Wednesday, July 27, 2005


well, sofie was supposed to arrive today. she didn't, due to the wonders and unpredictability of air travel, but she will tomorrow. and its funny, how forward i am looking to seeing her. yes, for the simple reason of seeing an old friend, but also for a selfish reason. because her arrival is just one step in the path to a new section of life. this past six months in bowmanville have been wonderful in ways i never expected nor could have hoped for, but the next two years, living in a city again, living on my own again, well, that is something that this ol'girl just cannot help looking forward to. its life happening again, me, being right in the centre of the action, making choices, acting on them, in ways that stagnant bowmanville just cannot drag out of me. i won't lie, i'm not a huge go getter. i need a little push. bowmanville is comfy and warm like an old sweater. toronto, and grad school, is like that dress that you want to show off. and work to maintain...the attitude and the wear it. its as though when you have to try, you do, and you rise to the challenge, but when you don't, well, you sink down into a stew of television and candy. i am a better person, a more interesting person, a more challenging person, when i am active in my life, when i feel like i am making something happen. its the whole thing...when i have nothing to do, i do nothing. when i have a million things, i do a million things.

so i just added a picture. which i actually think is pretty neat. this is of me, my ma, and my brother, standing on the look out by my cottage. jarrod took it. we like to brag that it is nicer than the official bancroft outlook. mostly because you cannot see any man made--things--and because, well, its ours. we had a lot of fun last weekend. i look forward to going back again this weekend. for the wakeboarding, the swimming, but mostly for the friends who are coming. i guess that is what is so funny about all of this change. i so desparatly want to bring with me the good things about my life thus far. and the neat seems to be possible. to take with you these wonderful people who have helped shape you and make you a better person.

Wednesday, July 13, 2005

uh, this is just a test. jarrod wishes i would stop using his lap top and go get LP from the car. but i am too lazy and its too far. he's getting angrier. i can tell by the way his breathing is changing.