikipedia, 2006) and the tone of its articles are largely exploratory in nature. Pinfield and James (2003) strike an appropriate tone for the medium in which their article is published.

The sourcing of this article can be questioned by the reader. Most of the sources are from 2001, and with the growth of technology, that is simply out of date. A search of more recent articles on e-print preservation, such as an article by Simpson and Hey (2005) suggest that not only are article repositories gaining more popularity due to ease of access, they are becoming more reputable, but that they still have issues with what to preserve and how to preserve it. Where they surpass Pinfield and James lies in their use of examples of preservation initiatives, but this simply makes sense: as it becomes a more prominent issue, more people are addressing it. Although this article was written in 2003, the issues it discusses are still current. Pinfield and James quite successfully encourage people to think about an issue, years ago, that is only becoming more important today.

What this shows is one of the strengths of Pinfield and James’ article: it is written in such a way that the issues it discusses are broad enough to still be pertinent. Because the article was not a technical solution to the issue, but a large discussion of it, this generality is acceptable. This generality also leads one to believe that the article was written to provide information for information professionals and to raise questions, rather than to offer concrete solutions. Pinfield and James (2003) do use two examples of initiatives that are trying to bridge the technical and organizational difficulties of preservation. The first is a standardized metadata protocol called the Open Archives Initiative (OAI) Protocol for Metadata Harvesting which aids in searching more than one repository at a time (Pinfield and James, 2003). Secondly, is the UK SHERPA (“Securing a Hybrid Environment for Research Preservation and Access”) project, already in existence and functioning, which list the creation of OAI-compliant e-print repositories and the preservation of the content of these repositories as its two main mission statements (Pinfield and James, 2003). These organizations are both still in operation today, as well as other similar projects. The existence of these projects attests to the fact that the issue of e-print preservation is still relevant in the world of digital preservation today and Pinfield and James (2003) have effectively given the reader a history of the issue that is still applicable today.





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Works Cited

Anonymous. (2006). “D-Lib Magazine.” Wikipedia. Accessed on 03 Mar 2006 from http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/D-Lib_Magazine

Pinfield, Stephen & James, Hamish. (2003). “The Digital Preservation of e-Prints.” D-Lib Magazine. Accessed on 05 Mar 2006 from http://www.dlib.org/dlib/september03/pinfield/09pinfield.html

Simpson, Pauline & Hey, Jessie. (2005) “Institutional E-Print Repositories for Research Visibility.” Encyclopedia of Library and Information Science (Online) Accessed on 05 Mar 2006 from http://ioc.unesco.org/oceanteacher/OceanTeacher2/03_InfoMgtPrinc/07_Managing%20Internal%20Information/Simpson_Institutional_rep2.pdf

ups and downs

in honour of new york kristen, us toronto gals (and a few honourable boy mentions: ian and eddy) headed out to a night club downtown last night. fueled by a rather disgusting mix of johnnie walker (red label), wine, and mixed drinks, we danced it up. stefanie (and certainly not me) actually danced on top of the bar. the establishment was considerate enough to install a horizontal bar along the ceiling so that poor intoxicated women could dance their hearts out without falling off. while tasha was amusing herself with a lawyer, his friend challenged me to a chugging contest. this was a bad move on his part and this is why: i am a world class (and i definitly mean to use the word class) chugging machine. international competition winner. the poor guy ended up puking in the bathroom and getting kicked out of the bar. 1-2-3 winner! we had a good time, but there were some notable missing people: annetta, tamara, diana...ladies? you are going to have to pull your socks up and put on a show next time we venture out. which will be sometime next month. mark your calendars. (there is no way i can handle that can kind of thing any more than that) a night out is fun and all...don't get me wrong. there is nothing that bonds people more than making fools out of ourselves. but, right now, there is nothing that i want more right now than some quality home time with take out, downloaded tv shows, and jarrod.

sofie and i went out for breakfast this morning, and of course, because she is one of the best people with which to discuss such things, we spoke about our lives and our relationships. and that last point in the above paragraph (the one with tv) is one that i am really learning about. there was a time when i was out and about both weekend nights and perhaps even a day or two during the week (i am thinking of one particularily bad summer). but, when it comes right down to it, most of the time, i was looking for that one person who i could just sit at home with. a person who makes me laugh and smile and whose company i simply enjoy. having that in my life now is something that i truly value. but i still that going out every once in a while, helps put everything in perspective and helps me realize that while i like going out and having a good time, . i love going out with friends, seeing them in often hilarious situations, i also love relaxing at home. and as i get older, i no longer feel the pressure to be such a social butterfly. i am more content just being myself, and i like that self to spend at least fifty percent of her time in pj's.

