Tuesday, March 28, 2006

now i know how prometheus feels

i am trying to go on vacation. and to leave this wonderful country (especially if i want to come back) i have to bring my passport. now, i have a passport. i have lovingly carried it across europe, collecting stamps and treasuring them almost as much as my beloved blankie (they both get carry on treatment). it has come time to renew: except, wait, the canadian passport office no longer renews passports. you have to get a whole brand new one. this is retarded: i am the same person. i am just five years older. that whole guarantor thing? they still know me! okay, okay, i get that you need to fill out the addresses, and perhaps even the emergency contact info again. but the fact of the matter is this: if you were a valid Canadian five years ago, you are a valid Canadian now.

thursday will be my third trip to the passport office. having newly relocated to Toronto, i do not know anyone in the city who can sign my guarantor forms (and picture). but, on the web site, it mentions that if you have not known a guarantor for two years, you can simply fill out an "in lieu of guarantor" form. in my mind, this was for people like me. I figured, i had to prove who i was (show id) and then, someone official looking would authorize, after i had proved myself to indeed be Allison Moira Larsh, it by just signing it or something, perhaps with a flourish. but no. its only for people who are applying for a passport who have not lived in Canada for two years. would it fricking kill them to say that on the webpage? and i mean, even if you have not been in canada for two years, if you move back to your hometown, then hell, you still have a guarantor. i even tried to coerce my friend ian into signing it for me. but he's not a professional engineer. dang it.

fortunately, my boyfriend lives in oshawa. fortunately, i visit. fortunately, his grandpa lets me borrow the car on occasion. these are the things that kept me from totally losing it. so, i got my childhood dentist to sign my photo. yay! i'm me! on my second trip to the passport office (the first was to be told that i needed a real guarantor), they informed me that i need to have him sign the forms as well. crap. this one was entirely my own fault. but i think tears still sprung to my eyes. and by think, i mean they definitely did. so i purolated him the form. and i will pick it up on thursday. and i go to the passport office and they tell me anything other than they will happily process my order, i do believe that i will resign myself to a life lived within the borders of canada. that's what, 6000 km to explore? should keep me busy.

please let me get to egypt, please let me get to egypt.

2 comments:

Ms. McKeegan's Blog said...

what's in egypt? i mean, besides a few pyramids and some great beach volleyball courts.

if you lived in america, no one would really care where you lived. think about it.

al said...

i mainly want to go for the felucca boat cruise down the nile.

and you know, that childhood obsession that never entirely went away with adulthood. you want to talk tattoos: i'll sure you my egypt motif if you show me your teenage folly!