since i have a mid-term hanging over my head, i have decided that the best way to spend my time would be reading a book entirely unrelated to school. this would be a book by james frey called A Million Little Pieces. very free writing, run on thoughts, sometimes lacking coherence, the opposite of thoughtful prose, a six week journey through his time in rehab. and yet, very very moving. and, despite the sometimes graphic language, and the honesty, i still...still...have a hard time really understanding what it means to be in withdrawal. however, it did redefine how i view addiction and social pressure and acceptability. and i cannot begin to write on how impressed i was with his own sense of responsibility. he was determined to not be a victim, even if in some cases he was, and i think that that is probably what gave him the strength to stay sober. that if it was his decision to do the terrible things he did, then it can be his own decision to not do those things. if it was not within his own control to start, than how could it be within his own control to stop?

now that that little distraction is done, i can turn my head to more degree earning pursuits. that would be a mid term, due thursday, and another mid term, due next tuesday. somewhere in there i am going to enjoy jeff's first hockey game and some time with jarrod, when, wonderfully, neither of us is sick.

Of course, George Martin has released a new book. When i realized it was out today, this morning, i started putting on my coat to go buy it. at which point i did realize that i could NOT go buy it. being that i had two classes, a group report, and a midterm due. so sometimes i am an idiot. but those waves usually pass within a moment or two. thankfully.

costa rica bound?

wow. everyday we get emails from our faculty; to the tune of, don't let strangers in the lounge, sign up here for tutorials, and the library is closed on saturday night. things like that. but today we had one detailing an internship in san jose, costa rica. so i sent 'em on over an email. most of me knows it'll never happen. but it'd be cool, hey?

also, if you have a few mintues...

http://www.funnyjunk.com/movies/59/Everything+Is+Gay/stream

In words of Chris, "
I'm thrilled to know that the spirit of ROCK (fist pump included) is alive and well in our youth..." Hilarious.

it has not been a relaxing reading week

once, long ago, before i really entered university and really knew what a reading week was, i heard this fantastical rumour about a whole week off from classes. see, now that i am much more mature and knowledgable girl, i know that reading week is just pile-on-the-work week...and so it is and so it always has been.

but, the good news...its almost over.

see, i have this huge group project due on tuesday. actually, its a little piece of a huge group project, to the tune of an "interim report." so, there's five of us, we all do three or four pages. so i am reading them over tonight (we have a meeting tomorrow morning). jeff, well, jeff's just smart and brilliant, so his section is excellent. text book. peter, well, peter's posted version is only a rought copy, and so hey, yep, its passable. but then, then i read zhong's. its kinda english, but not really english. and its the same information as peter's! good god! so i edited it. by which i mean i rewrote it. but that still doesn't solve the problem of it being...the SAME AS PETER's. thank heavens i am not the group co-ordinator and so i don't really have to worry about it. you know, at least until i decide to volunteer to do it tomorrow at the meeting.

but, even with all the school cafuffle (sp?), i have to admit its nice to be home. hazy air and all, i can't help but take a nice deep breath as i walk out of the st. patrick subway station. especially when i have plans for a delicious lunch. i was hoping to talk julia into indian (much easier than i expected) and finding an indian buffet was easy...(mom...do you like little india? or the place beside it?) i never ever get tired of old friends, eating good food and good conversation (by which i mean relationships, sex, celebrity gossip). by the time we were finishing dessert (the most delicious rice pudding...and i know my rice pudding), sofie had arrived and the conversation just got better. julia and sofie hadn't seen each other...in, oh, since we went to ottawa that time in august, so there was some catching up to do. sometimes i just look at my friends and wonder how on earth i managed to hold on to such funny and creative people, but, i just count my luck stars. and try to hold back my sarcasm (which i think would drive people away).

less than two hours of work left. i should probably do some shelving. should probably. weird. the second that i typed that, ian asked if i wanted to shelve, or if he should. that same second. and i should. because he shelved last week. i hope i don't get lost in the silence upstairs. what's the point of a library that no one uses?

anticipation?

well, sofie was supposed to arrive today. she didn't, due to the wonders and unpredictability of air travel, but she will tomorrow. and its funny, how forward i am looking to seeing her. yes, for the simple reason of seeing an old friend, but also for a selfish reason. because her arrival is just one step in the path to a new section of life. this past six months in bowmanville have been wonderful in ways i never expected nor could have hoped for, but the next two years, living in a city again, living on my own again, well, that is something that this ol'girl just cannot help looking forward to. its life happening again, me, being right in the centre of the action, making choices, acting on them, in ways that stagnant bowmanville just cannot drag out of me. i won't lie, i'm not a huge go getter. i need a little push. bowmanville is comfy and warm like an old sweater. toronto, and grad school, is like that dress that you want to show off. and work to maintain...the attitude and the body...to wear it. its as though when you have to try, you do, and you rise to the challenge, but when you don't, well, you sink down into a stew of television and candy. i am a better person, a more interesting person, a more challenging person, when i am active in my life, when i feel like i am making something happen. its the whole thing...when i have nothing to do, i do nothing. when i have a million things, i do a million things.

so i just added a picture. which i actually think is pretty neat. this is of me, my ma, and my brother, standing on the look out by my cottage. jarrod took it. we like to brag that it is nicer than the official bancroft outlook. mostly because you cannot see any man made--things--and because, well, its ours. we had a lot of fun last weekend. i look forward to going back again this weekend. for the wakeboarding, the swimming, but mostly for the friends who are coming. i guess that is what is so funny about all of this change. i so desparatly want to bring with me the good things about my life thus far. and the neat thing...it seems to be possible. to take with you these wonderful people who have helped shape you and make you a better person.

uh, this is just a test. jarrod wishes i would stop using his lap top and go get LP from the car. but i am too lazy and its too far. he's getting angrier. i can tell by the way his breathing is changing.