out of a seventeen hour weekend work schedule, i have about five hours to go. i am pretty impressed with myself. working and all. earning the bread and butter to support my family. you know how it is, nose to the grind. i've been doing some work with collection development. basically, you look through publisher's magazines and serials and take note of any new publications in the information field. if the library doesn't already have the book, you take note of it and then the collection development librarian can order it. okay, this seems like the stupidest boringest job in the history of libraries. there is no reason that each library should be doing this. it should be a) outsourced or b) centralized at U of T. in the first option, a company could do all the searching and prep work for you and release a list of new titles. even more, your library could fill out detailed buying forms and when a book meets the criteria, it could be sent to you. if they want to keep collection development at home, the system could merged from each separate library completing their own development to one group which would be responsible for the whole university. as it stands now, each of the fifty libraries on the U of T campus are wasting valuable time. if there was communication (any kind at all) between the libraries, they could all save time. it may very well be that there are systems like this available somewhere in the library world. i would love to know about them if there were. and then i would like to sell one to the Inforum.

me, myself, and the go train

i am beginning to hate the go train.

yesterday, i ran into the station, fully ten minutes before the train left (a record for me, i think) only to find a gigantic line to the ticket booth. fine. i wait. then i decide i probably have enough time to get jarrod and myself and a sandwhich from mickey's d's. no line. i risk it. sandwiches, bag, book, pop, ipod, ticket in hand, i literally run up the escalator to hear the last boarding call (note: two coats with stitches still on them noticed on the run up). i sit down. and realize i had forgot to stamp my two way go train pass with those annoying machines (why they can't just put them on the platform is one thing i will probably never know). so i grabbed my stuff and looked for the conductor because i figured if i confessed he'd let me off easier. and i could not find anyone. so i sat back down. and ate my sandwich. which...of course...is when the conductor comes around. fortunatly, he believed my tale (i tend to believe its because i am adorable) and didn't ticket me. but i got a stern lesson on validating my pass.

this morning (same ticket) i was getting on the go bus and i dropped it. i looked down. it wasnt there. poof. disappeared. into the grate. seriously. does she print me up a new ticket? no. at the station two guys (yes, it took two of them) unscrewed the gate and gave me back my ticket. uh? was that really that efficient? couldnt they have just printed me a new one? sigh. another thing i will never know. but hey, i made my train, made it back home, and all is good.

i also splurged on three (count 'em) new books. They are:

A Great and Terrible Beauty by Libba Bray
The In-Between World of Vikram Lall
One Hundred Years of Solitude by Gabriel Garcia Marquez

We will see if i get anything done in the next few days.

the joke whore

its almost eight o'clock. i stated work at five. and this is pretty much the first break that i have had all night. and by break, i mean time wherein i am paid to do the things that i would do for free. i started out pretty early this morning, so i have to admit i am tired. i was back in TO by one, starting out in oshawa, and that was all good because i have time to relax in the afternoon (and digest my sausage mcmuffins).

a weird thing happened to me outside of the go train. people were annoyed that the train doors were not open when the bus dropped us little bugs off and were standing around, doing the typical its-cold-out-here-poor-me mumble. when, a rather large older man, with a drop of snot hanging from his nose (i choose to believe it was cold weather induced snot, not the from a real cough-sneeze-sneez kind of cold), started cracking, in a very articulate professional manner, jokes. seriously. a whole show. complete with mother-in-law fat jokes, wife jokes, all kinda of one liners. i looked around for hidden cameras, wondering if this was really happening. i told him that i had heard them all before and tried to bury my nose in my book. (why wasn't my ipod on, i will never know). the other people in the shelter could feel sorry for my position i could tell.

when the doors did open, he handed me a booklet of paper. on it was ordering information to the tune of: "if you liked what you heard today, order book 1 or book 2 for 12.95..." what the fuck? if you are out there, reverend of door-to-door comedy salesman, i am giving you a very serious shake of the head. i felt used! here i was being all sympathetic (to what i thought was a crazy old guy) like the sucker that i am! and really, here was a real joker, an up-to-no-good comic whore, prostituting himself with jokes, giving out his first hit for free, and seeing who would buy! i threw out the sheet though now i almost wished i had kept it.

all in all, it was a pretty relaxing day. spent the afternoon reading at starbucks (as per usual) wherein i encountered several delightful examples of "didn't their mother teach them any better," a new fashion crimes game that i play mostly in my own head. first up, the girl in the purple scarf and headband who was wearing a waffle-style long underwear shirt. okay, i appreciate the cute little flowers. i myself saw that shirt at american eagle and contemplated buying it. but. when wearing items of clothing that are traditionally used as under garments, you have to take especial care to ensure it doesn't look like you are wearing your underwear outside of your clothes. she did. i think i could see her bra. (shame!) the prize winner of the day however was a girl, my age, who was wearing over the knee light brown leather boats. with navy tights. and a black ugly zeller's jacket. with...a summer skirt! the horror! it was linen. and stuck to her tights. and it made me want to shake her. sometimes i wonder why i even care about what other people are wearing. and then i remember. i'm shallow. so if you catch me at moment where i am perhaps waxing philosophical, don't forget i am such a petty person underneath. a friend tried to engage me (and some others) in a very intelligent discussion about the downfall of jesscia simpson and the way the media has portrayed that fall from grace. and i realized, unless i am talking about celebrities within the context of their clothes, their sex life, or their drug use, i do not care to discuss them at all. like i said, shallow.

promise of the day: i am going to learn how to knit. a friend of tasha's is making this absolutly crazy striped blanket. i am going to copy her. bright colours, no rhyme or reason, ordered chaos here i come. it'll be like my striped rug, only for my bed. i think that jarrod is going to love it. and by love, i mean, might burn it while i am sleeping.

confession of the day: i definitly rammed one girl on the way to school. she was walking in a group and just wasn't moving. well, neither was i bitch!

oh, if you are bored, check out Snap Shirts. apparently it randomly selects words and creates a cloud of them. you can, if you'd like, swap words in and out.

wherefore art thou, cell phone?

i forgot my cell phone today. i feel like i forgot...well, something really important like my cell phone. and, i am stuck at school all day finishing a paper and then three hours of class. which is all fine and good, except, that, i forgot my cell phone. i am not sure when or how i became so dependent, but apparently i am. i think it might be karma because yesterday i was teasing diana about having also forgotten hers at home. yep, this is definitly all my own fault.

i am at starbucks now, stealing the utoronto network for myself. okay: when did starbucks start charging for their internet? while in ottawa, i happily spent hours at bridgehead on their free network. i suppose there's no motivation for starbucks. toronto happily keeps afloat nine million of them, why would they care if people came to use their internet or not? but it makes me a little sad. the whole bright brilliant thing about wireless Internet was its inclusive nature. but, of course, capitalism wins. it always wins. i hate money.

one thing that i do like about starbucks, however, is the fact that i see the same people over and over. for instance, sitting beside me are two men. they are here always. to the point where i smile at them. to the point where i feel like if i was walking down the street i would say hi...and then realize embarrassingly that even though i recognize them it is not to the point where i get to say something. i used to do that on the bus sometimes. see people day after day on the commute, and then, see them in another context, and start to say something along the lines of "don't i know you?" when i realize that no, indeed, i don't know them. i just see them. and to say hi would simply demonstrate, that yes, i am a little off.

did i mention the badel stop inside the starbucks is serving clam chowder today? i love clam chowder. but it only takes cash. who only takes cash nowadays? does anyone even carry cash anymore? damn it! a girl deserves clam chowder after a morning of paper writing.

also, how do people feel about FIS t-shirts? seriously. robin posted this site for Librarian Gear. I am finding it pretty amusing. And you can personalize the shirts as well. I am thinking "FIS Class of 2007" Pretty creative and original eh? this is why i am not designing my own shirt...

check out, in particular:



and



come on! laugh out loud!

oh, one more (and this might be my favourite):

chasing steeples

task for the day: get a good grip on book history paper due monday.

tasks accomplished:

1) escort jarrod (i heart jarrod) to union for early good bye (to help facilitate original task)
2) buy super jumbo coffee (love love love)
3) clean kitchen (what's worse than cleaning up after two boys? cleaning up after two boys plus their guests...why do i do it? i feel like a better person complaining from my high horse. besides, i have tried the cold war method. and then had to clean up not only a mess but a rotten mess.)
4) laundry...three loads. oops.
5) updated the ol'ipod (i also heart ipod) with several cd's from my collection, as well as adding cover artwork onto already existing mp3 files. i'm anal. get over it.
5) discovered coffee whitener is actually pretty delicious (yes, second and third coffees of the day)
6) downloaded a gilmour girls that i had already seen
7) saw a 23 year old idiot make $60 000 on a house reno. change life plans to incorporate being a house flipper. consider dropping out of university to achieve this dream. i mean, i am up on two counts: i am 24 (yes!) and i am not an idiot.

conclusion: not one step closer to writing paper, although i did do a bunch of interent research. (does that count at all?) this is the last piece of procrastination that i am allowing myself. school work, here i come.

slack master

Slacker Kid

High school was a place you showed up occasionally, but you didn't really leave a mark. You hated rules, authority, and structure. In fact, you still do.

Who Were You In High School?

okay, most of the reason that i am putting this up is because of the absolute hilarity that a few of my friends (and by a few, i mean tasha) will greet this as.

and in my defense, i did so leave a mark.

jane seymour is hot

well, its a rather quiet thursday afternoon. after a day of shopping with kim (and little cousin megan), i am back in jarrod's basement, chilling out and watching Wedding Crasher's. which i have never seen even though i don't seem to be living under a rock...but better late than not at all. and can i just say that right now, i am liking the angsty twenty two year old son? but back to the shopping, i spent relatively little. and i say relatively because, yes, i have had larger shopping days. but, the bank account suffered...oh well, c'est la vie, right?

in my quest to find amusement online, i have turned to google's blog search. and of course, since the funniest blogs seem to be about a) dating, b) sex, and c) partying, those are the terms i searched by. sure enough, several blogs that fit my criteria were found. the thing is: these blogs are not as clever as what i was expecting (which was more the clever and amusing tone of It seemed like a good idea at the time...which is actually written by an acquaintance of mine while i lived in Belgium. i point this out becuase she's not a "professional" blogger, just someone with a great sense of word play) but are actually out and out explicit. single men and women giving very specific details of sexual adventures while using wonderful code names, a la The Teacher (Sex, Sports & the Single Guy) or Red Beard (I am, therefore I Date). they made me blush, i do believe. it turns out that i just might be more old fashioned (and i use that with all its negative connotation) than i thought.

Still, they are blogs that i would be absolutly embarrassed should anyone outside of my partner be reading. (if they are true. perhaps the authors and their friends just sit around and bust their guts laughing at the shit people will believe...). on one hand, i feel like they are doing something remarkable and on the other, i feel like they should be ashamed. are these really the moments you want to share with other people? Shouldn't these be the most private moments of life? i mean, i talk about relationships as much as any other girl, but i leave out the specifics. some things are: private. until the blog. that crazy undefinable beast. they certainly don't write anything that cannot be found in a standard romance novel or playboy magazine, and indeed, are often more clever and observant than other things that have been published.

i like blogs because they expose to everyone the wide wide spread of human thoughts. (suddenly i am reminded that the Internet is one of the reasons why child pornography is so rampant.) then i get all annoyed with myself. and the ones that make me think, or laugh, are the ones that i will continue to read and tell my friends about. just like my standard celebrity blogs. i guess its just an extension of living vicariously. now, i am blogging vicariously. don't worry: i won't follow their lead. i am much too PG for that. or, perhaps, just cowardly. and

things i love to love

jarrod sent me this little ol'link during an msn chat the other day. definitly worth a look:



(one day i will figure out how to make photos a link, for now, here ya go: The Monkeysphere)

okay, maybe one thing other thing i hate. how even when i think i am getting something (in this case, the basics of html) i always find something to stump me. and now i will probably spend the next half hour trying to figure it out. but, also, i downloaded Rent (i couldnt bring myself to see it in the theatre even though the girly part of me really really wanted to) and i should probably just watch that. it should be over just when jarrod will be getting home.

things i love to hate

after reading tasha's blog, i decided that there are definitly things that annoy me too.

for instance, last night i desired a bath. i went to put the plug in. when, lo and behold, i realized, as i realize every time i have a bath, how retardly not universal the plug is even though it is supposed to fit any drain, including mine. it doesn't fit securely, and more annoyingly, often gives the impression of being secure, but the second you turn the water on, it just pops up. a little bit. so the bath water is constantly draining and there is not a thing to be done. except by a new plug. which is what i will do one day.

now, this next point is both a dislike and a public service announcement. ahem. ladies and gentlemen, when buying a new coat, often a nicer coat, or a skirt, also, often of the more quality kind, if the slit is closed with a loosely stitched X, then you undo it BEFORE you wear it. yes, i know, i am blowing minds here. but please. the stitch is to be removed. the whole point of the slit is to allow for the natural movement of the body and for the garment to maintain its shape when being worn (you know, no awkward bunching). To leave the stitch in only negates the existence of the often flattering slit. a sub point: if you are buying wool, and on the sleeve you note a small, also loosely stitched, tag, you are to remove this as well before wearing. what? a modern day hero you say? i am just trying to make the world a prettier place, one wool coat at a time.

wow. that's all i got right now. you'd think i would just be able to rhyme off dozens of things that bug me. and i can't think of a one. i think that actually speaks to what a kind, understanding compassionate person that i truly am, down to my very core.

update! I thought of another pet peeve. a few weeks ago, i babysat for a good friend while she and her husband attended a wedding. they traveled from out of town (ottawa), paid for a hotel, several meals out, and...they were not allowed to bring their children to the wedding. the actual ceremony was at ten a.m. and the reception was over by eight, so it is not as though they were partying until the wee hours of the morning. my pet peeve, in particular: brides today! what nerve to ask your guests to spend so much of their own money and time (also, free time, i mean, weekends are valuable!) only to exclude their children. in my opinion, should you decide that children and your wedding are anathema (which blows my mind in itself), then you are obligated to ease the burden on your guests by providing childcare. my message: people are neither obligated to attend your wedding, or to give you a gift. should these people decide to, please ensure their day is a happy one. yes, its your wedding. but that means it is also your friends and family attending. treat them well.

truth equals the internet quiz

Your Scholastic Strength Is Deep Thinking

You aren't afraid to delve head first into a difficult subject, with mastery as your goal. You are talented at adapting, motivating others, managing resources, and analyzing risk. You should major in: Philosophy Music Theology Art History Foreign language

What Should You Major In?

Well, well, well, looky here. Now see, i found this little quiz on my friend alex's blog and i thought to myself, well, alli, why don't you take this little quiz and just see what it reveals. and then i thought to myself, and of course, you don't have to post it if it says something such as "Commerce, Math, Biology, or Computer Science." But, lo and behold, its says PHILOSOPHY. score: Alli, 1, Dad 0. Oh, i love the internet quiz. five questions and the answers to the riddles of life. and, i, for one, believe pretty much everything that i read on the internet, so i am pretty sure this is as close to truth as it had been carved in stone and handed down to one of god's most trusted disciples (in this case, the Internet being god, and the quiz being the rock, and me being the disciple? i am not so sure this analogy works).

on a brighter reading week note, i have talked myself out of heading over to the thomas fisher rare book libary. we have an assignment due on monday that involves evaluating a collection of author's papers, or publisher's papers, and discussing how the collection can contribute to a study of the time period, the genre, even, more specifically, of the author and their influences. Basically, how these archives can contribute to the study of book history, in some way, shape, or form. the reason i am so hesitant is, quite simply, personal shame. this summer i interviewed for a position there. what i would have done was catelog incoming donations/gifts to the library and check them against what already existed in the collection to determine if the new addition is of higher quality. well, what they handed us (and by us i mean the other people who interviewed, i am assuming) a book and told us to write about it. well, what i know about rare book cateloguing now, though it is not much, is significantly more than what i knew in august. it is pleasantly enough to be horribly terribly embarrassed by what i wrote. you know, leather binding, crest on inside cover, etc. when really, what they would have been looking for was a detailed whether it was a quarto or octavo (or folio or some other size), the number of leaves, the watermark, the pagination, etc. etc. when collected correctly this information provides an almost codelike description of the contents. very detailed, very specific, and meaningless to the lay person. which is what i was. which is what i am. i am tempted to send them an email to apologize. however, on the off chance that they have forgotten, or that perhaps i was not included in the weekly "let's laugh at students" newsletter, i have no desire to bring them back to that morning. besides, i plan on applying again this summer. i mean, hey, new year, new chance, right? i will have to venture to the library tomorrow, but, as always, working tomorrow seems so much more appealing to working today.

besides, i am reading a wonderful book called Deafening. grania, a deaf woman, and jim, a hearing man, are newly married when he ships off to fight in the Great War. their story is one of little sound, but much love, and the tale, from the beginning has been tinged with sadness. so much sadness that i almost fear to keep reading, as if, by only starting the book, i can meet these people while also avoiding whatever sad fate is going to befall them. okay, fine, i read the last page, so i know that jim comes home, but i do not know about her family, and somehow, having happiness in her marriage, though wonderful, becomes even more sad when i know that her family cannot possibly survive intact. so i keep reading. i'll let you know how it goes. i am such a sucker for war books that even though i "joke" about not reading to the end, there is no real way that i would stop. i am not sure where this infatuation comes from, but if there is a war in the book, i will read it. perhaps it is because human behaviour in war is always unexplainable and unpredictable. does that make it interesting? yes. but it also makes it heartbreaking. and inspiring. and it makes me feel incredibly, incredibly thankful to those who came before.

I am feeling a bit down this evening. you'd think it might be because i just put in a nine-hour shift at the library, but alas it is not. so instead, i am remembering better times, a la une chemise (okay, i think that means 'shirt' in french. clearly i want t-shirt...any ideas?) rouge pour la festivale d'pasta. a few weekends ago, jarrod and i rented a car and headed down (with cousin chris is tow) to visit the extended family for a large pasta fundraising dinner. my extended family, many of whom are members of the Essex Rattlers yearly host a large ($17 000 plus) shin dig wherein most of my cousins end up serving as volunteers. i was shocked at the scope of the evening. although this was the fifth dinner, it was the first time i had been able to make it (living in ottawa and all). jarrod and i, as well as the other volunteers, scurried like the mice we were to sell tickets all evening. it was fantastic. there were prizes galore, to the tune (get it?) of an ipod nano, weekend trips to niagara falls and other lovely cities, tickets to plays, plus tonnes of gift certificates. i loved feeling involved, especially in such a fun evening. i loved that jarrod was meeting all the other people that i love. i loved getting out of TO for the weekend. besides, having family around, especially my aunt beth and uncle jim who kindly let us sleep at their house (in the same bed! take that mom!), is a nice feeling. there is something about family, isn't there? i can't put my finger on it, but its there.

this past weekend, jarrod's company hosted a bowling evening. i think i may have pulled a bum muscle, but i was getting really into it. i love bowling! julia t. made an appearance as well, and let the record state, that i kicked her little bowmanville ass in the sport of go karting. its hilarious, actually, because to decrease the amount of "bumping" and "grinding" (and you thought those words had some other kind of meaning), if you do so, the cars automatically flash a yellow light and slow you down to half speed. now, see, if i was racing, this would be a problem. but i don't race! i bump! i grind! and going slow, just gave my enemies even more time to see me swerving, rendered helpless by the small track and tight turns, right into them! six dollars well spent, my friends, well spent. the evening was quite hilarious. i swear, the people that work at DCC are the popular kids from high school who forgot that popularity stopped mattering, when, people say, turned eighteen. this is what i mean: bowling. people look ridiculous. no one is a 'cool bowler.' and yet people were standoffish, cliquey, lots of tank tops and jewellery. it was bowling, for goodness sake! but, it made us laugh, and anything that makes one laugh cannot be all bad a thing.

my parents were in town for the evening. they are on their way to...dare i say it...another exotic location. mexico it is! unfortunately the tickets were booked before England was planned (in my opinon, they are not too upset about it.) and they had a quick quick stop over in toronto. of course, it had to be on a night that i was working. i was sorry to only see mom and dad for a minute, but, mom has the wonderful ability to cheer people up, to say exactly the right things, and to give good hugs, just when you think you cannot hold it all together. i hope all mom's are like that, but i have a feeling mine is special. i have asked them to send me photos, and if they do, i will post them on here. i mean, hey, the word traveling is in the title. i know, i know, we all thought it was in reference to moi...but i will take what i can get.

FIS1311 Project Profile

For our Introduction to Technology class (remember: this blog began as a class project) , we have been asked to post selected assignments online. The following is said assignment. Now, just because you are not in the class, this does not mean you should not feel like you can comment. Actually, the whole wonderful point of this is to get some discussion going! So let's hear it...

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Our public library, in a traditional town in Canada, has begun investigating the different varieties of Library System software available on the market. Gone are the days of simple patron-librarian reference service—our users are now demanding a software medium that is quick, easy, and allows web access to search from home. Even our librarians, who have happily discarded the card catalogue, are looking for a tool to help in all areas of library administration—our librarians are now demanding a software tool that allows them to update records, track acquisitions, and other tasks that allow the maintenance of the collection, quickly and effectively. Our library is publicly funded and non-profit, so we have budgetary restrictions in adopting new software. Also, we are not programmers, so this new system will have to be friendly enough that we can use it and sophisticated enough that it is compliant with other library systems.

The question is, how do we find a library system broad enough to encompass all of our objectives and yet, still be financially affordable? Fortunately, there is a Library System currently available that addresses and meets many of our needs.

A view of the Koha Homepage:


Koha is “the first open-source Integrated Library System (ILS).In use worldwide, Koha's development is steered by a growing community of libraries collaborating to achieve their technology goals. Koha's impressive feature set continues to evolve and expand to meet the needs of its user base.” It offers the same practicalities as a more traditional library system, such as modules for circulation, cataloging, acquisitions, serials, reserves, and patron management. The Koha Integrated Library System lists the following as its core components:

• A full featured modern integrated library system (ILS).
• Award winning and open source no license fee, ever.
• Linux, Unix, Windows and MacOS platform.
• Web Based.
• We can full integrate it into your website.
• Copy cataloguing and z39.50.
• MARC21 and UNIMARC for professional cataloguers.
• Tailored catalogue module for special libraries.
• Use as a document manager or digital library.
• Manage online and off line resources with the same tool.
• RSS feed of new acquisitions.
• E-mail and/or txt patron's overdues and other notices.
• Print your own barcodes.
• Serials management module.
• Full catalogue, circulation and acquisitions system for library stock management.
• Web based OPAC system (allows the public to search the catalogue in the library and at home).
• Simple, clear search interface for all users.
• Simple and comprehensive acquisition options.
• Koha is multi-tasking and enables updates of circulation, cataloguing and issues to occur simultaneously.

If our library were to adopt a new system, it would have to provide the same level services that we currently offer. Koha provides not only these, but also provides them more effectively. For example, unlike bulky traditional systems, often housed on an in-house server, Koha is a web based program that, while designed to provide inter-system operability, is entirely open source (and therefore non-proprietary). It provides an easy-to-use interface, designed for library and non-profit environments. On the following examples, we see the manifestation of Koha in different ways. Koha is very adaptable and caters to each specific library environment.

A view of the Koha web interface, as used at the Horowhuena Library Trust:


A second example, as used at the Nelsonville Public Library:



Koha, as a system, has won several awards for usability and innovation. The effects of the new online system will be seen immediately and positively by both librarians and patrons. Now, librarians can update records, add newly catalogued items, link records to useful WebPages, all at the touch of a key pad from any location. In turn, library patrons can now perform detailed searches from home.

By choosing an open source product, our public library will avoid the largest issue facing libraries when adopting a sophisticated integrated library system—the cost of it all. In the past, not only would it be financially difficult to finance the proprietary charges for new software, but we would continually have to pay for new upgrades whenever the software provider issued an upgrade. Koha’s existence is in direct response to this. It is open source software, ideal for all libraries and other non-profit organizations. Open source software is a new resource for today’s organizations, not only well funded or large institutions. One of the key elements of the nature of open source is not only that the software is distributed free of charge but also that all the coding and programming languages used in the software are available for public use. This means that many brains in many locations, anyone who is using the software, can now develop innovations and improvements that can be passed along to others using the system. (Currently, volunteers working to improve Koha are spread across New Zealand, France, Canada, and the United States. If you would like to contribute, please click here.) The Library System can be continually upgraded, even many times a year, which would simply have been impossible with proprietary software. It also means that our library can choose to upgrade when we need to, not when we can afford to. We would retain a greater amount of control over our own system.

If our library chooses to adopt Koha software as for our system needs, it needs to have a proven track record. Fortunately, Koha, the first of its kind in the world of integrated library systems, has been in continuous development since 1999. Open source somehow seems to lack the reputation of proprietary software, but as time passes, and the consistency of the program is demonstrated, this will surely change. In the meantime, Koha has posted Case Studies on its web page to showcase successful system integrations.

Unfortunately, this system is not perfect. For our library, unless we have an information technologist well-learned in the Koha programming language, we will have some issues in receiving timely assistance if we experience problems with our system. With no licensing fees, there is also no tech support. There are several vendors who will support Koha, for a service fee, and there is a large (and free) support resource online. Also, the largest library the Koha is currently operating in has a circulation of over half a million. For us, this should easily meet our patrons’ needs. Koha is designed to support any volume of circulation, however, this has not yet been tested practically.

For our library, Koha is an effective, cost efficient choice. It provides all of the services that our library is looking for, is easily upgradeable, and does not require a large amount of hard ware to run successfully. Although it is new, it is not so new as to be unproven. Also, the choice towards open source can be a statement made by our library that shows our support for technological innovation at a price that everyone can afford (free!).

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All facts and details provided on the Koha project can be found on its website: www.koha.org

squeaky wheel gets the grease

finally, a tacky tourist photo to be treasured forever!

wishing that i could be writing what i wished

well, i have a twelve page research methods paper due in two days. less, even. oh, god, less. and despite having read the article weeks ago, and despite having sat down to write it on several occasions, i have written...zip. and even when i have tried, i have realized that perhaps i am not a critical thinker. crap. that is going to make writing a "critical review" very difficult.

instead, i read this on a friend's livejournal:

While on the website yafro.com, i came upon a tonne of homophobic posts, all from the same guy. so i responded with the following. it wasn't intended to be a livejournal post, but as it chronicals my present, i thought what the hell.

Crapper,
Your logic is childish and rooted in dogma and fear. If god hates gays, then why did Florida and New Orleans get hit with hurricanes and not San Francisco, Montréal, Belgium or Netherlands?

I don't know which way to rebut you. Easily walk though the inconsistencies in your posts, or respond with love. I'll choose the later because it seems you haven't been exposed to much of it.

I am gay. I live with four straight men, one straight women (we are university students) and my homosexuality barely plays into my relationship with them (ie. the boys I live with are very hot, all skinny and tall with great bodies and fucking hot faces. So occasionally I make a joke about getting with them. They laugh and joke back. Sometimes a housemate and I will go to the gym or pool, and they aren’t nervous about me seeing their package. Despite to popular belief, I do have self control). We all have significant others that we have been seeing for quite a while who always hang out in our house, meaning there is frequently 12 of us at home. Each of us are of completely different personality types, evident in the 12 different university programs we're enrolled in. This diversity makes our house awesome. And there is a genuine sense of love in our home. And I must play a big role in this as I frequently get told that I am the alpha male.

I love my partner. And I have dated many people before him, and had casual sex, and I don’t regret either. I can give you excuses about growing up in a small town of 31,000 people where being gay would take your stock off the social market, and about thinking that I would never be able to really love the wife I would have to get because of my family, because I would always feel that I am lying to her about a core aspect of my being. But if you are uncomfortable with casual sex, I respect that, and have many friends that never partake in it. Having found someone I love now, someone who is tall, hot, graduated top of his class for a top university, enrolling in a MA, and is smitten with me, wow, I never thought I would get here. I never expected to be able to have this sort of love in my life – complete honesty, acceptance and enjoyment. Being able to marry him (as I am Canadian) matters a lot. It means that I have the same [potential (as I will not rush into marriage)] validation of my relationship as my friends. It means that when I have kids – through adoption or surrogacy – they will know that our family is a real family, recognised by law.

Mr. Crapper, I am shocked that you would expel energy on a campaign against gays, a campaign of hatred. I guess the only comparative exercise I have participated in is the thousand essays I have written for school about how the American version of free-market capitalism, known as neo-liberalism, is destroying global cultures and serves to keep billions of people in insolvent conditions. But even then, I don’t hate capitalism – there are hundreds of little reforms that could happen that would make it work for more people. What I do hate are the pious folk who are scared of change and of not being the centre of the universe, who hide behind religious doctrine (or are atheists comfortable with extreme inequality) and partake on crusades against those that are different. Mr. Crapper, love doesn’t have to be scary, indeed it doesn’t even need to affect you if you don’t let it.

There are times when i find myself surprised at how wonderful and inspiring, and absolutely original, my friends are. sometimes, hey, we can be assholes, but then, then there are moments like the above. perhaps its is when something strikes a nerve deep inside of us...but i do not think this would do my friend justice. he's brilliant. and lovely. and admired. not because he is gay. but because of who he is.

an old friend messaged me today, commenting on the existence of this blog. a friend from highschool, we lost touch once the whole separate cities, new lives thing that is university happened. but, somehow, it strikes me as wonderful that, now, a few years later, we can chat again. i mean, really, we should have more to say now than then, with more life, more mistakes, more happiness, characterizing us. and yet, this blog seems to bridge the distance. it records, a little tiny bit, of our lives, just enough that that little string stays attached. enough so that familiarity can survive. i am glad that she reads this. i am glad that she messaged me.

in the spirit of old friends reading this new blog, perhaps i should back up a step. the title comes from a) what i like to do and b) what i'd like to be. traveling has always been a bit of a passion, realized first with a trip to greece and then with a year long excursion in western europe. hopefully continuing this summer with a trip to england to visit my expat parents. after that, who knows? africa? literacy programs? something? which brings me to "what i want to be." currently, i am doing my master's in information studies at the university of toronto. its going well, some classes more than others, topped off with a wonderful collaborativ program in book history and print culture that brings me back to my humanities roots.

has anything else changed since i walked the walls of st. stephen's secondary school? i am not sure. many of the friendships that i value most were formed there and they continue in the present. so something must be static. but i think that i was happy then and i know that i am happy now. and a bit healthier. i drink a lot less and i execise a lot more. i read. i write. i download illegal music to my ipod. i lay in bed and eat mcdonald's breakfast with my love, sometimes even with a newspaper. i walk more than i drive. i watch too much crappy tv and i love it. i promise to write emails that never seem to find time to write, i make resolutions to spend more time at school and less in coffee shops looking out the window, and i wish i called my mom more. so yes, life is different and the same, and in many cases new has replaced old. but i suppose that is what is so amazing about memories. they can keep the old new...like covering the windows in the student council room with ryan. or endless coffe trips with steph. endless movies with julia. the endless comedic antics of chris and paul. learning to like myself through the energy that is jeanetta. jacqui, chantal, cassie, brian, russ...names that i think of not as often as i should but ones with whom i associate some of the best experiences of my life. i just haven't figured out how to keep the old as close when time marches on. if someone has that secret, i'll buy it. or maybe trade my book stand for it.

there's a party tonight. a boy from FIS is kind enough to have invited our entire program over to his house, as well as i believe a great deal of his and his room mates' friends, as well as a few of the more musically inclined and all signs point to it being a raucous good time. and yet, here i sit, in my lululemon pants, eating some microwave popcorn, half heartedly working on my presentation for monday and mostly watching 'rollergirls' (new obsession) on tv. there was a time when i would have jumped on this whole party idea. seriously. flash back four or five years and i would have been raucous. but now, the idea of having a night to myself (after a wonderfully nice visit with jarrod...will i ever get sick of watching the sketch that is kensington market? i propose that i will not...)

this is something a friend sent to me. basically, the artist travels around western europe doing these absolutly amazing 3D chalk drawings. let me check out his name. Julian Beever. if you care to look him up.

I guess the key to his art look 3D is taking the photo at precisely the right angle. This is what it looks like at not the right angle:



and then, at the exact right perfect angle:



I am pretty sure that that is FUCKED.

on the party front, i am pretty sure i'll go. because hey, there's some good kids going and well, i ain't getting anything productive done here. seriously. i bought a book stand (five dollars) and i have taken several different sized books and magazines and tested how well they work. its wonderful. this is going to make reading while eating breakfast so much easier. do you need to know what i am talking about? why, i would love to show you!

here she is:



look, i know at least one of you wants one. even if that one is me mum.